Wednesday, April 6, 2011

Bare all tell all

Women sans clothing can work miracles. Why, even the mere promise of such a possibility has brought back a Cup that was eluding us for the last 28 years.  A certain Ms Pandey promised to strip for Team India if it brought home the trophy and look how well it worked.  Sehwag was not too keen so he promptly got out in the second ball of the opening over.  But look how Gambhir, Dhoni and Yuvraj took the bait and sent the Lankans packing to the Island of Serendipity.  Poonam’s dreams are now stuck in red tape and the men in blue are busy looking for a time and place (preferably Paris) where the lady can strip to boost their sporting spirit. 
Ms Pandey

Please don’t smirk at Ms Pandey and dismiss her as yet another publicity seeking hound.  She is the rare one who thinks before she strips and has been catching up on her reading (not the hoi polloi variety like Chetan Bhagat) to give interesting sound bytes.  The lady is now quoting verbatim from the many studies conducted by various universities abroad.  Such performances boost and inspire people to perform better in any field, be it sports or otherwise. Even books on psychology confirm this.  Amen to that.  Does it mean board meetings will have pole dancers now?  Will underperformers now be subjected to a torturous session at a strip club to boost their sagging spirits!  Damn! Shirking was never such fun!

Ms Pandey has company.  There’s another woman who takes the business of stripping rather seriously - meet Sarah White, a New York based therapist who specializes in naked therapy. Feeling down? How about a little nude therapy to perk you up? New York's Ms White is a therapist who has taken the term “baring all” to new heights.  You talk to her and bare your deepest and most personal thoughts and she takes her shirt off.  Such fun!  The therapist with a difference told the New York Daily News that her nude therapy sessions are encouraged to get men – who normally shy away from therapy – to open up.  Err but isn’t it Ms Sarah who’s doing all the opening up?
The Slut Walk

But not all men approve of women wearing too little or nothing at all.  Especially a policeman in far off Toronto who thinks a woman’s provocative dressing is an invitation to rape.  And what a fitting reply he gets.  1 000’s of young women came out on the streets of Toronto to participate in possibly the world’s first ever slut walk.  Condemning the insensitive remark a protester said “the most respectful, powerful woman can be downgraded to nothing because of what she’s wearing”.  Protest organizer Jeanette Janzen further added that the slut walk is aimed to condemn the long held belief that a woman’s way of dressing ‘makes you a target’.  True, a girl bares her legs not because she wants you to gawk at her, for her it is simply a way of asserting her freedom – respect that and don’t ruin it for her by behaving like an animal.

I wonder how Sedighi is reacting to this.  Remember him, the Iranian cleric who said “Women who dress immodestly are capable of increasing earthquakes” and how women came out in droves in cleavage baring dresses to participate in “Boobquake Day”?

Do you think Poonam Pandey may have caused the tectonic plates to do a little jiggy wiggy of their own in sheer joy?  After all most of North India did tremble after the Indo-Nepal border was rocked by a moderate intensity quake, this Monday.  Is BCCI’s dithering tactics just a ploy to save our lives?  Do you think Shiv Sena is threatening her for the sake of quakes?  For a change, the Nation can thank the ever zealous Sainiks for averting a catastrophe.

And I couldn’t miss the irony of Yahoo India’s April 5 headlines....Poonam Pandey says have patience will strip soon placed next to Sai Baba critical. Poonam, please keep your clothes on.

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  1. Grrr....You did it again. I wanted to write about this. Grr.....I am baring my teeth at you. And you took all the punchlines I wanted to use. (Now I am seriously mad)

    Anyway...thats an impressive post. Glad you wrote it. You write better anyway. :)

  2. You read Yahoo news? Woohoooo!! Incidentally, it's full of funny coincidences like the one you mentioned!

    By the way, I'm waiting for Poonam Pandey to sign her first movie deal. Then Paris can go to the dogs :)

  3. gr8 post again...Amazing attention she is getting BTW...the nude therapy definitely seems to be working...remember Larissa of FIFA World Cup 2010?..It did improve the performance of Paraguay...I wish i had taken cricket seriously as a profession...

  4. ha ha...'have patience'...this statement is the cherry on the cake ...a black forest cake ..gone muddy and gooey :)

  5. I bet those sainiks wont mind if she offered them a private strip instead of dedicating it to the Team India and the Indians alike. They are just feeling left out.
    Regarding the therapist, please do suggest her that the vikings up north also need the same therapy, and they might even take less time to open up, if she cooperated. :P
    Earthquakes? they are bound to happen when live bombs and bombshells drop in broad day light. :P

    Blasphemous Aesthete

  6. Well why blame Poonam, everyone is cashing on cricket in the nation be it the MNC's or the bars, Poonam did it too though in a very bold and brave way..Kudos to her for excellent timing if nothing else..

