Monday, February 21, 2011

Mad About Me.....

When Bryan Adams wrote “18 till I die” it was with him in mind.  A finance guru nurturing his myriad interests in amchi Mumbai – life is a celebration for him.  Today in honour of A-musing turning 1, he descends from his pedestal (or rather the golf course)  to take pot-shots at me.  Presenting what goes on in Madhusudhan(Mad) Menon’s mind........

Maxmayur is a lucky man. He beat me to the punch by interviewing the eastern sun before I woke up. And he being a recognized blogger got access to the award-winning celebrity blogger. I am sure he was assisted by the Blogger Gods. While licking my wounds, I decided not to feel sorry for this perceived blogger apartheid, and do my own interview. So what if she is not available for the interview? I have read all her posts, and feel I can answer all my questions, on her behalf without inconveniencing her and insisting on her presence. So the interview, with apologies to maxmayur, and the famous A-Musing blogger went like this:

Me: Madam, can I call you madam?
Purba : Of course not. That is what you call school teachers and the ones who run bordellos. I have also heard that that is what they call the fearless leader of the party that rules our country.

Me: Then, is it ok to call you Behenji?
Purba: Arre, are you insane? That is what they call Mayawatiji, the fearless leader of our downtrodden.
Me: Then maybe I can call you Purba ji?
Purba: I hate the Jee word. It makes me sound like a scam..2G, CWG and Blogger G

Now I already am at my wits end. I rule out Mataji, Rayji, Bloggerji etc. Now I have a brainwave.

Me: Why should I call you any names? Let me just ask my questions then. How do you select what you blog on?
Purba: That is a trade secret. It is like asking Coca cola for their secret recipe. But I will tell you this much. I have my eyes and ears in very high places. The last post for instance was inspired by a late night telephone caller from Lucknow. She was upset about the media furore over her simple desire to keep her footwear clean. And I felt that nobody should be deprived of his right to remove dhool from her Bata sandals.   

Me: How did you get started on blogging?

Purba: Arre, Menon...what kind of a blogger are you? If you are one, you should know how one starts. The problem is not how one starts, it is where you finish that is important. I always think of the end before the beginning. And if you know your Indian philosophy, the beginning is the end, and the end is the beginning..
(Now I feel like calling her Guruji, but am afraid to start on that track again)

Me: Have you ever suffered from writers block?
Purba: What is that? No blocks. Only blogs.  Anyway if there is a block, one can always bypass it and I’m not suggesting surgery!

Me: Have you ever been at a loss for words, then?
Purba: There you go again. That sweet boy Mayur never asked me such faltu questions.  He knew that I am an award winning blogger who has no loss or gain from words and never asked such absurd questions.

Me: I am so sorry. I am not as accomplished a blogger like you or Shri Maxmayurjee. Can I ask you your views on love, since it is the month of February?
Purba: Now you are getting to the point. I have asked all my followers for their views on love, especially on the woh woman.  But let me tell you, love has nothing to do with February.  I believe love has no season and needs no reason.  

Me: What happens when love ends?
Purba: You start again.

Me: With the same one?
Purba: It has nothing to do with one. Minimum two are required.

Me: Very correct. What about same sex love?
Purba: Now why are you bringing sex into it? My blog is not like that. But sex is also unexciting for one, but good for two.

Me: But I remember reading your blog about Hesh and Paes. Wasn’t that about same sex love?
Purba: Uff, that was about victory celebrations. Not about sex, you one-track minded man.

Me: Do you have any advice for aspiring bloggers like me?
Purba: You...? I don’t know about that.  But for other aspiring bloggers, keep writing till your ball- point’s ink dries out and who knows what you write might start making sense to you and all.

As I put my notes away, I can’t help thinking that I should have prepared better, come up with questions that would have left her tongue tied for a change.   Anyway, from now on, I will blog under a different name, and approach her for another interview later.

Me: Thank you very much Madam, oops Purbaji, Oops…..oopsji…jeee… I give up..
Purba: *Smirk* You, my dear man, should have given up long ago!
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  1. Here again, Im the first! yeah!!! Typical Purba ray type post, but not so purba-ish, hold on can there be a word coined in English dictionary like "purbaish"? Don't ask me what does that this time you all must know what that word means :)

  2. WoW! Thoroughly enjoyed it! :D

  3. Haha...this is ultimate! You two should spend more time together :-D

  4. Hmmm.....interesting. By the way...must congratulate you Mr. Menon for having such a brilliant imagination. :)

  5. @purba - you would scare any interviewer away any day.. hussshhh! :-)

  6. LOL, you can really butcher your interviewer if he comes ill prepared. :P

  7. This comment has been removed by the author.

  8. Hmm. Since everyone seems to be interviewing you, I must do one as well. What do you think, Madamji? ;)

  9. Geee....or Jeee....;) That was a nice interview to read...Should say i was tongue-tied reading that...Poor interviewer/ blogger!!!

  10. hey Purba, I have been away from blogosphere for sometime. I am yet to read your posts in February. I started with this post and it was a good read. I wonder if you have special cells in your brain that you come up with such howlarious posts consistently????

    Keep it up Purbaji..err madam.....err I mean... purba behen????..errr...I give up Purba.

    Always Happy

  11. Purba bhai (No Ji, No Madam)The post is completely ROFL. It takes two to tango.

    You are good. Seriously good.

  12. ishhhhh

    Giribala...LOL, he loved your suggestion.

    Mayank...Menon has painted a beautiful picture of me. @ Menon I'll keeeel you.

  13. Carpe Diem...You better come wearing your Ray-Bans :P

    Cloud-nine...tongue tied why??

    Always Happy...Hey long time...hadn't you come to India for your vacay?

    Showa...It's was Menon's great idea :))

  14. A howling dramatic monologue;)!

  15. My pen is dry, my tongue is tied..
    By the chill that kills
    The warmth of the eastern sun..

    Like Robert Bruce, I will try..
    And try again
    To blog some more just for fun.

    Thank you everybody, especially Purba jee, er..madamji...CWG.., for letting me bask in your sun.

  16. Awesome. I too thought to go for a Q/A post when my blog turns 1. Now I need to figure out something else. :P

  17. Mr. Menon, that was a job done well !

    Purba, the Dudette ROCKS!!!

  18. "2G, CWG and Blogger G"

    Blogger G!! :)

    Congratulations on one year of A-musing blogging!!!

  19. That was a good one MenonJi! :-)

    -maxmayurjee :-P

  20. G is in the air...

    Prateek...Hey don't let this stop you, it was Menon's idea anyway.


    IHM...Thank you for your wishes.


  21. Purba ji hats off to you...You rule!

  22. umashankar...Glad you liked Menon's LMAO post.

    Alka...Thanks babe and you rock!

  23. Aur ji. Nice post. Faked narcissism could not have been any more humorous! :D
    Interviewer ki toh laga di aapne, Ji. :D

  24. Does it really sound like you? I suppose you are wittier than that. Anyway, it was a funny read. :D

  25. D2...Madhu Jee and his self deprecating sense of humour.

    Nethra...Well, that's his perception :))

  26. enjoyed the irony well plotted. especially the ji,

  27. That was a wonderful read.absolutely perfect for Purba's blog. Could just imagine and empathise with Menon who was kept tongue tied by the eastern beauty :)

  28. Madhu Jee is now busy fretting about a scam called JPC.

    And Zephyr, he's a good actor :)


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