Sunday, July 3, 2011

To Be A Desi Girl

A desi girl is very unlike Priyanka Chopra in Dostana.  She doesn’t shimmy her tiny waist in a diaphanous sari or wear tiny clothes to work.  If she dares to, she knows she will cause a riot.  Instead you will find her in the Metro, assuring her child she’ll be home soon.... as the hard-as-balls executive that everyone is petrified of.... the pampered girl who dreams of Virat Kohli in her dad’s sedan.... the grim looking woman who cycles to work every morning to support her alcoholic husband.  It’s tough to typify a Desi Girl.   

In case you are wondering whether this is yet another rant about what a bad deal it is to be a woman in India – let me assure you it’s not.  Agreed, it’s not easy being a woman, especially in India.  We have to deal with gender bias, violent attitudes that are becoming evident in appalling statistics of infanticide, rape and diverse forms of discrimination - nourishment to education, health, labour and dignity. We read about her in papers, see her in the neighbourhood.  The husband who doesn’t work yet lords over her, her annual pregnancies for the sake of a son.  We feel incensed at the injustice of it, try to knock some sense into her and try to help her as much as we can. 

To be frank, I’ve had a sheltered upbringing.  My parents didn’t mourn my birth; rather they were overjoyed despite my incessant crying that would keep them awake for nights.  Neither did they take me to a clinic in Indore for a sex change surgery.   But I knew my Maa yearned for a son.  You will get married and start a family of your own.  It is the son who carries the family name.  Six years later when my brother was born she let out a sigh of relief. 

Society sets gender stereotypes that we are expected to conform to.  While I played mostly with dolls, my brother played with toy guns.  Despite having parents with a broad outlook, I grew up with Sit properly, have you been beating your brother again, don’t laugh too loudly, your skirt is too short, you argue too much.   I argued that household chores be divided equally between my brother and me.  I fought when I was told I couldn’t go for a movie with my gang of guy-friends.  I didn’t talk to Maa for days.

Even though we had working parents, it was Mom who took care of the family and the house.  Dad did help her with odd jobs, but the responsibility to feed the brood was hers.  We never found it odd when she took the smallest helping of the ice cream cake.  We blatantly presumed that she took pleasure in it.  But she was no Nirupa Roy. When it came to running the house, it was she who called the shots, the one we approached when we needed anything and petrified of when we didn’t do well in exams.
Years later as I run my own household, her influence still lingers on.  When a friend remarked that she unintentionally imitates her mother when she cooks...  from the way her Mom cut the veggies or fruits, to the flavors she added.  So when a woman of the house has such a subtle and strong influence on each member of the family for a lifetime, who needs women’s lib.... I found myself nodding in agreement.
 So is the Indian woman really in need of liberation? By accepting it, are we not conceding that we are but caged animals in need of emancipation?  Many of you may argue that women in rural belts are treated no better than animals. Well, I have seen instances of independent women from lower and uneducated class in small towns like Varanasi, who run their own business, making glass bindis and go door to door to sell them.  Wasn’t it a quarry worker’s daughter who made it to a top law school?  The success of the Milk revolution hinged on the tenacity of the village women in Gujarat.

Emancipation is but a state of mind.  We need to believe that we are strong - that no one can tie us down with expectations, disappointment and greed.  We have to get rid of the poor me mentality. Why accept it when you can fight it? 

Of late, feminist movements have gained momentum in response to insensitive remarks aimed at shaming women flaunting their sexuality. Boobquake, slut walk movements spread like wildfire and sparked off debates word wide.   Indian women joined in too with Reclaiming the Night and Pink Chaddi campaigns.  As Delhi gears up for Besharmi Morcha (a desi version of slut walk), I am surprised by the cynicism that precedes it.  A general criticism being that it does not address the main concerns of the large majority of Indian women, the rural or the urban poor: female foeticide, child marriage, dowry deaths, khap panchayats etc. 

I feel the condemnation is unwarranted – true that the Morcha draws attention to the concerns of only urban women but if a so called empowered class can’t raise its voice, then who can?  As Anil Dharker has so rightly pointed out in Look at the intent not the dress...Women are expected to cover themselves not for their own protection but to protect men.  Protect men from their libidinous nature.  Protect men from themselves. Men, in effect, have conveniently surrendered their responsibility for their own behaviour; taking refuge in the age old logic she asked for it.  Its high time women started refusing to take the blame for the criminal behaviour of men. Look at me, I’m not asking for it. 