  7. Haha....!

    Well.. Poonam Pandey did strip down to her bikini. This, incidentally, was published in the "Bangalore Times" Supplement. The last pic had a disclaimer of course "This is as far as she goes".

    - Pzes

  8. Lol... for strange reason, women are called the weaker sex when it is that easy to maneuver men :-)

  9. he he hehe How do u know all these events around the globe taking place.. first tell me that .. and how cum i am missing them all ..

    and regarding punam pandey well I saw a few of her fotos I doubt if she has anything to show .. I may be wrong but whats the big deal there are better looking girls CLOTHED.. then what she has I cant understand whats the big deal..

    come ot uk on a friday night you see more SKIN then what pandey has shown so na not interested :)

    and in my job i see much more than i would like too .. :) so such things dont do anything for me .. sorry beign a spoil sport i bet a lot of men would want to though.


  10. Prats...And thank you for the inspiration and the PP obsession :p

    Kartikay...Not wohoooo but Yahoooo. And btw in the movie she will be expected to act.

    SUB...HA cricket for the sake of a certain Ms Pandey?

  11. You were being sarcastic in the first paragraph, right?
    I read somewhere that "she has been admitted to a hospital due to health issues and will not be able to strip." She got what she wanted, publicity. That's why she is in this post.

  12. sangeeta...LOL, I thought it was like phuchka..tangy and spicy.

    Anshul..The Sainiks will drown in their own drool even if they see Ms Pandey with her clothes on.

    Perecption...Her inspired by Larissa Riquelme act made her an instant celebrity.

  13. Pzes...They will hound her out of the country otherwise.

    Giribala...The men feel stronger by branding us as weak.

    Bikram...What do you do btw?

  14. beauty + brainy + kinky :D
    She's got it all.
    Way to go PP.

  15. The prospect was so alluring to Lankans that they let their guard off in the finals. Too bad Poonamji cheated them off their visual pleasure. Kamaal karthe ho Pandeyji...

  16. I'm just thinking out aloud: If Poonam Pandey(PP) worked in my company, wud thr b more reformed performers or voluntary under-performers? :P

    Nevertheless, PP gt wht she ws lukin fr - publicity!!! n loads of it!!

    Guess the whole concept of 'strip 4 a cause' works on the premise of gettin more attention.. n it works so marvellously...remember the PETA strips.. sometimes the animals get cloaked behind all the nudity :P. Even Sarah White n the Sedighi is remembered fr thr stands on this issue... Publicity guaranteed!!!

    And fortunately or unfortunately, I think it just works only with one gender.. I cud puke 2 c men strippin 4 a cause (Ewww!! I mite just junk the cause cos of it :P)

    Nevertheless, PP added a spicy shade of blue fr our men in blue. Whthr our boys cud hv pulled off the win without PP's sartorial contribution is still open 2 debate. I'm sure the Australian, the Lankan n Pakistani cricket boards need 2 take notes :P

    Gud read, Purba:)

  17. Pratul...She's a smart girl even if her antics are far from original:)

    karthick...Ahh she has fans too.

    Harish...I am loving it!

    Raj...A Pamela Anderson strips to say "All animals have same parts" and asks us to ditch meat - it defeats the entire purpose. Guess it grabs eyeballs but wondering how effective it is.

    And if a girl in Pakistan offers to strip, she will be banished to Siberia.

  18. This isn't really about her, such a transparent attempt at notoriety wouldn't normally be given air. It's more about the media's agenda to drag Hindu culture into the gutter by parading an endless stream of crass engineered entities designed to disrupt all notions of normalcy in the gender politic.

    To make pronouncements about stripping in front of a group of men smacks of low self esteem or moral degeneracy. It is not smart, sexy or bold, it is just smut and the men who have their tongues hanging out at the prospect are not representative of modern Indian men any more than she is of her gender.

  19. Trust Purba to turn a bit news into a rib-tickling post! Come to think of it, it does look a bit like the men in blue did it for the carrot :D

  20. I too think she is a smart woman, especially because the possibility of her baring all seem remote!

    Ms Pandey became headline news within a day...I wonder who is handling her PR! Damn good...we need to learn some important business (life?) lessons from her :)

  21. the psychology that poonam capitalized on is true and it works,though can not be genralized ;)(its a human psychology aftet all!). also her 'bare all tell all' act was not a slutty act,but an effort in her own way to boost that 'extra' which may(or maynot) have been useful.
    nice read.

  22. If stripping boost and inspire people to perform better in any field, then why not a board meetings with pole dancers?

    Hillarious article.

