Two tight slaps!

I will refrain from expressing angst against Kapil Saiborg’s attempts to be a giant broom that is out to clean the filth that floats on the World Wide Web.  No, not porn, not morphed images of celebrities on nude bodies, not fundamentalist propaganda, not the step by step guide on how- to- kill- your- neighbor- in- 10 –minutes- flat… but material deemed objectionable against politicians and religious communities.  I suspect God was added as an afterthought to lend credence to his indignation. It is another matter that Saiborg ended up giving publicity to all that he wanted to hide.  Within minutes the whole world hit the Google button to search for Sonia Gandhi and MMS and what made Saiborg angry!

I will applaud the chivalry in him that wants to protect the lady and her minions from the vitriol spewed by the nameless and the faceless.  Offending images that we are quick to dismiss as juvenile attempts at humour, but our polity looses sleep on.  I am surprised.  All along I was under the impression that being thick-skinned is a must-have quality to be a politician.  

Saiborg has a dream – he dreams of a Utopian world of subjects modeled after Gandhi’s monkeys –deaf, dumb and blind to all things disagreeable.  An Indiayeah of yes-men.  It’s great that you are dying to play the strict school principal out to discipline his errant students.   Three cheers for Kapil, the self-appointed crusader for model behaviour.  Bur Sir, if you expect us to shut up and behave, we have similar expectations from you as well.

One has to watch a live telecast of Lok Sabha proceedings to understand what I am talking about.  Members of the assembly throwing paper balls at the speaker, jumping enthusiastically over benches to express their anguish, hurling their footwear at each other.  My heart swells in pride when I see people who we elected to lead our country behave like a bunch of adults who forgot to grow up; who think protesting is their birthright and contributing to public life is a mere formality that is not to be taken seriously.  

Your esteemed colleagues lack basic etiquettes and all Meira Kumar can say is “Shant rahiye, baith jaiye”..?  The school teacher in me is itching to give them two tight slaps!

The Opposition’s hysterical reaction to FDI in retail was like the icing on the cake.  We saw our elected argue, counter argue and disrupt the Parliament for six consecutive days.  That these international chains with refrigerated transport and cold storages could stop farm produce from rotting, and might have benefited the farmers was of no consequence to anyone.  We will continue paying Rs 13 for a kilo of potatoes that the farmer sells for 3 and the rest will line a slimy middleman’s pocket.  And the middleman in turn keeps the local neta happy.  Yet, we were made to believe that all our economy needs is a Walmart to collapse.  The GDP can head south, industrial growth can go underground but we need to prove our point.  

To make it worse Sushma Swaraj has the temerity to suggest that by making the government rollback FDI, she made them bow to the people’s wishes? Excuse me! Nobody even bothered to ask us.

Ironically when Delhi’s High Court was rocked by bomb blasts, Advani jee requested that the house be adjourned early. Why? Because they wanted to mourn at leisure.  Strange isn’t it? When the members of the house should have worked overtime and tried to arrive at a cohesive solution to tackle terror, they chose to take a half day instead!  Isn’t it a classic case of misplaced priorities? 

I don’t think we are unjustified in demanding an exemplary behaviour from our elected.  Leaders after all are expected to lead by example, so why not have a code of conduct for them as well?  And if you have the liberty to tell us how to feel and what to write, we can expect some modicum of decency from you as well. 

Before we proceed let’s get one thing straight – you were elected to serve the public and not rule over them.  So as public servants when you plot, plan, defame, protest instead of doing your job – we have all the right to feel incensed.  As employees if we can be subjected to appraisal through Annual reviews and confidential reports, then by the same logic we should be allowed to scrutinize your performance as well.  

We do not have enough good schools and colleges, our grains rot in granaries while prices shoot through the roof, files collect dust in some babu’s office – so it’s logical for me to feel dissatisfied and demand accountability.  I hope you do not expect us to sit back and burp in satisfaction instead! When millions of people show as much respect as electing you to be the MP of the largest democracy in the world, the least we can expect is honesty and sincerity at your end.  Is this too much to ask?

