Wednesday, May 18, 2011

No Country For Old Men.....

Courtesy : TOI
A certain Buddha in Bengal is not smiling.   All the old fogies in Writer’s Building, who spent a lifetime sipping endless cups of chaa and chain-smoking Charminar plains, while rejecting applications for new projects,  are feeling dejected.   Oest Bengal will no longer be a bhillage.   It is ghor kalyug, they murmur – a bhodromohila with a penchant for histrionics and badly in need of sandals has ousted us.  Kee je jontronaa.  All these years we protected Bengal from the clutches of dirty capitalism and now these ungrateful ones are branding us as the new age Mahishashur and Didi as Durga.  Dekhaa jabe, what poriborton she brings. And aren’t we the Bandh specialists!  Cholbe naa....cholbe naa...

The painters have just arrived with gallons of green paint.  Writers building will no longer be red. 

In Chennai, ugly K with too many wives and children with strange names like Alagiri, Dayanidhi, Kanimozhi, Stalin(?) is furiously writing a script for another dud movie.  For the title, he is torn between Aiyyo Amma and Po Po from Poes.  The plot will be simble.  Amma in her cloak is the evil one who flies around the city on her broomstick causing destruction.  The hero, Rajni Anna abducts her and hand delivers her to the Martians.
Courtesy :
J & K are the proverbial Tom and Jerry.  They spend considerable time and energy in masterminding witch hunts and sending each other to jail.  This time K has requested an advance booking at Tihar.  He wants a cell right next to his “prodigal son”.  They will watch G-rated movies together and practise voodoo magic. 

Meanwhile in Kerala, an outgoing octogenarian CM’s dreams of spending his ninth decade in office just got dashed.  But Achu is having the last laugh – the Amul babies went down like nine pins in the Assembly elections.  Only a Mallu knows the true worth of golden oldies.  See even the new CM, Oomen is touching 70. 

The troika of oldies meet at Talli club to drown their sorrows with Bacchus for company.  They peer at each other through their bifocals and exchange notes on medical ailments.  Buddha sighs...I wish I had a sandpit in my backyard, where I could bury my head.  I don’t feel like facing the world anymoreFor the time being I will bury my face in this ashtray.  Ugly K rasps ....I hear Madamjee has invited Amma for tea.  Looking at her girth, do you think she will be happy with just one measly cup of tea?  Buddha in an ominous tone says...Even Dids is on Madam’s speed dial.   Achu shakes his head in exasperation.  With chappal Didi in the east, cloak dagger Amma in South, handbag Behenjee with no Maya in North, Madamjee with Sheila babes in Centre and Tai on her charpai in Rasthrapati Bhawan – this is no country for honourable men like us. 

Buddha suddenly lifts his ash smeared face from the ashtray.  I heard Behenjee ordered a bonfire of revolting farmers in Bhatta-Parsaul in Noida.  Boys let’s organize a bandh and do a Mamata on Maya!  It will be such fun!  Achhu and K glare at him - We’ve already booked tickets to Bangkok to celebrate our well deserved retirement, won’t you be joining us?  Buddha buries his face in the ashtray again. 

Source : My fertile imagination
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  1. Hearty one :) Like someone said .. the East is with Didi, South with Amma, North with Behenji, Centre with Madam! Tolerance is no more, hopefully.

  2. In TN, we dint have a choice. It was like choosing between a Pick-Pocket who steals meager quantities and a daylight robber.
    Call it incumbency or whatever, people are still skeptical about the next few years. Hope it turns out good. :)
    To Didi, Amma - Aigh Fibve!

  3. I was expecting something from your own imagination, but it seems like you have plagiarized from newspapers :-/
    Lol at "Oest Bengal will no longer be a bhillage." Reminds me of Didi's speach as Railway Minister!

  4. LOL......but you were a bit biased. You took more dig at Buddha. Comparatively Achhu and K got it easy. Cholbe naa, cholbe naa :P But lets see what the change in colour will do to Bengal. And K always had it coming.
    Thanks for giving the Prez a name. I was confused on what we could call her. Tai seems fine. But I was thinking more on the lines of "Bai", she did some tea making and cup cleaning if you remember.

    So, now next post on Yeddy and the Governor?

    P.S. Do we still need a Women's Reservation Bill?

  5. "Source : My fertile imagination"

    BRILLIANT!! Woohooooooo! *seeti* *seeti* !

  6. why did you leave out sheila aunty in delhi? this is no country for old is no country for young men either..

  7. Hilarious and nicely put!
    PS:i esp liked - 'source: my fertile imagination' :D, the explicit mention of which was definitly needed.

  8. This comment has been removed by the author.

  9. Ha ha ! This had me laugh out loud. I have two friends from West Bengal and they cant believe that CPM has been ousted out of there ! They keep thinking its all a bad dream and the days of Lal Salaam will come back soon :)They keep shaking their heads and saying cholbe na !