    I'm just wondering What we can do to arouse the spirits of our women's cricket team. Should we ask a man a strip? or should I just do it?

  23. gompiepie...Nobody is holding a gun to her head, she is doing it out of her own free will - whether it smacks of low self-esteem, I really cannot comment. It's an arrangement that works both ways - she gets front page coverage and the public gets it's titillation.

    Zephyr...Haha..and the carrot is the talk of the town.

    Siddhartha...She's getting attention - welcome or otherwise.

  24. 4 those who care...She got her spot under the limelight.

    Joshi...LMAO... Joshi in his quarter-mast lungi dancing to Apdi Pode Pode

  25. lol! this was brilliant!

    actually sri lanka lost with the hope of catching ms.pandey in action :)

  26. boob-zooka effect on sri lanka I guess.

    and on Sedighi BOO(b)!! :-l

  27. The last line interestingly summed up the post. A very good one indeed. It is always nice to read you, no doubt. But this one is special. So often people can go hay ware writing on this. But this one from you is special... great!

  28. magiceye...So Sangakara need not step down! They lost willingly.

    Amropali...LOL...Boob-zooka indeed

    Mayur...So glad you liked it :)

  29. No one else could have done justice to the topic...You have said it all with your wit and sarcasm.Absolute riot.
    BCCI and Shiv Sena will have a private show first and then they will install a committee to file a report. Depending on the findings of the committee a Poo Boo show will be organized to raise money for the cash strapped BCCI.

  30. I was expecting an uproar from our moral brigade. But alas, nothing happened! Guess even they wanted her to stick to her words! :)

  31. just wen i was wondering abt how 'baring it all' was related to winning the WC..i read that ms. pandey said " believe me it helps, and motivates people to do better...its been tried and proved in foreign countries" ..eesh!! now my logics and reasonings went for a toss then and there! thnk u so much purba maam for getting them back..a bit of them atleast :P


  32. and she became a trendy topic in Twitter... imagine the power of baring all ... or rather the thought of baring all :P
    jiggy wiggy// ohh yeah :D now we got the reason behind the massive earthquake :P
    awesome post :D

  33. This nude therapy thing is going a bit too far. An Occidental nude therapist may be ok but we have our own culture and we dont have to ape the West for their every shocking and bizarre action. As for Poonam Pandey the whole of India knows it was a publicity gimmick.

    Agree..... "Keep your clothes on"

  34. Nice post! I don't why society still using woman for cheap publicity for thier products. Nudity, sexy poses.. Is that only a woman? This must be changed.

  35. Alka...LMAO...wondering who will chair the PP committee (definitely not Pawar) - his heart won't be able to take it :p

    Priya...She has been getting threats from the Shiv Sena and an obscenity case has been filed against her. Our moral police never disappoints.

    Sarah...Wondering what her reaction would have been had the men in blue lost.

  36. Rajlaskshmi...Every action has an equal reaction :p

    Abha...She is the flavour of the season, this too shall pass.

    Rama ....In this case, it is the woman who is resorting to such gimmicks.

  37. I suppose the prospect of having a woman bare it all did have its perks for the world cup. Pity Larissa Riquelme couldn't incite the Paraguay team to the same end in the FIFA football world cup last year.

    Also, the slutwalk surely had its merits as well. Now at least in Toronto, women may have the freedom to wear what they wish. I wonder what it would have been like in our own country. Shiv Sena, Bajrang Dal would have quite a hornet's nest under them. :D

  38. I am just spell bound at he tactic she has used to bring in publicity. She beats our IIM grads at marketing!!Till yesterday no one even knew about her. And today, the world cup win is synonymous with a certain Ms Pandey.

  39. My friend put it very eloquently on the day of the win... 'Poonam Pandey is ugly. If it were someone like Penelope Cruz I might have given this offer some thought.' :P
    I think this is an insult strong enough to force her to keep her clothes on.

  40. now-a-days we guys have become smart enough to know that people are doing all this for publicity n all(agreed to that)
    this business(stripping n all..) can br done by lot others rite????
    i belief she has got something in her right that made her different or may be popular over night...

  41. D2...Moral police is just a bunch of out of work goons.

    Priya...Sad isn't it?

    Samadrita...And still the men have their tongues hanging out :p

    Suprit...She was at the right time, at the right place and the icing on the cake was - India winning the world cup.

  42. love the way you have strung different new items together to make a point-was very professional.

  43. hey is der nethng for boys kya??? :P

  44. You knwo as a society we are going to go one full circle - form naievety, to complexity and back to simplicity.

    The buzz word is Democracy. Every one has a right to coexist on his or her own terms without us judging him or her as long as it is legal.

    The complexity of this issue is that democracy is the most abused word in India.Please do anything and everything in the name of democracy.