I am given to understand that you made an impassioned speech and asked your fellow Parliamentarians to refrain from obstructing proceedings.  “It is our job to work, we get paid for it. It is not just issue of money, it is an issue of public service.”  So how about translating all these empty words into reality?  How about implementing no work, no pay legislation if minimum business is not transacted!  Why is it when comes to us, laws are framed instantly while your fraternity continues to steal from public coffers, shirk work, create controversies with impunity?  

So don’t tell me that you’ll happily go around denying me my rights as a citizen while I am expected to wait patiently for change.  And if you are in such a hurry to clean the world to heal your wounds, I can certainly help you out.  NASA has just discovered Earth’s twin, located merely 600 hundred light years away.  A cozy little planet with No FB, No Twitter, No online hate, No Anna and his bunch of loonies - just like the Utopian existence you are so desperately seeking.  Why don’t you and your colleagues shift bag and baggage to the mystical Kepler -22b?  Trust me; no one will miss you even for a second. 

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  1. I always wanted to be first! Now, me reading :D

  2. Purba, a self obsessed me bows with respect and says, I couldn't have done justice to this topic and am glad, I did not write on this.... :)

    Class Apart!


  3. Luv th title of th blog..

    "Before we proceed let’s get one thing straight – you were elected to serve the public and not rule over them. So as public servants when you plot, plan, defame, protest instead of doing your job – we have all the right to feel incensed. As employees if we can be subjected to appraisal through Annual reviews and confidential reports, then by the same logic we should be allowed to scrutinize your performance as well. " - Agree..:D

  4. Somebody please make the concerned party read this!!

  5. If you talk to people who are on the receiving end they will give you a different perspective. In reality, what happens versus what we get to know have a gaping hole in between.

  6. Loved it! Definitely one of your BEST!!

  7. Hey there,
    a very well written and sharp post. wierd shit going on with the babus, u dont come out of one controversy and the other is staring you in the face. theres hardly any civilised debate that goes on. And censoring the internet, man Sibal really mustve been on some bad quality dope to even suggest that:P
    i LOLed at your last para, packing them off to Kepler 22b:P:P killer. Blogrolling!
    take care

  8. Amazing combo of clarity of thoughts and fluidity of the written word!Kya baat..kya baat..kyaaa baaat!!*bows*

  9. *applause* Take a bow.
    That we have to even think on the lines of "so why not have a code of conduct for them as well?" which implies that they do not have one, says a whole lot.

  10. Al that I can say is that I AGREE :):)

    you are a great writer :)

  11. Chintan...I so badly wanted to write about the FDI issue but refrained. This was my excuse to rant about it :) And thank you so much..

    Raghu...I would love to write the performance report of my local MLA

    PeeVee...Yea right and it will be in that god forsaken planet.

  12. GB...The wise man speaketh :)
    Of course we all have justifications and none of us can claim to know the complete truth.

    Abha...Thank you so much.

    TD23...And he's claiming some of these posts are blasphemous enough to incite riots? Give me one instance please.

    And thanks for blogrolling me.

  13. Sharmila...Relieved..I didn't want it to come across as one long rant.

    Shail...A bunch of power hungry individuals dictating terms to us!!

    So glad you liked :)

    Purvi...<3 <3 <3

  14. I hope a movement starts against that stringed donkey. Saiborg. Nice one there.
    When, when will they learn that it's the law they need to uphold, not their stupid trivial sentiments.
    Nice post, Di. Frankly, I'm too pissed at the man to laugh at the excellent humour.

  15. :) All animals are equal but pigs are more equal than other animals. But only two? The Congress should start a reality show titled "The Biggest Sychophant". Next he will sensor the small talk at coffee bars. Acting like some Pharoah with a divine right to rule. Oh, by the by the FDI protest was against the fact that the politicians will loose their cut. And....why do you want to destroy the new planet? Send them to....Pluto.

  16. Looks like the top echelons of the Congress finally managed to see the Manmohan Singham video. what they saw, they certainly didn't like!

  17. D2...They have the right to be touchy and sentimental and we are expected to be well behaved robots.

    Snow...Put them all in the Big Boss house I say!

