Thursday, May 27, 2010

May-hem..A Month That Was

The month saw an increasing number of our politicos getting inspired by Baba Ramdev. Quite a few of them are now trying to put their foot in their mouth with varying degrees of success. Jairam Ramesh went international and demonstrated this amazing feat with his effusive commentary in Beijing on the home ministry’s misplaced paranoia. Far from getting applauded for his carefully cultivated bonhomie with the Chinese, he received a swift rap on his knuckles. He is now sulking in silence. Nitin Gadakari not wanting to be left behind likened a couple of his fellow parliamentarians to the canine variety. The BJP president’s comparison of SP Chief Mulayam Singh Yadav and RJD supremo Lalu Yadav to dogs kowtowing to the Congress, evoked howls of protests. Gadakari is now busy licking his own wounds.

Our desi export Mallika Sherawat is also making friends, but of a slithery-slimy variety. The actor desperately promoting her latest flick Hiss at Cannes got cozy with live snakes during a photo call. The snake union has launched a complaint with PETA.

Talking about friendly neighbours, Pakistan took their new found love for Sania-bhabi to new levels. The tennis star has appeared on packets of a gutka brand, with the punch line “tazgi bhara ho ang ang, jab Sania bhabi gutka sang”. Wonder what Sania’s reaction is to this wonderfully fresh idea?



If you are in the capital, you can forget about getting married. No, Sheila Dixit’s government is not endorsing live-in relationships. From August to September almost all community centres in prime locations in Delhi will be taken over to house central paramilitary forces for the Common Wealth Games. It now makes sense to elope and get married. Me, I’d rather elope now, with or without a partner. North of India is experiencing the hottest summer in 100 years. All my cribbing about the unbearable heat is now justified.

Meanwhile in far off London, Harrods the store for the rich & the famous and wide eyed tourists now has a new owner. The Phony-Pharaoh, more popularly known as Mohamed Fayed grabbed the best option available to him, a £1.5 billion mountain of cash from a Qatari investment firm for his iconic store. May he now rest in peace.

Our cricket team’s paid vacation to the Caribbean islands came to an abrupt halt. Besides partying and letting their hair down, they were also expected to play for the T20 tournament. Unfortunately they lost all the super 8 matches. Limited overs, unlimited hangovers? Hic Hic Hurray!

And next time when you lecture your kid on the wonders of fibre, you can give Elvis Presley’s example. The King according to his personal physician died of constipation and not a drug overdose. Sounds credible, after all he did die in his lavatory. Elvis has not left the toilet, wonder if it’s haunted?

There’s bad news for men, the hot eye candy of a stranger now comes with a statutory health warning. Research shows (Don’t I love research) that just 5 minutes spent with a beautiful stranger, causes stress and may be bad for heart. In fact the anxiety level is similar to jumping from an aircraft. There’s bad news for women as well. Having a younger man for a husband apparently lowers your life expectancy. Older men with younger wives on the other hand get to live a longer life. What!! That boring old git comes with a lifetime guarantee and the toy boy on a limited period offer? Life is so unfair.

20 comments:

  1. lol! that was brilliant! a wonderfully scathingly humorous take on the goings on!!

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  2. m new to yur blog and i must admit that yur observations are quite sincere and funny too...goin to follow yur blog from now on...

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  3. nice...but you left out

    the ambani brothers thrashed out a peace formula by defining new battlegrounds to battle in.markets responded favourably, by knocking off a few billions from their personal net worth.

    Air India employees struck work a day after 140 passengers died in a crash, probably to mourn with the families. The upside was 30000 passengers who were stranded did not have to put their lives at stake that day.

    The ever popular Mayawatis wealth has been declared at 87 crores..dont know if they missed out a zero, or mixed up the currency, or if they confused her monthly income for her total wealth.

    PM Manmohan Singh has confessed that he is merely warming the seat for crown prince Rahul Gandhi, and not gone to sleep at the switch. Rahul seems to be in no hurry, as he is busy escorting the Gates couple on a Bharath Darshan..Aaal IS indeed Vell.

    Terrorist cells in the UK are apparently having a problem in recruiting suicide bombers as there are no more virgins left in the UK to promise as reward..

    the rest i will save for my own blog..

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  4. @ Magiceye..wow, glad you liked it.

    @ Nikhil..much appreciate it :)

    @ Madhusudhan... I feel enlightened, I feel blessed. So when do I get to read "the rest" ?

    But sad naa,Prime Minister of the world's largest democracy is simply keeping the seat warm for "Prince-in-waiting".

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  5. Hi, Purba, another fantastic post. I must say you are the best female humor writer I have ever come across.

    Have already blogrolled you.

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  6. I loved it...u know I believe Baba Ramdev has learned from our politicos..they have been doing this for 63 years now...Ramdev Baba is just a novice..the rest of ur research was fantastic..following ur blog now!!!

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  7. Hilarious observations..

    Sania on Gutkha packets..tch tch what a shame...
    Sometimes I feel the politicians feel left behind when they see film stars hogging the limelight and so they keep doing antics to be always on page 1..

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  8. hey just dropped at your blog...must say..its gr8...keep going

    Regards
    Niraj
    Masallalemonade.blogspot.com

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  9. Wow!! That's just wonderful and a humorous may-hem, truly. :)

    "tazgi bhara ho ang ang, jab Sania bhabi gutka sang”....OMG!! :D

    A very hilarious account of May!! :)

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  10. Joshi finally gets to comment:) And that was some compliment.

    Shahid, Baba Ramdev getting inspired by our politicos..that's food for thought. Thanks for following my blog.

    Lazy Pineapple..I love their hilarious, attention seeking antics...inspiration for the likes of us.

    Thank you Niraj and thanks for joining.

    Shilpa..Yea my monthly squeeze..LOL

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  11. I though I am reading events that happened in last one month and presented in very hilarious way! Wonder if newspapers start coming like this... ;)

    Sania bhabhi and punch line is so tazgi bhari lol!

    I think there is some sampling or some design fault with the research results mentioned about meeting beautiful strangers and getting stressed!

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  12. Hillarious!

    You have just found a new FAN...

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  13. @ Karan...But I have to admit newspapers are the bane of my existence. Most of my posts are inspired from what I read in the papers. And so what if you get stressed, the hot stranger is worth each palpitation.

    @ Anmol..Whoa, I am loving it..

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  14. simply excellent :)!!!!
    waow!!!!! thumbs up.... n dimag ki batti jala dae..... :) ;)

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  15. Good one purba, the best one for me was "sania bhabi on gutkha"....Watch out soon they will put fatwa over displaying her jhatka photos on gutka packets :P

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  16. Superb reading ... one dose of ur post will keep the doctors away ... ha ha !!

    Brilliant post :)

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  17. Hilarious...Will there be one every month? Please please?

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  18. Awesome as usual...

    But i will kill the guys who did the survey...

    Hey we are not hearing from Sania nowadays. No tennis, internet hotsearches...Or has she turnes to Pak gutka!!

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  19. @Parth..and you make me sound like Mentos
    @Anto..LOL @ jhatka photos on gutka

    Thank you Sharmila UMOS.

    Jon.. Kill the guys? Why? Why should a survey hold you back from pleasurable pursuits!

    JM...Have been doing my monthly squeeze series since January :)

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