Monday, February 28, 2011

Time to sex it up.....

Sex talks and how – look how it worked for this write-up.  All of you came looking for a steamy write-up and look what you ended up with! Yet another edition of Jhalmuri Times - Tch tch... But since I didn’t want to disappoint you too much, I decided to keep this three lettered word that makes the world go round as the theme.     

 If you thought only our leaders are a class apart here’s good news for you.  Politicians are the same the world over.  Look what’s happening In Belgium, its leaders still can’t agree on forming a government, even though then went for elections 263 days ago.  Senator Marleen Temmerman has proposed an age old remedy to break this impasse – a sex strike.  No, you don’t strike people with sex, you simply say no to it instead of faking a headache.  Ask any woman and she’ll tell you how effective it is.   In Columbia, girlfriends of gang members held a widely publicized “strike of crossed legs” until their partners gave up violence.  In Naples, women went on a similar strike to protest against notoriously dangerous New Year fireworks display. From Kenya to Turkey, women have protested against political infighting – even lack of running water – and it has always worked wonders. 

Ladies, the future of your country does not lie in your hands, but elsewhere!  But before you start popping champagne and your ego starts inflating, here’s a reality check.  A male passenger travelling by Indigo refused to let the plane to take off, the moment he heard it was piloted by a woman! Marna hai kya? Ghar nahi sambhalta, plane kya sambhalegi!!  And we all know what he WON’T be getting when he gets back home to his wife.

But in India, things don’t always work the way you would want them to.  In fact, a Delhi-based man had to seek court’s intervention to rescue him from his over-sexed wife. He was finally granted divorce on humanitarian grounds.  He couldn’t keep up so he asked for a way out!

I know, most of you must be thinking what an asshole that guy must be!!  She should have been anointed with the title of Savita Bhabhi. Yes, India’s favourite bhabhi, Savita is making a comeback. Bhabhi jee who became an online rage with her unconventional antics is now making her onscreen debut in Sheetalbhabhi.com.  Did I hear a loud yaayy from all the cubs?



TORONTO, ON - SEPTEMBER 12:  Publisher Hugh He...Image by Getty Images via @daylifeNo one’s bhabhi, Kashmera Shah, is also making her unconventional debut. She’s now knocking at ever body’s bathroom doors, especially of the male kind.  Err not with a case of indigestion but as a poster to knock you senseless, or so she thinks.  After posing topless for her yet to be launched calendar (it’s already March!!), the lady is insisting her photos will soon be a must have accessory for every guy’s bathroom. Uhh....sure Kashmera!

And when talking about sex, how can I not mention Hugh Hefner, the architect of every boy’s colourful dreams. According to the 85 year old founder of Playboy, sex is good but it is not the most important thing in his life and he won’t sleep with any other woman without his 24 year old fiancée Crystal Harris’s consent!  Now that’s what I call the epitome of fidelity!
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51 comments:

  1. Interesting...
    dunno if such "STRIKES" would in india!

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  2. haha! Epitome of fidelity, indeed! :P

    And you so don't need to resort to naming your posts strategically so that people come and read. We all love you anyway. (With or without the sex :P) :)

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  3. Hmmmm.......interesting. Sheetalbhabhi did you say. But why did she change her name. And why oh why did you use Savita Bhabhi when I was writing a post which mentions her? Now I have to re-write and re-think the whole article. Unfair.

    I think all the striking ladies should be considered weapons of mass destruction. And about that guy...no comments on him.

    But an FIR was launched against a woman pilot. She went nose first while going down. ;)

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  4. "Did I hear a loud yaayy from all the cubs?"

    Direct attack at one Mr. Snowleopard? Hehe!

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  5. Italian Premier Berlusconi got enough of it at 74...or 78 whatever. If you are a billionare age doesnt matter...Does that mean that headaches are only for husbands?
    Ha, ha...absolutely enjoyed reading it, Purba.