  10. Ambika....So many woman at the helm of matters and we still have a patriarchal mindset.

    Karthick..Amma is no better. Dreading the comeback of her sidekick Sasikala.

    Giribala...I take a pledge to manufacture news, views and previews. Newspapers be damned!!

  11. Prats...LMAO at Bai....should have put her pic in a sari and full sleeved blouse in Goa. She looked smashing.

    Kartikay...Nowadays it's better to clarify :p

    menon...Arre the women need the younger ones! And I added Sheila Devi.

  12. 4 those who care...The P word is the new virus to hit B-town. It's better to clarify.

    Ruchira...Really? and I thought Bengal was looking for a change. CPM has been completely routed in the elections.

  13. The source line was brilliant. You sure know how to slap some one without touching. Typical Virgo.

    Welcome change in Bengal. But I'm not surprised with TN. Look at the last 20 years. Karuna and Jaya have been taking turns at the tollywood box office. What's new there?

    I thought Tamilians were believed to be the most intelligent boys. At least they were good at the schools. Mugging didn't help eh?

  14. Why can't I comment using only name and url?

  15. that was so well put, especially buddha's predicament, which clearly is the state of of many in this nation!! the helplessness...the sham...

  16. Hmm.. women can at least have one laugh .. then probably men will continue to have it :-)

  17. Mayur...TN politics is very caste based and Jaya is as bad.

    I had to make some changes in my comment settings to put a stop to anonymous comments :)

    vaidegi...Good that we have women in positions of power but what is their future agenda. Can women look forward to policies that benefit them? I doubt it very much.

    magiceye....I am thinking Aishwarya :P

    aativas...HA! Mamata enjoys immense support from the women of Bengal. Hoping she will not let them down.

  18. Well talking about girth of Amma and the babes at Delhi had me in splits..

    hope the UPA loose too and for once corruption does the ruling party in.

  19. Oops! I thought I had posted as anonymous....

  20. He he he hehe ha ha ha ha haha
    Fun reading it alll...

    was having a bad day at work this made my day :)


  21. Old men have all the wisdom which the Youth can merit from.
    But when they lose their sanity and get stuck to 'The Chair' dysfunction ally, they drown it all.

    The alternatives are not Saints either, but for a change maybe Rolling would wipe of the moss.. even if a teeny-weeny bit!

    Riveting as always! You Rock!!

  22. Women definitely are being empowered, they are getting so much power that they might even acquire super powers as a result of accumulation. But could Amma ji, Didi ji, Madam Ji, Sheila ji and (I don't know how would we say it, Mr. Lady President? :P) Pratibha ji and every one from the female gamut do what needs to be done? We'll see. Soon.
    Nice post.

    That's one prankster with a big guilt, to come and proclaim having done that with other intention. :P

    Blasphemous Aesthete

  23. ROFL!!! As usual a hilarious post from you dear Purba:) As Tamils, we are in for a witch hunt campaign. To us,its like sandwiched between the devil and the deep sea:P

  24. like the pics choice
    and like the way you narrated it

  25. Perception...If Congress led UPA loses what is the alternative we have?


    Harish :D

    Bikram...Glad it made you smile

    mepretentious...The senior party leaders can mentor the young guns. Unfortunately they'd rather expend their energy in promoting their progeny.

  26. Anshul....A few women in seats of power doesn't translate to empowerment. What has Ms Dixit done for the women in Delhi other than advising them not be adventurous!

    Cloudnine...Like we Northies love saying "Sab saale chor hai"

    sm...glad you liked :)

  27. Ha ha! But hey you weren't serious about Writers' Building being painted green isn't it? That would look horrible!
    Anyway, loved your imagination!

  28. lets hope for a better India with all the new powers coming in seat!! hope the new leaders prove themselves better than the previous govt..

    what i personally believe is..its not about a woman or youth coming into power..who ever remains in it a veteran politician or someone with all his youth blood..or a lady or man in power...its more about the courage they have to realize the true meaning of democracy and work for the better living conditions of the people who elected them to power...

    whichever govt comes in power..lets hope for a better India in the coming decades..where women are empowered...the youth finds better jobs...the poor gets better living conditions...the neglected gets to live a better life...where everyone has the right to live in DIGNITY!!

  29. The Xeno...The Writer's building has indeed turned green....I didn't imagine it :)


    Cindrella..Agree..we need leaders who are concerned about the masses rather than their bank balance.

  30. Know what, Amma, the returning Mummy (Mummy Returns), has promised loads of freebies, including free laptops to school and college students. Whoever rules the state the 'ugly K' or 'Chennai Super Queen' there's no stoppage to the freebies. There are a lot of people asking about applying for Tamil Nadu citizenship!!

