The Tipsy-Topsy World

Of late, I have noticed a trend of gen X sporting a new appendage. They look spiffy in their sharp suits, ready to take on the world and then your eyes land on their protruding beer bellies. Of course the expanding midriff is a national phenomenon passed from generation to generation. But guys taking on this shape at this young an age is a recent phenomenon. And I blame the Pub culture. Go to any resto bar on an evening, and you will spot hordes of BPO types putting Bacchus to shame. And voila one fine morning they have more spilling out of that belt rather than tucked in.

But Americans kids are smart, they know how to keep their cake and eat it too. A lot of youngsters are now opting for a new kind of diet-drunkorexia. It involves starving to save calories for binge drinking. In order to maintain weight, many young men and women think it’s unnecessary to eat, especially if they are anticipating a boozing session later on. Aren’t kids supposed to be studying and doing other nerdy stuff in college? But for me there’s always a silver lining in that proverbial cloud. A path breaking, earth shaking business idea is already taking form in my mind – Your choice of booze now fortified with 21 essential Vitamins, Iron and Calcium. Brewed from organic multigrains, with floating fibres. Or perhaps a slim fast beer?

It appears that people who are really smart are inclined towards wine. Drinking wine is considered a reflection of your intelligence (insert meaningful smile and self gloating). A study suggests that more intelligent children grew up to drink more alcohol, more frequently and in greater amount than less intelligent children. And I can show a Mum lovingly pour out a glass of wine for her bright smiley kid.

Are teens taking this piece of research seriously or are they now actually reading newspapers!!!! According to a report in TOI, alcohol consumption among teenagers in Indian metros is on the rise. And it seems the parents are to blame. No, they are not accompanying their kids for drinking sessions but it is the wad of pocket money which is making life so much headier for their teens. I prefer Bacardi to Biology and have Bank of Mummy and Daddy to finance me. Gosh, life was so much simpler when I was a kid. I got such a pittance that I would manage to finish it within a week and spend the rest of the month broke.

Excess money on the other hand can be injurious to your well being. A Briton, drunk himself to death because he became bored after he gave up his job following his nine-million pound lottery win. Keith Gough won the lottery in 2005 and splurged his windfall on luxury cars, race horses and an executive box at Aston Villa football club. But then he quit his job and began drinking heavily of boredom. Gordon had claimed in an interview last year that his life had been ruined after the lottery win.

It doesn’t come as much of a surprise to me either!
Another set of researchers who studied Ozzy Osborne’s DNA have concluded that he is a descendant of a Neanderthal man. The 61 year old heavy metal singer, who has survived years of drug abuse and alcohol addiction, shares the genome of this prehistoric species. Osborne’s gene has an “unusual variant” which could have helped him survive during the years when he drank up to four bottles of Cognac a day. The self-proclaimed Prince of Darkness, who famously bit the head off a bat on stage, joked that the news of his Neanderthal heritage would not come “much of a surprise” to his family or police departments around the world. 

So, if love your drink more than anything else in the world, you can now heave a sigh of relief. You have solid scientific research backing up what you have known all along – that you are one smart piece of shit, never mind that belly and if you manage to survive years of abuse, you might just be having prehistoric connections! Just make sure, you don’t win a lottery!


  1. Hic...15....hic men ooon..ttttheee...hic deead mans....hic.....chessst...hic...ho..hoo..hoooo....and,,,hic...a...bottllle....hic...of..ruum....hic..
    *pop*....*glug, glug*...*thump*...*SNORE*

  2. phew.... thank god i dont buy lottery tickets! :)

  3. wow!!! loved the flow!!loved the amount of effort!!loved everything abt it...again it has the bokeh effect of a editorial :)

  4. Prateek...The caveman speaketh?

    magiceye...Good, then there's no possibility of you getting bored.

    blindedlocations...Oh dear, this embarrassing. Thank you, so much.

  5. Purba, can you tell me where you have read about the research about Ozzy being a decendent of Neanderthal? I would like to read it..
    I m rather interested in this human evolution and would like to know more.. I was always wondering there might still be genes of Neanderthal. But the researchers say that they do not exist anymore since they killed each other for cannibalism and the last remains are found in the caves of Gibraltar...

  6. how about a diet beer when i am in delhi next?

  7. whooww ..dat was quite a read !!!

  8. phew so much for winning a lottery ticket,,,
    head of bat!!!!! gosh no wonder his DNA turned out to be like that...
    Beer bellies are too common these days... lack of excersize and lots of eating.

  9. Bhawna...It was a news snippet in TOI. And if you google it, you will get a list of links. But none of them detail the research.

    Menon....You don't need to diet!!!!!!!!

    Vicious :))

    Rajlakshmi...Yes, and it looks so awful!!

  10. the weekend is here..and after i read this post i have a point to prove...cheers to your post

  11. Interesting Purba...It is disconcerting to see young adults with bulging bellies...Starts from school these days...Cheers!

  12. A lot of things to learn from your article....

    Some People don't care to value money if they get it too easily..