    Pzes...It was such a funny video! They need to be mature enough to laugh at it rather than bristle with indignation.

  18. as i said on another blog start of TALIBAN era in our country ..

    it is in our mentality we will not do something or work so hard in something that will be for the benefit of our country .. but we will talk like a IDIOT in front of cameras for out dear lady leader :)

    very well put and excellent


  19. The last para seems like a dream..I wish they are all transported to the new planet asap...
    Brilliant piece.

  20. Loved the post! Sibal is an idiot, a sycophant and an ass licker to madam. No one is buying his brainless crap about religion that he inserted to prevent backlash. Well, if he and his bosses have no sense of humor then it is too bad. This is a desperate attempt to redeem the already horribly low image that this government has in public by stifling or censoring public voice. An atrocious attempt, I'd say. Gadhe hain sarey!

  21. Bikram...This is definitely not a good phase for our country.

    Alka....We"ll all be better off without them and thank you :)

    Rachna...How about doing what you are expected to do? And the Opposition is no better - if the government wants to take two steps forward, they will push them back by three.

  22. This is brilliant Purba...and I am with you on everything you wrote above.

    I wish I could do more to promote, but this straightaway becomes my tweet!

  23. This is the kind of anger & passion that is required to turn around this country.
    Bravo ! ! !

  24. You have made such a valid point in quite a brilliant way. All of us have this frustration about the way our leaders conduct themselves. Great article..

  25. So for me, the glaring question is this: If you deliberately touch a hot stove and get burned, whom do you blame? Yourself, or the stove?

    Similarly, no one is ever forced to visit a website. And if they accidentally arrive on one, they can leave it ASAP. No one forces another to read "blasphemous material" or an article. Whoever does so CHOOSES to do so.

    My blog is my house. My private house into which which I invite people to enter. No one enters by accident. I get to decide what's acceptable on it.

    Not Kapil Sibal.

  26. it's all about diverting from reality and the issues that matter ... what impact does controlling a few jokes have on the welfare of the nation ... but they do it to divert from the ordeal of taking a stand on something relevant and being criticized for it. They'd rather be criticized for an opinion on something unnecessary like internet regulation ...

    you should watch this movie called "wag the dog" ... it parodies how political process is about diverting the conversation in the media.

  27. Siddhartha...Thank you for promoting it :)

    Rituparna...I have started relating to Harvinder Singh :(

    Rahul...More so because they do absolutely nothing to change their ways.

  28. Bhagwad...And most of them are juvenile outpourings! Why add credence by trying to censor it.

    Beautiful comment btw.

    flawsophy...I couldn't agree more. There are so many issues that have been languishing on the backburner ,why not tackle them instead!

    Will look for the movie.

  29. Hmm...Purba is angry!!! I am going to hide!!!

  30. I don't believe that Cripple Siborg can do much good to ladies. I wouldn't trust him with a plastic doll! Good that you mention that high altar of democracy that has been debauched by the deranged monkeys. But no, I shouldn't be abusive to monkeys....

    You already know how I feel about Meira Kumar. Now where on earth did that Braveheart Sardar disappear?

    Incidentally, are you hiding insane income tax dues?

  31. Dear Purba, take a bow. This is sensational, soul-stirring stuff! You made your points briefly, succinctly and with so much concentrated vitriol that it will burn out the arrogance out of the eyes of our netas if they read your post.
    Tell you what, you should be a journalist. Then I can say that there's at least one journalist whose writing doesn't lack spirit.

  32. boy that was right on, i seriously hate this man.wonder if these guys even read papers. we cant get bookings but these guys travel 1st class, take home salary of 80001 because IAS are paid 80k.

  33. "An Indiayeah of yes-men."....:D

    they should perhaps shift their bags out side the milky way..

    awesome post!

  34. The situations instantly reminds me of the novel 1984. Acting like BIG BROTHER, the bunch of jokers.

    Its very hard to imagine how these people came to behave the way they behave. They were definitely not born dumb or corrupt or were they?