  31. Purba,

    Plead guilty of not being here earlier. But that was due to tiredness induced by age, weather and running after granddaughter. How much I missed as it took me so much time to read all pending posts from Just A Matter of Time onwards. Enjoyed each one specially Time one, What Kate says, Parenting and this one. You not only add wit but write with tongue in cheek. Hope you have a good lawyer handy unlike your DUSS MINUTE AC repairwala.

    Take care

  32. I almost was caught - Xeno and me are long lost brothers i think.

    Nonetheless - look what has happened to work Purba, there is indeed lesser and lesser space for men. Women power all over!

    I love the way our elections happen, you are given many rotten apples and asked for choose the best one. You do - you still get a rotten apple only. One tries to throw it back and pick another one in hope.

    During my early days after college, in the land of red, i was constantly bombarded with Hobe Na (as in not happening) ! Wishing WB all the good luck, oh yeah am a bit biased towards West Bengal too - my wife homeland!

  33. Old men or women, we need good leaders, something that we might not get even with this crop of opportunistic politicians, bent upon grinding their respective axes and the common man in the bargain.

  34. great post as always...:-) I hope there is some positive change in WB now...we followed the path of spiritual Buddha ending up emptying our pockets, hope mamata bhora love does some thing different...atleast "ma, mati, manush, muri r machh" will get more money from the center than our ranga matti got...

  35. Joshi...Quite similar to "Mugambo khush hua". Handing freebies like royalty!

    Jack...I am flattered that you took the trouble of going through all my write-ups. Thank you so much.

    Mayank...Your wife is a Bong????

  36. Zephyr...Like Mayank said, the choice is tough. How does one choose when all you see is rotten apples.

    Sub...I am tired of hearing West Bengal is dying. It's time Mamamta changed that.

    Shrinidhi..Thank you :)

  37. Purba,
    The title "No Country for old men" and the line "Oest Bengal will no longer be a bhillage" was the best for me.

  38. Purba - firstly you publish a post and then you withdraw! Not fair, i have been wanting to be the first to comment for so long! hmmph.

    Yea - my wife is a bong! Kya karen all bengali women are so good looking *grins*. Fell for her, can find her on my facebook page.

    Well Love is Blind as you were about to say!

  39. Ahh he has a fiery better half :))

    It seems not many are aware of Arnold Schwarzenegger's romantic liaisons and his proclivity to house maids. Since I wanted the pictures to do all the talking without me having to explain, I deleted the post.

  40. My poor Achu mamma,had big dreams..All in vain..So this time it was girl power in Bengal and TN..

  41. History was created in the east today..!! In south Amma won after a long time..A drastic change came..!! And I think it's for good..:)..You've put it in such a hilarious way! I really hope buddha doesn't read this otherwise he'll bury his head in the ash tray again! :P

    Amazingly written :)

  42. Being a bong I loved the first part. Didi really rocked the communist Dadas with a little help from madam ji. Hope that it helps the state regain some of its old glories.

    TN and God's own country has had a tradition to flip the chair every time. So, I'm not much surprised with that.

    Really enjoyable post.

    One more thing, there seems to be a mistake at- "The plot will be simble".

  43. Blue Lotus...I hope Amma doesn't go on a witch hunt and conducts herself with dignity.

    Amar...At least Buddhadeb Bhattacharya tried but his party's ideologies failed him.

    Err Sarbajit "Simble" is not a typo but a colloquial twist.

  44. "Boys let’s organize a bandh and do a Mamata on Maya!"

    That would be great!!

  45. Purba...hats's pure fun reading ur post....loved every bit of it...Its high time the oldies take a back seat and enjoy the view along the drive...

  46. Adding on to Ambika's post....

    Amma in South,
    Didi in East,
    Behenji in North,
    Aunty in the Capital,
    Madam in the Centre,
    Wife at home!
    The whole country is now ruled by women!

  47. worthy commentators left out the (wild, wild) WEST, which is with MODI! What? that makes no cents?

    of course not, at least not until you're willing to let your fertile imagination picture Modi as a closet transgender. Which he is. I have proof!


  48. Interestingly, we have Didi in the east, Amma in the South, Dadi up north and Madam at the top...(n my fav Katrina rules west :P..sorry, cudn't help it :D)

    Think we shud fight fr reservation fr men ;)

    Nice post, Purba ji :)

  49. Good thing that women power is increasing in India.

  50. Hilarious ,this is the first time I am on to your blogs and it made my day... good work ,shall follow up ,that 's for sure.../This Budha will definitely laugh !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  51. IHM...They will get a taste of each other

    deepa...Mentor the Amul Babies and see India shine

    Rumbaho...There's no escaping a woman :p

  52. Raj...With a skewed sex ratio do you really think men need reservations?

    Blogman ..:))

    Rajesh...Right now Budha is sulking



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