Friday, February 11, 2011

A day in the life of Behenjee

Abe ae! Phone milaaa Sudhir Misra ko....Bol sasure ko pichhur banayegaa...Yeh saali media. I see raaad and it is not even Bhalentine. Kanshi Ram jeeee...I miss you so...

Behen Mayawati is fuming and understandably so. The nosey Parker media along with the good-for-nothing opposition is meddling with Behenjee’s affairs again. Mayawati does not have affairs and we trust the men around her. She is untouchable, leave her in peace I say. Let her wafadaar, samajhdaar lieutenants do their job.

Courtesy:Mumbai Mirror
If a much decorated officer wants to be her shoe-shine boy and stoop to wipe dust off Behenjee’s Bata sandals – what is your problem bhai? It is his kerchief that he is using, it is his missus who will be washing it with Surf Excel. Daag achhe hote hai!

Mind it, Mayajee’s charan dhooli is no ordinary dust – it is stardust. Once smeared on your forehead, it can be uplifting, lifting you to higher ranks. Power ke liye salaa kuchh bhi karegaa. Only her handpicked favourites are privileged enough to clean her shoes, serve her food and water. It is indeed a great honour to stoop to a new low to conquer Behenjee’s heart. And in her humble attempt at preventing untouchability, our Madamjee makes IPS officers sweep her floor. Wah wah...Maya Memsahib is a revolutionary, a visionary, the messiah of Dalits, please, please leave her in one piece.

And you media wale, bekaar opposishun wale, you and with your very fertile imagination get lost with Mulayam Singh Yadav. Says who that this is sycophancy? Bhains kaa doodh piya hai to samne aake bol! Ask my secretary in the cabinet and he will tell you the real story. If Padam Singh, my PSO had not cleaned mud from my footwear, I would have slipped very hard. It was the need of the hour. He saved my life, he saved UP. Padam Singh ne yeh to manavta ke nate kiya .

And before you smirk, let me give you the example of Madam Pratibha Patil, President of the second largest democracy in the world. Look where washing utensils for Indirajee took her to. Bartan dho dho ke madam President banee. If Pratibha Patil could become the President of India because she cooked food and washed dishes for former Prime Minister Indira Gandhi , why can’t a PSO, a gallantry award winner bend down to clean Behen Mayawati’s sandal? You never know where it might take him. Padam might just get a Padma. Then who will be having the last laugh eh? Secretary cabinet wale, nai Dilli phone milaa, bol ek Padma chahiye abhi!...Misra can bhait.

Source :
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  1. Ahhh....yes. I have a theory that our cabinet ministers do the role of Pizza Delivery boys for 10 Janpath.
    And I wonder whether the President has learnt to cook Pasta.
    It was pathetic and funny to watch the sandal cleaning episode. I was confused. I didn't know whether to laugh at the stupidity or cry in pity or be disgusted or be angry at the Her Highness.

  2. Our country+democracy+group of cabinet ministers+media+journos+political system=a farce.

  3. umm this is bold journalism...

    Keep it up ...but always make sure that you have facts when you rub noses...

    way to go.

  4. Hmmm...that was a dose of news:)

  5. Couldn't have made a better insight into ranking up through menial work. It always seems to work in our democratic system.

  6. My Internet connection is giving me grief today. Can't seem to open my blog.

    Prats...Laugh that this sorry sycophant actually calls the shots.

    Samadrita... Yes, there is a growing disillusionment.

    RK...Have given links to my source for the write up.

  7. D2..Whatever happened to self-esteem. Did it also become obsolete?

    Raksha...A bitter dose.


  9. dats sooo sooo very aptly said....making a tamaasha of d most ridiculous things.

    and national awards toh are being distributed like dairy milks in bheeksha!

  10. Well written. Success Mantra for today is - Stoop Down to Rise High! I wish our leaders could set high standards and rather than accept , admonish such behabior. I havent seen yeh saali zindagi - but looks like you drew in lot of inspiration from it as well. I enjoyed it much. :-)

  11. but why we even talking of this .. such practise is everywhere .. in almsot every GOVT office the PEON or a new staff member or anyone is a PERSONAL SERVANT of the MD or some high officer ..

    Dont the govt officlas who are to look after the working of the office .. made to look after what MADAM JI is doing at home .. what the kids are doing ..
    this and that doing the shopping fetching this or that

    so it does not bother me if a decorated officer is cleaning the shoes NOW WE KNOW HOW THOSE AWARDS CAME BY...
    aise hi to aye hain joote saaf saaf karke .. No wonder when things like KARGIL or a WAR with Pakistan happens even though we loose so many people we still say India won .. cause officers are busy doing this and thinking of how to get that next promotion ...


  12. Sadiya...Very few deserving people get National recognition. The awards require intense lobbying.

    Mayank...It is the catchy title that inspired me and the characters bear a strong resemblance to people alive and kicking.

    Blasphemous...Shat prateeshat.

    Bikram...The work culture is changing ever since the advent of MNC's. But politicos are still fancy themselves as royalty.

  13. The very title itself made me LOL Purba. Very well satirized. Loved it!
    I feel, servility - Government or private - ultimately boils down to a trade-off between one's self-respect and self prosperity. While some have thick clear lines in between, others' lines are erasable, flexible and re-drawable. The third and the most pathetic lot are those who don't have lines at all.