It shames me to read that India is the world's fourth most dangerous country for women, sharing disgrace with Afghanistan, Congo, Pakistan and Somalia.  This despite the fact we have a fairly comprehensive range of laws around women's rights.  So why is it that the fairer sex still feels unsafe?  The trouble lies in weak implementation of laws fusing with antiquated customs. 

I am aware that one morcha with women parading in their itsy bitsies and shouting slogans is not enough to change archaic mindsets. But how often do we have women coming together for a feminine cause?  Instead of dismissing it as just another gimmick, why can’t we provide the movement the wholehearted support it deserves?   Isn’t it high time we said enough is enough!  To be able to stand up to that uncouth man who thinks leering at boobs is his birthright…  Strong enough to give him one tight slap…. To be able to stay out late without anxiety stalking my mind….I seek freedom from being judged…I seek freedom from fear.

And it is not women who are in need of emancipation but men who think of the fairer sex as mere playthings to be leered at and groped.  Isn’t it time you grew up?

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  1. "Emancipation is but a state of mind. We need to believe that we are strong - that no one can tie us down with expectations, disappointment and greed. We have to get rid of the poor me mentality. Why accept it when you can fight it? " .....Couldn't agree more.

    It is shameful indeed that we are being counted amongst the worst 4 nations for women. And to think that we go all out worshiping the Goddesses during Navratras and Durga Puja. Hypocrites galore.

    Regarding the Besharmi Morcha. I supported the Pink Chaddhi and other campaigns, but I am not sure about this one. Half of me wants to support it and the other half says it doesn't do much. Still debating with myself.
    But hopefully, things will change.

  2. I am sorry to say this, there is some responsibility women themselves have to take as well...i have heard this so many times that a woman is blessing her daughter in law to have a 'son'...i really hate it when it comes from a woman. i have seen women getting sad because a daughter was born in the family...i understand that they do not want the child to face the same troubles they have faced...but we have to change that..
    In most Indian families a son always gets more privilege than a girl even from the female members of the is that prejudice that we have to fight against...
    As you said, it is the mothers who has more influence on the character of the is the responsibility of the mothers (along with fathers of course)to make the child understand that there is no diff being boy or a girl...we have to stop the inception of that difference in their minds...

    great post as always...


  3. Hi Purba,
    It's a man's world - or is it?
    Loved reading this.

  4. Another great post again! Its time we should be looking at the negative sides and should be giving a supporting hand to the new movement that is coming up..It may not aim at resolving all the problems faced by women, but yea...certainly that might give a kick start to so many more stronger movements that might come up to emancipate women.

    And i agree in 100% to SUB. We ourselves(women) many a times I have seen in most of the households, be it for any reason, discriminate between a boy and a girl! Most Indian families, a son enjoys more privilege than a girl even from the female members of the family! Its high time we should be fighting that prejudice! The change should come about from the root levels. Right from the family!

  5. You know when I was born, my parents honestly expected a baby girl, so I was quite a surprise package wound up in the umbilical cord. No wonder she gave us training in sustaining the house and ourselves when on our own, the training we incessantly procrastinated.
    You are right that a mother has a great influence in the generations that come, and some people also say that sons are close to mothers and daughters to fathers. But then, this dents the reputation of a mother's upbringing when a boy commits crimes like rape or any crime or offense, even a remark.
    Society often says, "iski Ma ne aisa hi sikhaya hoga".
    So yes, we need to look into the matters of who needs emancipation and who doesn't and as you said, women are not only required to keep themselves in check, but also the men and their instincts, and they have the power to do so. So why put it off until they become mothers?

    Educated people are committing crimes, and I am sure this is not what their mothers taught them.

    Nice post Ma'm

    Blasphemous Aesthete

  6. Ah! My mom and dad are working. *Same pinch*
    My mom still asks God why he bestowed her me as a boy when she wanted a cute little girl. At least she'd make her a cup of tea or a glass of water when she returns from office. Also she could give her a good face massage with a little training. Sigh!
    Emancipation is a state of mind; true. But the gender stereotype binds them to think beyond. I hope Indian Society could someday chalk down to a basic conclusion of equality and ditch this riddle gender difference, it is seriously annoying.