    That said, I thorough enjoyed reading the post. Fantastic! :)

  35. Only a Purba could have done justice to this subject. she has and how! Loved the whiplash stuff. Methinks that the minions come up with new stuff every few days to make it look as if they are working and give some of them TV footage while the channels get a new topic to flog to death. We should put them all in a balloon and send them to the new planet. It will float away -- they are all so filled with hot air!

  36. Nice Writeup...! I also dont approve of the Govt's idea of putting restrictions on the blog world and content,but having said that, at the same time, there has to be some means of restricting this freely circulating chain of photographs and hate write-ups... ! one of the main photos in question here was an image of pigs running through the Jama Masjid and it was objectionable.. leave the logic of Kapil Sibal aside, or the idea that they are gonna take a pre-emptive action action the Team Anna, but these kinds of images will only do harm to the society especially in these times when 'herd mentality' is the order of the day...! if a share of a 'Kolaveri Di' can get 6 Lac hits in a day.. taht too.. liked by the North Indian population, it is only imaginable what harm such hate videos and pictures can cause...!

  37. Excuse me! did you actually tell me that I should have toned down my language or did I misunderstand? I am surprised that you did not see genuine frustration in straight communication. Considering that you are upholding freedom of expression, this is quite ironical.

  38. Giribala...Hahaha

    Umashankar....Ha! nopes given that I hardly earn anything I should be seeking welfare.

    Doctoratlarge...I am floating on air, somebody pull me down!

  39. Madhav....And if you are paid a salary, we expect you to do your job.

    A grain of sand...Glad you liked.

    Kunal...Power corrupts, absolute power corrupts absolutely.

  40. Zephyr...Like Sasha said "it's all about diverting from reality and the issues that matter "

    Prasanth...I do happen to agree with what you have to say. Some of the posts and images are in poor taste. But once censorship starts there's no one to tell them when and where to stop.

    Rachna....I had to re-read my comment to understand what made you so angry.

    1. I never disrespect my readers

    2. The first line "How about doing what you are expected to do?" was meant for our elected leaders and not you.

  41. As pointed out, Sibbal should first ask Loksabha TV to be closed!

  42. I may be wrong but what I think is that in our country, the entire political system needs those "two tight slaps", everyday until the day it realizes it's own purpose and starts taking things seriously. To be honest, we the general people are also to blame, perhaps not on the same scale as the politicians, for tolerating them and that too for so long.

  43. Thank you for the explanation, Purba :). I was also wondering what ticked you off and went back to re-read my comment. I guess I misunderstood the first sentence of your comment :). Apologies!

  44. Ayyangar Sir -> Hahaha...closed for indecent exposure!!!

    Suman -> But you are simply echoing our sentiments! We are quick to criticize a system that we are reluctant to be a part of.

    Rachna...It is my fault. I should have specified who it was meant for.
    Glad we managed to clear the air :)

  45. First things first- I love the title. Reminds me of my mother who used to get angry so often at those kids from neighbourhood who stuck with their TV and did not come over to play :)))

    I believe you wrote the whole post in one go. Seems so because it is coherent and has a good flow. Was fun to read and loved the incidents that you have put up- much like the chocolate chips in that biscuit ( yes.. Hide and Seek ...Yummmmy :). Does not get boring and leaves me wanting more. Wish the post could have gone on and on :)

    Not much from my side to add :( ( and that is because you have covered everything I know and beyond )

    Thank you for taking time out to write something this good :) Thank you !

  46. Bravo!!

    In school we used to have 'thought for the day' read out every morning. Similarly the Parliament should have a 'blogpost for the day' read out daily at the beginning of every session to ensure they are made aware of what the people whom they 'serve' think.
    Your posts, am sure, would be featured almost daily!

  47. brilliant brilliant absolutely brilliant purba

  48. sritatsat...Well, I did finish the post in one go but that was because I had done my homework.

    LOL@ likening my post to a Hide & Seek biscuit.

    magiceye...As I sit and type this comment I can almost feel the paper balls, stray chappals and choicest of abuses coming my way :)

    On a serious note, our politicians should listen to what we have to say instead of trying gag us.