    Its a shame, to run after luxuries and then ruin life in enjoying them... :-|

    Drinking sure is injurious to health!!

    Excessive drinking is like inviting death for a wonderful candle light dinner!!!

  13. Shahid....Deliriously happy hours :)

    Alka...The kids don't play anymore.

    Kcalpesh...Jeez, look what I did to you. I can almost picture you in a class, summarizing the lecture I gave :D

    And please don't let this stop you from letting your hair down this weekend!

  14. @Purba Actually!! You're right :-D To me it was, Ditto the feeling of people who do drink... "Kitni baar bola, daru mat pi daru mat pi....."

  15. ok confession here...i don't drink and still don't get it y people do it anyways...i heard it tastes yuck... :|...

    anyhow thats not the point...interesting write up girl and yes ur bang on target when you talk about mummy and daddy being a walking talking our days at school we used to call such kids as "bade baap ki bigdi aulaad" (English:rich dad's spoilt brat) fortunately those used to be rare and far in between then..but lately majority of the kids r like that...

    as 4 the lottery factor...well its true too...but i do blame them as individuals also...lets just say that there are always those who know how to go about money...and by that i mean those who get as shocked with the windfall as these people u described...

    but gr8 job girl...awesum writeup :)!!

  16. That was one well informative post. And before someone hijacks your idea of a slimming beer, better patent it quick. :))

    In Delhi, they call these obese pot-bellied boys 'khate-pite ghar ke ladke.:D

  17. A slimming beer is just what we need, along with being fortified with all the vitamins that the youngsters don't get from the meals that they don't have :)

    Some people drink just because it is 'cool', and that then becomes a 'fashion'.

    As for Ozzy Osbourne's Neanderthal trace-back, I can't say I am surprised :)

  18. Aashi...I know what bade baap ki bigdi....means:) I grew up in Delhi, remember?

    Me, I can never get bored of money...there's so much you can do!!!!

    Zephyr...Too much khana peena happening :) Hmm..about the slimming beer, how about a joint venture??

    Smitha...Most red haired people are supposed to have Neanderthal connections!

  19. sometimes it seems that these are the prices which are being paid -walking in the urbane sphere.

  20. All this drinking habits apply to youth from "hi-fi" society. poor don't even get enough food to satisfy their hunger, who think about pot belly!!!!

  21. Hi,Purba-nice post,as always..and,I agree-it's the increase in pocket money that is to blame,as also the need for the kiddos to upstage each other at drinking binges.BTW,some parts of your post seemed to be actually encouraging people to give it a try-at least to beer and wine..;)

  22. Giribala..Is it?? I wasn't.

    Arpana...The pressures of a fast paced life...the impatience to have it all....


    Amit....Hahahah...Next time I will include an Editor's pick.

  23. a gene on chromosome 10, the KCNMA1 gene is responsible for intolerance to alcohol..a genetic mutation produces an inactive form of the enzyme aldehyde dehydrogenase 2 (ALDH2), which is responsible for breaking down the toxic elements in a molecule of alcohol...this is predominantly an Indian mutation...and that is why Indians react badly to drinking...behaviourwise and healthwise.

  24. hic... hic... Must confess that I dont drink now do I understand why people do, but I agree with you on many points from the excessive allowances to the insane drinking diet... :(

  25. Drinking is not gaining more attention now but has been there since time immemorial. Some of the greatest of our mythical hero's were drinkers.The entire yaduvamsha suffered due to that.I do not stop my disciples from drinking since what has to come from inside cannot be forced from outside. Like Nalini say it maybe due to some gene.Whatever may be the reason, it is after all in that individuals hands to stop, start or never enter there.que sera sera!

  26. As Ozzy Osbourne has said himself, his supposed prehistoric lineage does not come as too much of a surprise! I mean, he bit the head of a bat!
    As for the booze talk, it's true about the comparison between wine and other forms of booze. The French drink wine because they think it makes them look refined! The Americans drink beer because they're not smart enough to think about that anyway (no offense to Americans intended).
    People drink beer. That's fine. But people need to exercise. Period.

  27. Nalini...Oh that gene is very much alive and kicking in me. But I like to call myself an economical drinker, one glass and I'm done.

    Shwetal...What ever happened to those days when kids bought books with their pocket money!!

    Krsna...To exercise moderation is also an option.

    D2...I almost didn't recognize you!! The sedentary lifestyle is to blame, but then I spot a lot of youngsters at the gym and get a lot of gyaan from them on strength training. Someday I might just write a post on how to lift weights courtesy all that borrowed gyaan :))

  28. now that you mention it, I am surprised why no one actually created any beer with some proteins, vitamins and other health vocabulary !!! (though organic beer exists) ... were they worried a little bit of soy extract will ruin the taste?? :O

    ... and you believe WHATEVER the TOI tells you ?? :P

  29. New Diet Taps into Pioneering Concept to Help Dieters Lose 12-23 Pounds within Only 21 Days!


Psst... let me know what you are thinking.


Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...