Friday, September 23, 2011

Amar’s Charitra Kathaa

Amar Prem

AIIMS, India’s premier medical institute has never tired of playing the magnanimous host to dengue spreading mosquitoes and crooked men of power claiming illness and memory loss - after all Atithi Devo Bhava.  A few days back this last resort for the sick was witness to an unusual spectacle – a re-enactment of the Ram-Bharat milap. No, not Ram Gopal Varma and Manoj Kumar meeting for coffee but Amar Sing’s tearful reunion with Bade Bhaiyya B(B3).  

When B3 strode in to enquire about Chote Bhiayya’s (CB ) tantrumy kidneys, CB’s joy knew no bounds. The moment his pug shaped nose picked up the all too familiar scent of Big B he started bawling like a baby.  In fact there was so much water in him that it came out gushing not only from his eyes but his nose as well.  So choked with emotion was Amar Sing that Bade Bhaiyya B had to growl in all his earnestness Yeh haath mujhe dede Thakur.  He held weepy CB’s hand for full two hours and had the hospital staff gush about this one of a kind Amar Prem. Not the Prem Chopra wallah prem ok? 

Of late the erstwhile Thakur of Azamgarh has been through a lot of emotional turmoil.  He, the savior of vote seeking, MP purchasing, wheeling dealing specimens has been unceremoniously discarded like yesterday’s tissue by these ignoble creatures.  To add salt to his injured heart, he was dumped in jail for a crime unusual.  While his illustrious neighbours, Madhu Koda and Lalit Bhanot were enjoying Tihar’s hospitality for their money grabbing ways, Amar Sing was made to cool his heels for disbursing cash to greedy MPs.   But Azamgargh ke Thakur is not the type to take things lying down. Once inside Tihar’s hallowed precincts, he managed to get on everyone’s nerves with his persistent whining about the lack of cleanliness and hygiene.  Two undertrials who had been tried for rape and mayhem were made to go on their knees with an extra large mop for Amar’s sake.  From dreaded Bhais to bais in ten minutes flat. 

The traumatized Jail authorities even offered a western style commode to facilitate Amar’s privileged motion



Before CB could cause further psychological trauma to jail officials with his relentless nakhras and natak bazi, he was speedily dispatched to AIIMS. 

As Amar wipes his runny nose on Bade Bhaiyya’s B well manicured hands he can’t help but thank Jaya who prefers Prada, mentally.   After all it was her iconic If the Thakur sings, all you old fogies will be running faster than Milkha Singh, that had struck a jarring note with the high and mighty.  After all it was her crorepati question “The big celebrities whom he helped, he fought to get them land...the famous people, where are they?”  that had B3 hopping on to the next chartered flight to Delhi. 

What puzzles me is how Big B, who till a few months was shouting Budha Hoga Tera Baap from rooftops,  could suffer a memory lapse so great!  I mean could he possibly forget his chaddi buddy whose smiling visage followed him wherever he went, just like the Hutch puppy.  The permanent attachment to the sukhi Bachhan parivar- Amar Sing.  Whatever happened to Yeh dosti hum nahin bhoolenege?  

But as part of the voyeuristic junta, who loves controversy as long as someone else is the victim – I would certainly love to hear Amar Sing, sing.  The anguished alaap and the terrified tarana that will follow will be a music connoisseur’s symphony come true.  And I wouldn’t mind Bade Bhaiya B lending his famous baritone to this one of a kind jugalbandi.  

Amar Jee sing naa, Jaya Prada is waiting with her daflee.



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49 comments:

  1. I was worried that the over joyous Amar ji will automatically get all kidney failure. Whoa!

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  2. Hahaha i have heard that jaya prada call...sheer nonsense :-) and i wonder if amar singh was given tissues to wipe the prestigious motion...

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  4. Its just Amar prem.. forever and ever.

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  5. real amazing pointers. combinations too daring and marvelous. especially the dafali of jayaprada.

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  6. The Jaya Prada weeping scene was hilariously shocking for me. Its becoming an AMAR PREM KI ROTLU JAYA...ok tht was bogus but u got my point.

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  7. abhi thehro.. Interval hua hai .. film to abhi baaki hai :)

    aage aage dekho hota hai kya ..

    but loved the way you explained it all hmmm IF only ...

    amar prem ki gazab kahani :)

    Bikram's

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  8. Aren't you too wicked with words, now? My maid came running to see what had set off my guffawing. Privileged motion, indeed! What would we poor mortals do were it not for your exclusives on such 'reunions'?

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  9. No one likes to befriend a political pariah. Their so called friends are only fair weathercocks. Like always a nice read.

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  10. Daflee wale!!!!chottee bhayia badi AIIMS karte the life mein par sab chaknachur ho gaya.......hillarious,class apart effort!!!!luv your blog....keep the gud stuff coming lady!

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  11. Amar Singh, I feel sorry for the chap. He gets to bear the brunt of all catastrophes without being too much responsible for causing it. Take the cash for votes scam for example, and Big B is a selfish person to the core to have used him in times of his own need and then thrown him away just like that.
    I have more sympathy for him than those jailed telecom company executives.

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  12. Jayaprada weeps for Amar was the funniest news I read on paper this month, lol! But naheeeee.. Amar pls don't sing sing sing :D

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  13. pretentious. masked. shady. but yes some wonderful ingrediants for mockery and the charitra kathas :D, which off course they truly deserve!

