Sunday, December 12, 2010

Excuse me while I ramble

The last few weeks left me breathless, gasping for time. My soulmate – my cook went off for two months for her annual vacation leaving me with anxiety pangs and petulant desolation. Her replacement was a nightmare, someone who couldn’t differentiate cumin from aniseed and looked at the pressure cooker as if it were a UFO.

I also had relatives over for a short stay. And when you have visiting relatives, you can’t get away with shortcuts. You are expected to cook proper meals and put on your best behaviour. I remember as a child, how I excited I would be every time we had our gaggle of relatives visiting us during the summer break. I would be in a fevered state of anticipation of the good times ahead and thought Maa was a big spoilsport with her concern for all that extra work. How drastically your perspective changes with age – now it’s me who frets about the extra effort and the infringement of my valued personal space.

This series of unprecedented events also coincided with me enrolling for yoga class, besides my regular workouts at the gym. My cleaning lady in her endeavour to further spice things up decided she needed a break too. It was harrowing – piles of unwashed utensils, spending most of my day in the kitchen cooking while my trainee cook looked on. And I wasn’t willing to compromise on anything. I had to attend my yoga classes, household chores couldn’t take a backseat either and I didn’t want to give up on my blogging. For me writing a post is not about switching on my computer, thrashing the keyboard and magically producing a post. I do get my bursts of spontaneity but most of the times my write-ups, especially the memoirs, are a labour of love. Sometimes I spend days working and reworking my articles.

All this multitasking left me stressing, cribbing and at the receiving end of the mandatory “you should count your blessings” lecture.

My Yoga class was another story all together. The first few classes I spent just laughing incredulously. “Ab aap apne pairon ke toes ko apne ears tak le jaiye” “Apne left leg ko right shoulder taak pahunchaye” “cat posture mein aa jayeen”. And on top of that we were expected to inhale all the available oxygen of Gurgaon and exhale like noisy pressure cookers. Aww c’mon you can’t be serious was soon replaced by a sheepish me quivering my stomach Baba Ramdev style and twisting my body at vicious angles. Thankfully I don’t grunt embarrassingly, like the woman on the adjoining mat. At least not yet.

It’s been a month of groans and grunts, trials and tribulations. A string of cooking and cleaning ladies later, I feel I’m ready to embark on a brand new career - Didi’s Maid Finishing school. After a kissing couple of frogs I think I have managed to find “the ones” and in the process have emerged incredibly wiser and skeptical to the ways of the maid world.

And in the meantime a friend of mine bought an I-Pad and can’t stop gushing about it. This is what a happy long married life does to you - Your I-Pad becomes the best thing to have happened to you and your cook becomes your soulmate.


  1. main aur meri cook..
    aksar yeh baatein kartey hain..
    kal jaldi aaogi na?
    50 roityaan aur 10 sabziyaan banaaogi na?
    khaaney pe mehmaanon ko bulaaya hai!
    Seriously, cooks and domestic help have become an important part of many of our lives. classes and the grunting lady are funny...

    another good post. Enjoyed reading it.

  2. Hope your Yoga would take care of all the unexpected happenings in home front!

  3. This post reminds me of the importance of maids and cooks in the lives of so many of my own relatives in india. I get tense each time i have to travel with my parents back home coz it means that I HAVE to accompany them to the numerous lunches and dinners that we get invited to as soon as the plane reaches the tarmac and the mobile phones go on again (no kidddding!!).
    The visiting itself becomes a chore since we as guests are always invited (and ultimately kindly 'asked') to visit during days and hours convenient to the domestic helpers of those inviting us :s

  4. :-)
    i was surprised to know that u actually work n rework on ur articles ...ur writing seems soo spontaneous tht i always feel tht u just write in one go and stop only when you have clicked the publish post button :P

    but whatever it is ...i love reading every post of yours :-)
    as amusing as ever

  5. Years ago, I would have said you are over working yourself. Now I dont, Its great to have so much work, so much multi much for our mind to think even under stress. I like it. I like being busy! If not anything, these experiences are fodder for your future blog posts :)

  6. Hope ur reunited with ur soulmate soon! :)

  7. Two words-



    You don't need to tell your folks.

    And the Ipad is the most useless thing to hit the market in many ways lol.

    I guess you have your readers' sympathies!

  8. lol!!!!
    kickass post!

    loved it!

  9. When I joined yoga classes a year back, I too had an grunting lady next to me, who first scared me with the grunt and then the scare developed into a secret grin and then I got used to. Now when I do yoga at home alone :P I miss the grunts

  10. Hehehe and awww! I hope your cook comes back soon! :)

    :) Nice post Purba!