    Ruchira....Thank you so very much :)

  49. Brilliant!! Bit long but rich in content. Special likes for the 'scrutiny of public servants' point.

    You might like to check this:
    Please don't delete my blog Kapil Ji

  50. Brilliant!! YOu have aptly expressed the netizen's angst...wish there was button to 'delete' Kapil sibal and his ilk!

  51. Prosenjeet...My posts are usually long :)

    Burhan...Thank you :) wouldn't that be something!

  52. Purba,

    I will comment once my request for allowing me to do so by him is granted, the delay may be he is waiting for concurrence from someone.

    Take care

  53. Purba...add two more from my side:P Actually these bunch of buffoons ought to be flogged for unruly behavior in Parliament. Poor Meira Kumar, i pity the poor lady screeching and smiling at the same time...Shanth rahiye...baith jayiye:P And as for Kepler22b, its not for them dirty netas, why don't we fly off for a change?:P

  54. what would happen to my general knowledge without you and Alka, Purba? and someone's really angry and rightly so...

    i wish the media picked this piece up which is so like the aam admi ki awaaz(forgive me for making you the mango and the aadmi here-but nothing suited better)

    the post is already like a tight slap on him-how i wish he could hear it falling on his face too!:-)

  55. Sibal isn't dumb... he knows the importance of diverting public attention from all those development issues to such cozy one's. And media... the self proclaimed masters of the universe, instead of highlighting the pro's & cons of FDI wasted the whole day for internet fiasco.

    Also, I can't comment much on the advantages of FDI but one thing is for sure... if we can take billions of money from World Bank for CWG games. Then we can also ask them to help us build some warehouses to keep our enormous food production from decaying.

    The inflation isn't here for the cause of less production or any emergency like situation in the country. It is derailing the growth of our country only 'coz the Government isn't able to keep safe the food produce.

    Weakest LINK

  56. extremely insightful that was.. hope more people out there cared to sit and give these things a thought so that they would get inspired to behave properly thus rescuing the country from the trash !

  57. Jack...A Sibal certified comment on the state of our country!

    Nivedita...If are friends and family are coming with me, I am willing to anywhere, even Kepler :)

    Suruchi...Excuse us, we are a bunch of news junkies :)
    And I am proud to be an Aam Aurat.

  58. Rachit...What stops us from doing away with middlemen who start hoarding at the mere mention of rain, create artificial scarcities and send prices shooting through the roof!

    And Sibal can mastermind any trick but we all know that our economy is going nowhere.

    Maliny...Sometimes I suspect that our elected leaders do not care for the country at all! The unnecessary pandemonium in the parliament, Opposition rejecting bills....

    We need change and not controversies.

  59. You have spoken out the angst in every web user.. You are right in saying that when law is against us it is implemented quickly while when we want it for us we are expected to wait!
    The 100sms per day was implemented the very next day while "id for sim card" is still not followed.. Sim cards are sold without authentication and are widely used for harassment and other illegal activities. Isn't it the same telecom companies which do the work? Its all about government acting against and for us.. Now how telecom and government are interconnected need not be spoken of!
    I once found Kapil Sibal sensible but that myth was quickly changed.
    If government can think of monitoring crores of web users and the content then why the hell can't they curb corruption?

  60. Purba jee you are going to be famous! Sibal jee is going to ban you from internet for making "unacceptable" (yes constitution has termed these type of behaviour unacceptable you know? only Sibal jee knows) remarks against politicians. Arnab will soon be interviewing you! Ailla you are a rockstar now :))

    I really liked the classic dialogue of Meira kumar "shant rahiye, bait jaiye" :)))

  61. I have believed that the problems of FDI, censorship, and corruption come second, the primary problem is the communication gap between citizens and government. For the Govt., if you want to do something, just tell us, don't apply your best judgment thinking people are dumb and blind. For the opposition, criticism is cool but make it constructive sometimes. I never thought of people being better if all they did was point mistakes, they were better because they could come up with an alternative, and parties like BJP have always failed to do that.
    And stop with all the fight, you get us all confused.
    The more the many mouths, flaunt in tune of objection, the more they lose objective.