  7. You have echoed my sentiments... I was nodding after every sentence I read.....I feel it for all to see. Also in most of my relations, its the girls who are taking care of the parents while the beta bahu are estranged or living abroad. I took care of my dad and am now taking care of my mum as my brother is in the US. Of course with the support of my husband.
    Its a blessing to have a girl.

  8. You have nailed it Purba... So nicely written and I want to share this on my group... Can I?
    I had put a status on my FB of Most DANGEROUS places for women: India ranks 4th!
    A person came back telling "stop giving bad names to India, if you cant do anything, keep quite". This person is supposed to be one of the highly educated woman and I was shocked. I call it pseudo patriotism.

    I feel if I discuss, I can impress on some women I am in touch with atleast and they can give their opinions as well which I take.


  9. Very rightly said Ma'm! Couldn't agree more. It is indeed high time that men started taking responsibility for their own behaviour. Great post :)

  10. Prats...It's because the word "Slut" has a completely different connotation in the Indian lexicon.
    I'd like to believe that it a demand for dignity.

    Sub...I was expecting this line of argument and I happen to agree with you. So let me rephrase it - we need emancipation from pettiness, narrow mindedness, prejudice and bias.

  11. Vikram Karve - The world belongs to both. It's not a battle of sexes :)

    Cindrella...Well said ..Education begins from home and children imbibe values from family elders. So why not be a role model for them?

    Anshul...You echoing Cindrella's point of view and I can't help but agree with you.

    It is not easy to analyze the hows whys of deviant behaviour but upbringing does play a major role.

    1. This comment has been removed by the author.

  12. Prateek...Your Mom has a severely incorrect impression about girls. I never made tea for my Mom neither did I give her a face massage. My younger bro was a better cook than me:)

    Alka...Remember the popular saying - a daughter is a daughter for life and a son till he finds his wife?


  13. Bhawna...But it is the truth? How long can we deny it? And you are most welcome to share the link :)

    Jo...Glad you agree :)

  14. Actually mumma's statement was more like a sarcasm on my laziness. :P

  15. Cracker of a post as always!

    You're right about a mindset that needs to change. The men need to get it deep into their systems, that women are not objects of fantasy, but need to be treated with the respect she deserves.

    Things will improve, with time. The question is how much more time?!

  16. Loved this post Purba, specially these lines,
    "I seek freedom from being judged…I seek freedom from fear"
    Also I feel if Slut Walk creates awareness, debates and discussions and sensitization - then the rural women also benefit, because they too face sexual harassment like urban women do.

  17. Thought provoking post, Purba. I still feel should we support Besharmi Morcha? There are other womens' lib issues aplenty- women in rural areas are much empowered these days than their urban counterparts, i feel. A farm worker can work without being separated from her suckling infant- but what about her counterpart in posh offices in cities? Accepted, we always view the world with a gender bias, but a mere slutwalk won't do much good here, i feel...

  18. Nice write up, Purba!! Let's hope good sense prevail!

  19. Prateek...Ha

    Pzes...We need to drill it into their heads. Rather than ignoring bad behaviour we should tell them this is unacceptable.

    IHM...Thank you... agree when you say sensitization is the need of the hour.

  20. Nivedita...Women lib in India is still in it's nascent stages - let not dampen their cause with preconceived notions.

    Giribala....I am hoping it does.

  21. this one, of all , was terrific!

    so rightly stated that happiness/grief/any emotion lies in how u perceive it...its the state of mind and not the state of situation. agreed, that cirucmstances can bow u down and make you lie prostrate before the more physically enabled but why mourn when you have the might?, why fret when you can fight!

    brilliantly put.

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  23. Being a Desi Girl is a different experience for different women. All are not fortunate enough.

    We need to appreciate the fact that within India the women are divided into so many different types of existence that their needs are different. Sometimes the gap between two types of women (in opportunities, freedom, education etc.) is too wide to be filled up by single activity. So, let there be as many activities as these different groups choose .. ultimately it is 'their' empowerment!

  24. Ambika..Thank you

    A grain of sand...When we crib, when will things change - we should know that the power lies with in us.

    aativas....Empowerment begins with education. That's why I am all praises for Nitish Kumar's ladli scheme.

  25. A very well written post. So agree with the line that men have conveniently surrendered their responsibility for their own behavior. It's them who need an emancipation. I hope for the change.