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  6. Hey... I think the men here would prefer the crossed legs strike....they would go spilling their wild oats
    No insult for the Indian women though

    One funny thing is I learnt of Savitha Bhabi only when the issue came up. I searched online and downloaded the entire pdf
    Thanks to you I will look out for Shithal Bhabi too..you are an angel

    Do you know Hugh Herener did a guest appearance in a movie offering advices on real love! Yea just like our BWood
    I think it was 'The Girl Next door'

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  7. Cub? Did you say Cub? :D

    Well.. I can't imagine a sex strike by women in our country. The men might start using physical power to ensure they get what they want. Scary scenario.

    Anyhoo... the Cub.. go roar! (errr.. meow I mean)

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  8. Achuthan...Why not?

    Carpe Diem...He he...nice to know that.

    Snow Leopard...I know, apparently she forged papers for license after failing the test 7 times. She deserves the strictest punishment.

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  9. Kartikay...When did you grow up??

    Alka...I am sick and tired of Berlusconi and his sexcapades. God save Italy and it's women!

    Jon...And what if all the women say no??? And I am looking for my wings, damn where did they go!!

    Pzes...Cub is going red, blue and green. Grrrrr

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  10. And there was Rakhi Sawant was drooling over a babaji in a reality tv show to reveal his true identity of a Pakhandi. She dares to bare it all ;)

    @ Kartikay & Snow leopard- hope you noticed I curbed from commenting on the cub issue’ ;) :) :)

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  11. What's with CUB? I didn't get it.

    And @mazingout is right. If Indian women say no to sex then there will be more rapes.

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  12. Here's an interesting article about Hugh Hefner and his famous Playboy Mansion - his Playmates squeaked.
    Ah well, I live in a State where the ministers get mad when the people get mad at them for "sleeping" with their neighbor's/friend's wives. I mean, what kinda world where you can't even do that! :-P

    I am heading over to Snow Leopard's webspace now.

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  13. Delhizen...I read somewhere she's even giving gyaan on kircket!!!

    Nethra...Let's not get into an argument here.

    Vidya..The playboy aura works for him.
    And I'll be heading off to the link you gave me :)

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  14. ahem - savitabhabhi deserves a google! :-D

    But I like the subtle yet strong satiire that flows through your post.. and the way you link up stories together! You forgot one Mr Tiwari - who says 'whats age got to do with it'

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  15. well not funny though
    but how would Hugh Hefner's stone reads after he kicks the bucket...
    " In peace In silence He achieve heaven while in Action ....RIP"

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  16. with a title like that how cud i not read the article :) he he he he

    Bikram's

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  17. Sheetal bhabhi?? Kashmeera Shah??
    Woooah..

    But sex strike concept was great, though I wonder how much of it works in India, the real India!

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  18. Sex strikes is a gr8 concept...The time is ripe for it to happen in India and you know who should be the poster girl..Savita Bhabhi...Boy that would be something...

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  19. God knows, Purba, this one flew over the cuckoo's nest!

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  20. Mayank...The image of ND Tiwari with his bevy of women at the Raj Bhawan haunts me even today :p

    RK...Yupp one man who never retired hurt!

    Bikramjeet..Worked didn't it?

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  21. S...It's an age old concept. I'm sure women in real India have been resorting to such extreme measures to bring their men in line!

    Perception...LOL..yea double dhamaka!

    umashankar....Hmmmmmm

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  22. Dnt Know what will happen if women goes on with a sex strike in India. But one things for sure, menfolk will sure take the matter in their hands :-)

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  23. Somewhere, people are leaving their pants at home so that they could just win some new clothes at the opening of a designer show room, some feel too hot to wear it in subways... and now its no-sex-agraha (like satyagrah). Yeah, its better than hunger strike or pulling out a full morcha just to be intercepted by the lathis from khakhees, but in case of girlfriends, what if he just said, "Okay cool" and never asked for it again? Maybe he found another one, or took sanyaas?
    I am skeptic in India, as violence is already at its peek.
    And about the old man, well, love is blind, on both sides. :P

    Nice read.