  62. I think you have said rightly and crisply what every Indian would love to adrenaline was rushing as I read it and the last paragraph...phew! It is awesome! Like many here, I wish someone gets this to the notice of the RIGHT person so that they get to know what 'we' think...the layman/woman:)

    Sharing it in FB:))

  63. Maithili...Because it suits them.

    And agreed, Sibal was more effective as the Minister for Human Resource Development. Nowadays he's too busy playing the bully.
    Btw it's the 100 SMS'es cap that stopped spam :) be it..But all of you will support me naa?

    Harish...Unfortunately our voice is viewed as dissent. The writing is on the wall but it's convenient to turn a blind eye to it.

    The Opposition's role is to keep the government in line and all it does is oppose every damn thing!

  64. great eyeopener, but no slaps, they like it to gain instant fame.

  65. Hey that was fundo.

    I find myself falling deep in my world of cynicism everyday, my friends and fellow help with small shoves and push all the time. Can i rant some more and hope the NASA on its next expedition will give free ride to the loonies and cronies to the new earth.

    "Vinaash Kare Vipareet Buddhee".. congress does look like a headless goat which knows not which (ass)hole is speaking and which direction it is walking.

    In this grim world, if you show me hope - should i be blamed for being wide eyed?

  66. So,so glad to see some real sensible post which is a deviation from a bit overload of mass blogging. Keep them coming,Purba.

  67. Pramod...Do they? I doubt it. It stems from pent up frustration.

    Mayank...A few good men do exist, but they are neither seen nor heard. India needs more Nitish Kumars.

    And Mayank it is the Civil society(including you and me) that is our hope.

    Mohit...So many of us singing the same tune can get tiresome. A classic case of Kolaveri Di :)

  68. I am with you all the way Purba --except that i wouldn't term Anna's supporters as loonies.
    Thanx for voicing our feelings in so explicitly.

  69. Purba, I missed this classical post by two days but had an ultimate joy to read it! What better way to enjoy a Sunday! The last bit was icing on the cake! Capt Kirk is ready to fly the loonies in spaceship Enterprise to the earth's twin planet..

  70. i guess more kapil sibal will try to resist/block web content against politicians, more its going to re-surface on the web!!!

    our political system is going through the worst phase of history!!!

  71. Socrates and his likes went about giving unsolicited advice. Their fate was sealed in cups of hemlock. For my cup of hemlock, I still maintain what was professed at the Indiblogger meet !!
    On the post....fabulous as usual.

  72. As Anna Hazare is the voice of India , you can definitely become the words of Indian people..
    An audacious post showing the true feelings of an Indian, against the corrupt system..
    Gr88 work purba...:)

  73. amazing....nicely put :)
    loved reading .....once started couldn't stop :)

  74. The politicians do deserve a couple of tight slaps!

    If I had money I would've funded the transportation of these slimy creatures to Kepler-22b....

  75. Indu...That was from Sibal's point of view.

    Rahul...LOL@ Capt Kirk is ready to fly the loonies in spaceship Enterprise to the earth's twin planet..

    rahul ...I can just pray that it doesn't get worse than this.

  76. Mindless Lampoons...Unfortunately I missed that part of the Indimeet. Had to leave.

    ankit...A voice of India that people in power will rather not hear.

    gurufrequent ...Thank you

    Blue Lotus...If all it needs is money, we'll all be happy to contribute.

  77. Kapils gonna get hurt lol!!!....catchy post...RESPECT!

  78. Very true very true..Had my head nodding throughout the post.
    Our elected leaders have taken us for granted..they will have to suffer in the next elections..Till then posts like these will remind us!

  79. Suroor & Usha...Thank you :)

    bemoneyaware...But what options do we have? Do you think the Opposition is any better!

  80. Very well written post.

    and I think that Kapil Sibal (LLM, Harvard) can't be an idiot. He's either funded by the BJP (to ruin Congress' reputation) or maybe by Mrs Gandhi herself to take everyone's attention away from her son. :D

  81. Anger intensifying, very well written post and a befitting slap!!!

  82. Mani...Hahaha...that logic makes sense!


    Sangeeta...They are a thick-skinned class.


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