  26. Lot has been said and written about women emancipation but to squarely lay blame on men's feet is not the solution..
    In case of dowry, more often than not the mother in law is a party, she is a woman.
    In Khap Panchayats diktats too, women of the family are known to have said they had it coming even for their own daughters..
    It is not about men or women or a slut walk but a mentality that women are not weaker in any sense that will help i guess

  27. There is nothing that you have said that can be argued against. Personally am not aware of what the slutwalk is, never got interested enough to read more - understand a bit now from your post. I will doubt what value it adds, though by itself it doesnt harm either. Just a couple of days back one of my lady friends was telling me how she has been travelling in mumbai late in night and has never felt unsafe. Not sure if its the law enforcement or just the cultural thing compared to other parts of the country.

    Good post as always. hard hitting and sharp.

  28. Agree with your statement that we have the power to change ourselves when we want to.

    Aativas has a point when she says that the needs of the women belonging to various strata are different and so need different methods of empowerment. I wonder though if the besharmi morcha will serve any purpose.

  29. Ajay...I'm glad a man agrees :)

    Perception...But it is men who sexually assault women, maim them, torture them..A woman does get judged by the way she dresses. Agree when you say certain women are no better. I have heard lot of them say "she had it coming"...

    As I have mentioned in one of my previous comments - we need emancipation from pettiness, narrow mindedness, prejudice and bias :)

  30. Mayank....It is the mind set I think. I am aware, Mumbai is much safer for women. Tought to decode the hows and whys of it...has a lot to do with our friendly neighbourhood states and their false sense of machismo.

    Zephyr...Every time a woman is a victim, she is lectured on what she should have worn, why was she out so late at night.. (Remember Ms Dixit's comment on Saumya's Vishwanathan's murder)
    A woman has the right to chose what she wears, who she goes out with and none of these can justify violence against her.
    Its high time men started taking responsibility for their actions! Enough of she asked for it.

  31. Hi Purba,
    New here and what a post to begin much I have read about women and what is right n wrong connected to their integrity and dress and what not...that I was bored of the subject when I started...yet your writing and voice has been very strongly and aptly expressed...

    certain stereotypes apparently can't be checked really...I totally agree with what you say...and it takes a whole lot of guts to bring in your own example to prove your point!

    great read!:-)

  32. Yet another brilliant post!!

    "Emancipation is but a state of mind. We need to believe that we are strong - that no one can tie us down with expectations, disappointment and greed. We have to get rid of the poor me mentality. Why accept it when you can fight it?"
    Totally agree but most girls are like baby elephants tied to a rope who are programmed to think they are not strong enough to fight the opposing force and they continue to carry those limiting beliefs throughout their life...

  33. Ours won't be a 'free' country, not unless men are emancipated!

  34. Suruchi...Believe me, I had no intention of writing about this done to death subject. Just because the movement is urbane in concept doesn't mean we dismiss it. The criticism irked me enough to write this piece :)

    Sapna...True, it is convenient for women to believe that are not strong enough to reach out for the sky. Time to let go of the lackadaisical approach.

    Ahimaaz...Time to move on from the patriarchal state of mind.

  35. Like you said, we rarely get to see women coming out to support their own cause. Women are their own enemies.

    But I also agree that men need to grow up. Let me pass on your question to all the men in this world, "why don't you grow up, man"?

  36. You have portrayed your views on the topic very well in your blog. Starting with bollywood was nice because it is one industry which has terribly failed to give proper image to women.. I hated those movies where the heroine would say "Mera sab kuch loot gaya" after rape and commit suicide.

    Long time overdue that people grew up and behaved with maturity..

  37. New Nonentities...Thank you

    Joshi...And now that you have asked this all important question - can I have my answer please?

    Farila...The woman is the victim yet she is made to feel guilty. And thank God they don't make such movies anymore :)

  38. first time here..and also a woman!
    My dad was as much open to his daughters growth as of his sons, my mother didn't agree though!
    It is for us women to teach our daughters and sons without gender prejudices. It is for all men to now seriously 'GROW UP'.

  39. I skimmed through the previous comments and as expected , this post has sparked the much known debate that's happening since times immemorial.

    I am a desi girl and I am totally in league with what Purba says (even if it is treated as my bias, I don't care) .

    Purba, you have brought up facts and we women too need to realize that as long as we treat ourselves as weak, we shall be reciprocated the same treatment from the world.
    "Fear" jeopardizes everything.
    You make me remind a few lines of Rabindranath Tagore in which he says "Where the head is held high and the mind is without fear" I dream of an India where every person (irrespective of his gender, caste, creed,occupation) feels free from the shackles of fear. Liberty, shall then be, understood in its truest sense.