  11. nice post.
    In my college days, I went to the Yoga class there. First day , after some simple yoga steps, master told us that we will take some rest as "Shavasana". After that he told us to take other step. But one guy is not awaking. He slept there.

  12. Ma'am your post reminded how frantic my mum becomes during the stay of guests. And how much I enjoy with them but until they don't discover my FB account. ;P

  13. Vicious...This one was a touch and go post. But to make the mundane sound interesting, is not always easy.

    Aditya...It is...challenges keep you alive :))

    Ana_treek..For thee I shall wait!

  14. Ujjwal...Once you are older you will come across an alien term called "healthy eating" :))


    Lakshmi...Oh you haven't witnessed her antics! But she is amusing. Yoga alone is no fun :(

  15. Priyanka...Thanks and you take care.

    Jidhu...LOL...Sadly I get restless during shavasana.

    Prateek...Why? you upload embarrassing pics of them?

  16. Always Happy...Ummm trying to imagine me whispering sweet nothings in her ears. Scary thought!!

    Ayyangar Sir...Well it does manage to keep my smile intact.

    Wildflower...Hahahah....Why does it always have to be this way - expressing our love by overfeeding our guests!!

  17. "I would be in a fevered state of anticipation of the good times ahead and thought Maa was a big spoilsport with her concern for all that extra work. How drastically your perspective changes with age – now it’s me who frets about the extra effort and the infringement of my valued personal space."
    You have echoed my thoughts...Yes, its not easy to make the mundane interesting...But you can do that. Effortlessly.

  18. Nopes! They'll tell my Mum all my activities. Mum daantengin. O_o

  19. If you are planning to start a Maid Finishing school, I think there will be a lot of competetion.

    I hope your soulmate comes back quick after the vacation, so there is no stops to your bursts of spontaneity which is constantly producing a post in every two days or so.

    I read your posts without fail, but sometimes I dont comment, just because I'm bored of telling you it is good and hillarious - your posts always are.

    On a side note, do comment on my posts. your comments make my day.

  20. Unimaginable...sadly things havent changed much for a woman even those after my Mom's generation..
    btw what was ur better half doin while u were trying to figure out how to make ends meet!!

  21. Enjoyed the post and especially last line ;)

    Btw, re-work on post indeed helps...saying from my experience..:) and from your posts it shows.

  22. Purba what can I say?you must get an iPad is the ultimate multi taskers gadget.imagine cooking macher jhol, while listening to music, while at the same time composing your next blog. You can also dwnlad he latest music, news, books, magazines, and listen/read them at your leisure while you are deep breathing at your yoga class or sweating it out in the gym. All in all a must have for a housewife blogger who is up to date on current affairs.

  23. Alka...Ahh you read that comment of mine :) And Thank God it's not just me who frets over visiting relatives.


    Joshi...I love reading your posts. The only post I didn't comment on was that Wiki type Himalayan post.

  24. Jon...He was my sounding board and he did help me when he was at home - away from his laptop- and not peering anxiously into his blackberry :P

    Prasad...It helps doesn't it!!! I keep finding newer faults.

    Menon...The brand new ambassador for I Pad, who can't stop gushing about his new toy.

  25. yes, Purba, you have always commented. I'm grateful to you for that. I was only trying to tell why I have not commented on some of your posts.

  26. purwa ji maja aa gya ...iss baar aapke blog pr kuch alag tarah ki post ko pada....

    thanks...keep writing like this!!

  27. ha ha ha ha ha ha :) life is just like this!

  28. yeow...Purba you are zimply weaving magic ...

  29. Joshi....Please don't be grateful...I love reading your posts!

    Vivek...Hahah...glad you liked it :)

    Saro...So it is.

    RK..Is that? :D

  30. Wowo Rich lady you are, I cant afford a COOK here I am the RAMU and I am kaam wali bai and I am the gardener ALL IN ONE .. lucky you ... and still RANTING bad bad how mean ... now have a smile you know of one person who doesnot have a cook :) MEEEEEEEE

    so when you getting a I-PAD then :)

    he he hehe


  31. Prateek....Hahaha

    Bikram...You are in Birmingham!!! Of course you won't have a cook and a cleaning lady.

  32. good post as usual..
    btw mam,i think u mite like this..

  33. as usual, very hilarious way of narration.

  34. LOL! Enjoyed reading the post but absolutely love your last punch line :)

  35. Nikhil...Loved reading that post of yours.


    Sanchita... True isn't it?

  36. Hey Purba, like all the others here say..your ramblings are so much of what all of us think but you make it seem so effortless. Loved this :)

  37. J'ai appris des choses interessantes grace a vous, et vous m'avez aide a resoudre un probleme, merci.

    - Daniel


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