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  15. ROFL.....very funny!!! Enjoyed reading :D

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  16. No wonder Amar Singh's drama escapades had to bear fruit. Maybe that is why Ash came into the world. A fruit of his devotion to drama.

    But he did not stop there, and went on to surpass himself and surprisingly, his performance seems to touch its peak when he's around that 5 star tihar with lot of iron bars.
    He needed a great actor in alliance, and hence scape goat was the beloved Big B.

    Nice post.

    Cheers,
    Blasphemous Aesthete

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  17. The title is a killer, as I said elsewhere, and you have continued in the same vein in the rest of the post. If Amar Singh is the eternal clown, PRADA Didi and Bada Bhiaya have joined them to complete the circus!
    Brilliant, as ever.

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  18. Just when one is reconciling to one of your gaffs, you doll out another bout of laughter..... Lady, your writing is on a roll....keep it that way. have doodled amar chacha in one of my posts of yore, you just served the second subject to me....

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  19. Delightful as always!Doesn't this jodi remind you of B3 and Govinda.....Bade Miyaan toh Bade Miyaan..Chhote Miyaan Subhaan Allah(singing aloud):D:D

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  20. whoa..so much drama in this post..no wonder it suited the theme of Amar singh n his prem:-)

    and that line got me in guffaws-from dreaded bhais to bais in ten minutes flat...lol!

    loved the article and thank god this time i was not largely unaware of what political matter is being ridiculed here:-)you made me more generally aware...so thank you ji:-)

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  21. Loved it.....hope big B reads it on blogadda!

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  22. Hilarious Title with matching Katha! Got me into splits.

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  23. Prateek..Guess his kidneys are more sensible than him.

    Chintan.....Baby soft wipes especially for Amar jee.

    magiceye..Glad

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  24. Pzes...Jaise ki chanda ki chandni...suraj ki roshni...:p

    Pramod...Its all about daring and caring...

    Red Handed...But what an odd couple!

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  25. Bikram...LOL @ Amaar prem ki ghazab kahani.

    Zephyr...And I am glad that I made you chuckle <3

    Rahul...Use and throw mentality of the political class.

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  26. Nivi...Loved how you played around with AIIMS. Now, why didn't I think of that!

    Samadrita...Hmm...he certainly doesn't have my sympathy and I know he will weasel his way out of this sticky mess.

    Ambika...Sing, Sing, Sing, Sing,....Everybody start to Sing
    Now you're singing with a swing ~~~

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  27. Giribala....:D

    Anshul...Btw a hybrid variety of Mango does go by the name of Aishwarya :D

    Umashankar...I read somewhere that he has even acted in a Bengali movie. The man has myriad interests.

    And thank you so much.

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  28. the mind behind the mindless lampoons... Amar is too juicy to let go of. And looking forward to your delightful artistic interpretation.

    Sub...:)

    Sharmila...Wah...wah...And Jaya as Madhuri Dixit singing makhanaa...oye makhnaa?

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  29. Suruchi...Hehe...Guess once a teacher always a teacher.

    Shri Ram Ayyangar...He will scold me :(

    Saras...Muchos gracias.

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  30. Purba,At the dual cost of repetition and hot linking the amar singh root to the Big B.. http://mindlesslampoons.blogspot.com/2011/07/dark-ringmaster-amar-singh.html

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  31. The traumatized Jail authorities even offered a western style commode to facilitate Amar’s privileged motion.

    Wicked!!

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  32. "western commode for privileged motion". :)

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  33. the mind behind the mindless lampoons said..Great! will take a look at it :)

    Rahul....Very :D

    Nona....Geez! All you guys noticed was the privileged motion line!

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  34. Funny, purbical post;) You had me in splits on that Prada Daflee thing!!! Awesome:P

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  35. hee hee perfect end- jaya prada with her daflee.

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  36. Very well written. I don't understand how the Court gave in to his request for bail. Everyone could see how unreal was claim of ill health. And then this Jayaprada episode, Big B's visit....I think all these things have to be ignored with contempt.

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  37. Cloud nine..LOL @ Purbical.

    Sush...She should stick to her daflee and stay away from needless theatrics.

    Hariharan...Our Political class excels at fictitious ailments.

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  38. Hahahahaha....
    and again hahahahaha...you make all these boring newspaper articles so damn interesting!

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  39. and I like Jaya Prada too, she is adding all the filmy masala to the story! I look forward to more fun from that end :)

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  40. I love the Title. Took me back to my Tinkle reading days. :-) And your post. Wah. Kya baat hai. I can't stop smiling.

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  41. Hey Purba first time here and i am glad this is the first post am reading.. totally enjoyed it :) :)

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  42. Siddhartha...But newspaper articles are hilarious especially when they cover the antics of our entertaining netas.

    Peenuts...Thanks

    Zeba...Glad you liked

    Sukupedia...Aww and thanks for your comments.

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  43. The traumatized Jail authorities even offered a western style commode to facilitate Amar’s privileged motion. ...Killer line Purba and also the last line...Prada and her daphlee.
    I was smiling throughout.

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  44. The pugs of the world have taken offense over your remark comparing their noses to Amar's or vice versa. A demonstration outside your house, burning of your effigies and boycott of your blog has been announced.

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  45. I really hate corrupt people, they are so greedy and still not contented in enjoying the money they grab. I felt sorry to Amar, he bears all the consequences without being responsible and being used by the corrupt people in times they need him.

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