    Good work:)

  40. Dear Purba,

    I find alot of parallel lines running between your post and mine. While you have kept it subtle, I have taken the sour pinch to tell people what it means to be a Real Man! Like people have commented, woman have equal responsibilities or sometimes more in moulding a society of today.

    No matter what have heard and what have seen, I still believe in Real Men. Overall, a well written and showcased post. Am part of the Tangy Tuesdays as well, so good-luck and happy blogging.

    Vasanth Benjamin

  41. Purba,

    I did not leave comment yesterday though I read the post. I wanted to give it a thought. It is a very hard hitting post and you have covered a very wide spectrum. It is not just passing laws or implementing those rigidly but need of the day is to make efforts for change of mindset. Crime against women happens even in so called advanced states. The rate
    is less due to awareness level. Unfortunately God has made not only women but female species to be at the receiving end. Women have proved to be better than men at many tasks, specially at multi-tasking. You have cited examples of women in Varanasi or in Gujrat, there are many such instances. But the fact remains that it is not only equal rights but opportunities too must be give with special care for safety and security. A girl should not be just barred from staying out late if need be but provided adequate safety measures for that. I think I must end here before it beats your post in length.

    Take care

    PS : Reminds me what you said about men ogling, have you read my post titled ???????? written sometime in Oct or Nov last year?

  42. Beautifully written... I like it...

  43. The cynicism is not so unwarranted when a bunch of progressive ladies are ready to give men just what they want - "something to stare at" ... if someone assumes that a majority of men will be humbled and cautioned by the gesture, they are completely underestimating how shallow men can be ... :)

    the battle as you rightly pointed out is suttle and can also be won on quieter terms and the respect that ensues is long-lasting and unreproachable ... I am waiting for that ... throught women employment and education programs ... she will have a mightier hand to slap the face that leers ... ... hope we will have a better rank than #4 !!!

  44. OldFox...Isn't it why they say, educate a woman and you educate a family!

    Prerna...That was one impassioned plea :)
    A lot of us use fear as a clutch, our femininity to extract sympathy. If we believe we are weak, we will always be treated as the weaker sex. The sooner we realize it the better.

    Vasanth...My interest has been piqued :) Will be reading your post soon.

  45. Jack...I am glad you took your time to comment on this one. I feel it has to be a combination of stringent laws, creating awareness and women rejecting such behaviour that will finally bring about a change.

    Sorry I missed that post, will be reading it soon :)

    NNNiiiXXX...Glad you do

    flawsophy...LOL..are you indicating men need more that just a slap?

  46. In a country with amma in the south, behenji in the north, didi in the east and madam ruling the roost, i think it is unfair to blame men for the plight the women seem to find themselves in..
    In my own household, i feel terribly outnumbered by the female of the species, but totally relish their company and love..i am proud of my daughters and DO NOT wish i had a son.
    You think i am emancipated, or am I making the best of what i have had to deal with? Either way I am happy, but unhappy for women who feel they have to fight for what is already stare and what? thats not a crime..that is just a way to say thank you women for being a woman..

  47. a fresh & inspiring take on woman emancipation.................u have got the spunk lady!!

  48. Menon...Had there been more men like you, India wouldn't have earned this dubious distinction.

    And Madhu women are smart enough to figure out men and their intent, so you really don't have to worry.

    nivi...Aww thanks!

  49. I read this post earlier but didn't comment. But I did +1 it. This goes without saying, but one of your most powerful posts till date Purba di. Absolutely deserved the Tangy pick!

  50. There is no denying that in most cases the woman is the victim- however there is an increasing trend of men being harrassed.Very little has been ever written about the pressure men go through right throughout their lives - from cradle to the grave.

  51. Purba, I follow your blog and I was wondering how did I not get this one in my inbox. Nevertheless I am a big fan of your writing and thoughts. Read it, Loved it and enjoyed it to the fullest.

  52. Sam...Thanks and I was actually waiting for you to comment :)

    Gyanban..I am sure they are - in fact I remember reading about a Peedhit Mard forum.

    rourkelatoraleighlane...I have no idea why! Blogger and its glitches..

  53. What an amazing read I got here. However, the trend is now changing quite fast- the desis are transforming into professionals, rather an all round professional. Even after holding the seat of Home Minister in their homes they stand as true professionals in the society.