    Cheers,
    Blasphemous Aesthete

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  24. Ha ha...so true..sex is a "tricky territory" so won't say much....but we all love it..don't we? yup! and I hate this Savita Bhabhi...what S..t..

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  25. This one should be included in sex education text books!!!

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  26. That strike is a new concept..That is if you don't count the headaches and "I'm tired"

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  27. "Ladies, the future of your country does not lie in your hands, but elsewhere!" you have sent a great message to all Indian Women!!

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  28. I went up and down in that post and couldn't think of a good comment to put. So I'm just saying... good post.

    Talking about sex is still a taboo in India. I dont know when the kind of empowerment you are talking about will come to us. And women have used the 'sex' tactics to get few things their way since ages. At least we have been hearing that.

    After all have we seen a movie director saying "Pay me 5 lac rupees and you are in my film!" All he needs is 5 hours in bed... or 50 minutes may be?

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  29. Harish...LOL...Pun intended!

    Blasphemous Aesthete...That was some cracker of a comment and what a memory you have. Impressed!

    Sex-agraha ..point noted!

    Indianvalueswevalue....As long as she's not our bhabhi, who cares!

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  30. God Purba, you do come out with the most unexpected of topics to spice up your posts, don't you? But the fun of the posts are in the way to spin the words around them. Pure joy :)

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  31. Giribala...Imagine a chapter in an NCERT book with illustrations? People will be off sex for life :)

    Blue Lotus...Women are smart, they go on a strike and the men don't even come to know.

    joshi....:D

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  32. Mayur....We make a big deal about it.
    After all we are the nation that gave the world, the Kamasutra.

    Zephyr....Punny posts :)) And am I glad that it makes you smile!

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  33. brilliant work again! a lol post on the much maligned act! :)

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  34. offcourse it worked .. seee I am back to read it again ha ha ha ha ha :)

    Bikram's

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  35. So precise in such a small and power packed space. Love it, love it, love it .....

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  36. magiceye...Yea we make a big deal of it.

    Bikram...Hahah

    Rituparna...Aww thanks.

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  37. I seriously don't know what exactly you mean by "CUB".

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  38. Nice way of protesting. peaceful and powerful!!!

    Loved the way you have put it across :)

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  39. Nethra...It's a joke carried forward from a guest post "I am banning you Mrs Ray" :))

    dreamysap....Peaceful?

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  40. hehe. fun read i must tell you

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  41. Like all "innocent" boys, the title did the trick for me ;)

    On a more serious note, very well written. You are steadily climbing the charts in my must-read bloggers list :)
    And I dunno if I should say this...but you really really must shift to a self-hosted wordpress platform to get the most out of blogging...

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  42. Ahhh.... That strike would bring a revolution in India... :D

    Kashmera... I hate that lady... How i wish I could ban her...

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  43. Paulomi....:D

    Amandeep...Ahh I am aware of it- shifting to a self hosted site on WP. But then I am the mistress of procrastination :)

    Tanishka...She's weird!

    Kartikay...LMAO...cul ..pucca

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  44. You are funny. I like. I will come back. :D

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  45. And we all know what he WON’T be getting when he gets back home to his wife.

    :) Good one.

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  46. dhaami & Ashwamedh Kalamanch ...Thanks :)

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  47. Purba!!
    Awesome write up
    :) Now I am going to follow you for sure!!

    BTW first thing I did was searched for KASHs calender onnet and
    psssssssssstttttttttttt it is not there ;)

    aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

    \m/

    Cheers
    Bhupesh

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  48. Bhupesh...Ahh tragic. Best things in life are never free.

    Degant...Thank you

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  49. What can I say; sex sells. Hugh Hefner made millions on it and gets a lot of it too. They go quite hand in hand these days and there are enough women who would not go on 'sex strikes' for those playboys. They'd be moved by their otherworldly charm!

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