  14. Gosh! Purba ur posts are always an eye opener.I feel so sorry for our country, where people like Mayawati rule the roost.The poor Mango man is stuck either in traffic or in taxes.

  15. hmm , these were full day news on news,
    Don't know why , where and n how these ppl are roaming freely after so many scams ...Taj corridor scan n all .. .. I thinks its a high time to set guidelines and amendments need to be done in so old constitution on law n order front.

    I don't find a connect in both ..they are quite different ..and Maya it clearly reflect in her voice can I forget her ..when she stood in election for the 1st time and came to our home in Dehradun to get vote ..

  16. hey ... that's exactly what I tweeted ...

    flawsophy: Cong sacks minister for saying "Pratibha Patil became president by cooking for Indira G". Can't we have some healthy sarcasm in our country?

    Seriously, why are we not supposed to have a little sarcasm ...

    good one ... :)

  17. Ah, my good old 'The Spice Times of India'. Behenji mahaan hain. Proud to have been born in the same age as her.

  18. Bhaat a shinteelating blaag post! Suddenly,the future Presidents of India are no more a mystery!

  19. I only came to know of this new now!! wow interesting

    I love the fact that our otherwise haughty and arrogant beauracrats bends down to clean atleast someone else's shoes!

  20. Purba...very very very interestingly written. I can't point a sentence or two that i especially liked. This post consists of a brilliant and interesting line after each and every full stop :)

  21. Victor...And these sycophants are the ones who lord over their subordinates and make their life hell.

    Surabhi...Very well said - The aam admi stuck in traffic and taxes.

    Vivek...And you are trying to say that "milk of kindness" flows from Mayawati?

  22. flawsophy....Because our leaders lack a sense of humor and take themselves too seriously.

    mangoman...Hey long time:)
    The great Indian tamashaa, makes her heart swell with pride.

    umashankar..I have already put forth my candidature for scouring utensils.

  23. Jon...Power ke liye salaa kuchh bhi karega.

    Shalmalee...Hope you understood the Hindi :))

  24. No I didnt mean that. .I mean to say. .she was fishy from that day in my memory....

  25. The inset picture is hilarious, thanks to the profound details that you have so vividly described !!

    Thees waaz bhery bhery fun fun !

  26. I'm mad at all of them. Jail is where they deserve to be in. Sorry, they deserve to die. The nation is in shambles.

    Why did you stop at Patil..? you could have written about a couple more. At least people read your blog -and they aught to know more about the hallowed government and its spineless employees.

  27. Vivek...This I can relate to :)

    Enchanta...And to think she was once touted as the next Prime Ministerial candidate...shudder shudder

    tweedlethumb...The "Benders Pride" gang - they stoop to conquer and how.


  28. beautifully done! the rage fires through!!

  29. Ya, I read about Pratibha Patil washing utensils..We all know why she was made the President. Demeaning the Presidents office..sad.
    The police officer must be thinking," For the sake of my rozi roti, I can even clean her shit..forget shoes.'

  30. I couldn't open your blog for a whole day. Sigh. And tomorrow I am leaving on a tour -- a whistlestop one at that.

    I see that you have given the links to the news items this time. And please add my candidature for vessel scouring too. I have been doing it since I was ten but not in hallowed precincts. :P

  31. I have seen enough of such 'chaaplusi' and 'chamchagiri' in Tamilnadu politics.During emergency, ministers and 'sarkari babus'were crawling at the feet of Indira behnji!

  32. I cant stop laughing...but thats the reality need to scratch some influential backs to get yours scratched this post you have missed our Mr Kalmadi, Ashok chauhan and so many local politicians...

  33. magiceye...gnashing my teeth, think I need to visit the Dentist.

    Alka...Apparently the minister was made to resign over this Pratibha Patil remark.

    Zephyr...I put the links lest the readers assume the post is a figment of my fertile imagination. And enjoy your trip, will miss you.

  34. SR...Our leaders encourage such pathetic behaviour. Gives them vicarious pleasure.

    Shahid...The list is endless.

  35. Another post filled with sarcasm..What if he was just picking up his kerchief which fell on the ground?Poor thing..Got a lot of publicity anyways..

  36. And when Behan Mayawati's dalit park opens in NCR there will be an exclusive store where you can buy 'Mayawati Merchandise' from duppattas, to the bag, suits etc and that's not all there will a barber to give that haircut like her's too!!
    All this will boost tourism and economy…

  37. Blue Lotus...Hardly the poor thing. The man calls the shots and wields a lot of power.

    Delhizen....Yea and when there's Mayawati can Kanshi Ram be far behind? A heart shaped locket with his smiling visage?

  38. These activities in public simply stuns conscious.

  39. I was thinking to write on this one the day news was flashed.
    somehow didn't get time.
    done justice fully, couldn't have placed better.

  40. Licking shoes can take you to heights in our country, right?

    By the way, did our president really cook and wash for Sonia?

  41. East or west, India is the best!!

  42. Arpana..Yupp they never fail to surprise.

    pramod...Glad you liked it

    Nethra...So says the report..none of us were present to witness Patil's devotion.

    Ana-treek...Incredible Indyeah!


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