  54. very well bombarded for a cause.
    there are rogues and rougins everywhere, need of the hour is to serve them properly and show them what hell is.wrongdoers of any creed should never be tolerated at all.
    well written.

  55. Nice post!

  56. This is a wonderful piece you have written here. I was pointed towards you blog by Zephyr and I have to agree with her opinion of your blog.


    Will be following your blog. :o)

  57. Does doing a 'besharmi morcha' or joining the 'pink chaddhi campaign' empower women???It disgusts me.
    Yes definitely women have a certain role to play in society but in this 'battle for recognition' we are losing all balance today.We are becoming brash, using filthy language and behaving atrociously.Definitely dressing with certain code according to time and place is necessary.This is a 'new fashion statement' that one should be able to dress as one chooses.Living in a society with differently educated and varying evolved mind-sets definitely sets for us certain rules of decorum according to the culture of the country.Freedom entails responsibilty. There are certain unsaid rules when we live in society which we should not break.We cannot compete with western societies or we will cause chaos and havoc.We have to live in harmony with our people and our culture.We are already speaking a foreign language and are behaving and talking like foreigners.Where is our cultural identity???
    Women are empowered from birth but this realization has to dawn.I grew up in a family where we had no gender bias.No one stopped me from doing anything but we knew where to draw the line.Are we not crossing all borders in the name of women's freedom and women's liberation.
    Time,right education and maturity will hopefully change such injustices on women.Women are their own enemies-they perpetuate 'injustices' due to certain qualities of their sex.
    Fighting for rights like here in the west has not solved problems.They still exist and despite all this hype of women's lib come and see for your own selves and decide.Men and women are equal and also unequal due to certain inherent qualities of physical make-up. We women cannot deny having our own innate strengths and also our weaknesses.Proper laws and their enforcement and above all social and societal consciousness to inculcate conscious right behavior will help.But remember we are all human and no society has ever been perfect.Having said this it does not absolve each person from being what he/she should be!!!
    Every person whether man/woman has the right to be respected and also the duty to respect.In the end we have to earn respect!!!

  58. Very good article... I'm in agreement with what you said but I also need to add that women need to take some responsibility also. Many women tend to always act aloof and stuck up to fend off the perverts, but in turn end up scaring away the good guys in the process too. In fact, I'd go as far as to say that SOCIETY needs to take responsibility overall.

    As for the lecherous nature of Indian men... well, that's mainly because Indian culture is an overly conservative one that teaches us to inhibit and suppress our desires, which only makes it come out in unhealthy ways when we're older.

    Maybe it's time for a revamp of our culture!

  59. i dont mean to spam, but here's a guys take on it..
    the reason being its in stark contrast to your post somehow.. might even seem immature in some ways, but well.. its a honest opinion

  60. To answer your final question, men need education starting from kindergarten onwards, and yes, it is women who need to ensure that happens.
    The growing up will take some time, provided the aforementioned education takes place :D
    Great blog you have. Congrats.

  61. This is a good article. I totally agree with this. I really hate gender bias, it's the same as descrimination and it violates are rights and sometimes loss our dignity as a women. I do believe it is time for us women to refuse on taking the blame for the behaviour of men. We have to get rid of the crab mentality that women are weak and just a disappointment in the family, it's time stand for our rights.
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  62. the whole cycle of women's disempowerment starts at parenting with mothers and fathers sending the wrong messages not only in what they tell their kids but with how they live their lives. unless we are able to walk the talk consistently, no amount of intellectual 'emancipation' will be able to break the self talk that both genders carry about equality.

  63. Lovely post Purba...sometimes the thought lingers in evry1's mind but then someone puts in the right words and we r left nodding!

  64. Men and women are not equal in any way. they have been discriminated by nature. both have their own strengths and weakness. when it comes to intelligence, can not be sure who is stronger but when it comes to emotion, certainly, women is looser. here men always beat women.

    when it comes to patience & endure, men are looser and this is where women beat men.

    both are stronger at different things.

    Now about your post...
    women is more perfect at home-management(washing, cleaning, cooking, feeding etc.) and its her strength. So in my opinion, one has to go with those sphere, where his strength would be materialized.

    women is excellent at service. that's where her strength get materialized.

    women has proved her metal at service, first at home, now through the corporate world like air hostess, nurse, receptionist and tele callers...

    so women is born to serve, she knew how to please others. that is her strength.



Psst... let me know what you are thinking.


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