    Finally, with the passage of time, simplicity will force itself back because too much complexity leads to a collapse.

  45. I wish women like Mrs. P have something more inspiring than just their body! Alas, education has not helped us the way it was expected to help. And what does her family say on this?

  46. confusedyuppie....glad you liked it. It's a series I do - Jhalmuri Times.

    Suprit...I wouldn't know.

    Gyanban....That's a very interesting theory. But are we a democracy in the true sense? Where is public participation in governance?

    aativas...She is old enough to decide her rights and wrongs.

  47. i am sincerely hoping your next post to be on Anna Hazare. i have had many people blogging about it in my blog list(and out of it too), i am in particular looking forward to your insight into the matter.

  48. Personally I feel the euphoria is premature. And if I have something unique to add to what has already been said a number of times - trust me I will :))

  49. iam with poonam on this...if every effort is rewarded with something tangible like this, then think of the full potential we men can reach..

    this is constructive...i mean, like in building towers etc..whats the word, i forget.

    btw, cud u pls send me the contact of Sarah White? been feeling a lil down, wudnt mind some perking up

  50. Brilliant post!! poonam has created a more than just a flutter... keep it up gals... better stay bare than live in fear! :)

    This was the first time i visited your blog... will surely b back for more.

  51. Well lady you think and write as if hitting on a nail. Great post. Keep them coming.

  52. Poonam Pandey recently landed in the hospital because of kidney stones.

    Looking at her pics, one wonders if she even has kidneys. I would like to buy her a nice lunch so she can put some meat on those bones.

  53. This comment has been removed by the author.

  54. On second thoughts PP is a very smart girl. Just imagine if she has just said what our starlets say: I have no objection to skin show or smooching or hot scenes if the story demands. ( YAAAWN)

    She claims to dare to bare for 11 virile young Indian men and fires the imagination of other 500 million males ( rest are women in india). See her soon as the next Item girl in a rustic bollywood song.

  55. well, i expected u 2 write smthing about d dhokha jo hamare saath hua(PP didnt keep her promise..hehe), jokes apart, brilliant post, i nvr noticed u concluding smthing wid ur thots, u jst leave ur posts open, dont opine on such posts ツ

  56. HAHAHHAHAHAHAA... jiggy wiggy.... HAHAHHAHAHHAHAHA.... :D

    Poonam Pandey better come up with better excuses now!

    Sarah White seems to be really interesting. I wonder if she would like a female patient just the way she likes the male ones.

    This was such a brilliant post and the pics were hilarious!!

    NICEY!! :D

  57. tch tch bad Purba!!! Here some girl is using well researched and effective technique from the West to help the Men in blue bring back the glory to our country and you speak like this...Where is your patriotism???

    And you said it yourself even the tectonic plates show shifts in their positions on such occasions(the tremors in North India being a case in point) and we are but humans!!!

    In fact, I am planning to start a causes page on FB for the movement to spread. ( My part will be only limited to spreading awareness though ;) )

  58. Why didn't someone else think of nude therapy all these years? Indian team would have brought World cup home little earlier.

  59. tys...A trip to New york is all you need to meet the therapist of your *&^ dreams.

    ruhisonal...So glad you liked it and didn't mind your comment in triplicate either :p

    Prasad...How on earth has a nineteen year old managed stones in her kidney? Beats me!

  60. Hitesh...Nahh I leave the opining bit to the readers :)
    And who am I to pass judgment on others.

    Enchanta...Does any one really care whether she strips or not? We already moved on to bigger and better things.

    dreamysap..You start the cause and I will be the first one to join it.

    Nethra...Haha...better late than never!

  61. The Latest news is she will be appearing as contestant in "Comedy Ka Maha Muqabla " on star plus

    There are a lot of ways to get publicity and she choose this way.
    on the other hand shiv sena and other occasional active groups have got something in their kitty to work on for some time ;).

    Nice info overall :)

  62. I didn't know who Ms Pandey was.Now thanks to the proposition she made,I know her.Somehow I feel there should be a limit to publicity stunts.
    This is why I don't want to be a celebrity,always got to pull such stuff :P

  63. Purba,

    Poor girl. Now everyone is after her. Why not leave her alone and bare it all as she promised with permission of BCCI? May be BCCI would like a trailor first. How do you say Sehwag was not keen? May be he was in a hurry to get best space in the dressing room. LOL.

    Take care

  64. Vivek...Well, she changed her mind at the last minute and has opted for another show.

    Blue Lotus...Stoop to conquer - works wonderfully well.

    Jack...LMAO...Now why didn't I think of that!

  65. Imagine she managed to grab millions of eye balls on to her just by making a statement. Talk about woman power!


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