Monday, April 16, 2012

Dilemma of the SAHM


Courtesy - cartoonstock.com



For the longest I didn’t know what SAHM meant, not until I became one myself. For the uninitiated, it means stay- at- home- Mom. In our quest for simplicity we have a habit of abbreviating cumbersome words – so your husband’s Mom is your MIL, you her DIL and you wish her HBD when she touches seventy but insists she’s still 65.

The new educated me no longer responds to h r u with a - what?? I simply say FTW.

I’m always amazed when women introduce themselves as “I’m just a housewife” when someone asks them – “So, are you working?” As if a housewife doesn’t work. As if being a housewife is a shameful deed and you need to sound apologetic. So sorry, that I chose to stay home and take care of the family.

Personally, I find the term homemaker more comforting. It sounds spiffier and definitely more “productive”. The woman of the house who makes the house a home – yes, that’s me!

The Government doesn’t seem to agree. The 2010 census had very kindly placed homemakers in the same category as beggars, prostitutes and prisoners. They weren’t too off the mark. We do serve our men in more ways than one and often complain of being prisoners of our own fate. At a certain frustrating time in our life, haven’t we all muttered – I feel like a maid, driver, cook rolled into one!

In 2010, I was still working. As in, I was running like a steroid fuelled athlete, fuming, screaming my lungs off, inhaling chalk dust and trying to convince adolescents that studying is a better option than sipping coffee in the canteen. And I got paid for it. I am still working, fretting, fuming but I don’t get paid for it.

When you are an SAHM, what you do throughout the day, is the biggest secret unknown to mankind. Nobody knows because they are not at home when you’re working your ass off. Nobody cares to know because they are convinced that you are having much more fun than they are. You are not allowed to crib because nobody asked you to climb atop ladders and clean book shelves. It’s all your fault that you prefer to fill your day with needless errands and chores, when you can simply sit back and read a book.

It’s you who’s responsible for her misery. The house is perfectly capable of taking care of itself.

From what I have observed, quite a few women have the innate need to make themselves indispensable to our family. They pamper, fuss around their kids and when the woman of the house is away, the family feels like a sinking Titanic. As a wife, as a mother, they feel it’s their duty to serve their family. Unfortunately in the quest for doing a job well, their own happiness is the first casualty. I know many women who live their lives through their family. Their kid’s achievements mirror their sense of self-worth. There’s a thin line dividing obsession from concern.

Of course we are the core of the family. But the core deserves a life of her own as well. What will you do when your kids grow up and seek a life of their own? What will you live for?

I am not suggesting this is the norm and there are many happy exceptions to the rule. Strong women who keep the family together and nurture them to be responsible human beings without being cloying.

I grew up in a family of working parents. Every second Saturday of the month, Paa would stay at home and cook for us while Ma would leave for work. She only got Sundays off, Dad was slightly luckier. Baba would lovingly make pulao and egg curry for us. Yes, the same menu every month, the pulao embellished with dry fruits and the eggs curry with cream, lots of it. After a while I started dreading THAT time of the month. Come morning and I would start whining, I’m not really hungry, do we really have to eat?

I have memories of Maa cribbing about office Politics, while Baba would listen to her in complete silence. A few decades later I was doing the same thing.

I had never imagined life as a stay at home wife. I never was. Both of us would leave for work together and come back around the same time. We would lie on the bed, completely drained out, eyeing each other, waiting who would get-up first and make tea. We had conjured up an imaginary Ramu and would often order him to get pakoras with the tea. The pakoras were always crunchy, the chutney lip smacking. Imagination never lets you down.

I didn’t want to leave my job and now that I have, I don’t want to go back. I still wake up early, not out of compulsion but out of choice. I am still stressed, grappling with a never ending to-do list. But I’m finally doing things I’ve always wanted to. And what’s more I am happier.

So, am I working? Hell yeah! I work for myself and my family. I may not always be happy with my appraisal reports and the bonus I get but I refuse to let my sense of self-worth be measured in terms of how much I don't earn.

127 comments:

  1. wow! lovely post. I am a SAHM and I never felt better than I do now after reading this!!
    Still I have some neagativity about it all and think I must vent it out if not elsewhere then flush it down on my blog!!!

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    1. We all have a role to play, we all make a difference in our own little ways.

      Delete
  2. a very good post, I have always believed that its tougher to be a good 'homemaker' than being a working woman....ofcourse, being a working woman has its own share of stresses....but if one is at home...its more work...now that im at home for some time..i find myself to be more busier than when i was working!!!

    and yes, its a sad fact that homemakers dont get their due...i fully realised the worth of my mum after getting married and setting up my house myself!!

    http://sushmita-smile.blogspot.in/

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    1. Oh yes! I am busier than I ever was. There's so much to do and so little time :)

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  3. You know what, I don't have a proper comment for this post. To be frank, I can live without cleaning my room for months, but my mother will have a fit. But yes, being a homemaker is not an easy task.
    Really liked your last two paras. You should always enjoy what you are doing and you create your own worth. If you are happy, then it means you are doing something right.

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    1. Err...I know there's very little you can relate to in this post.
      Let's say we are sensitizing you for the future.

      Delete
  4. The bounty of a SAHM is the variety of thing which one gets to do every hour which no job even if it promises job rotation can offer! Very gratifying when you come home to find everything in order like a clockwork mechanism:)

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    1. I am glad that somebody appreciates that :-)

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  5. hahaha I like that. My mom is a home maker and we all thought her job was the easiest of all. But now that we all have grown up and have homes of our own, we all fret and fume, when handling the house. Its nothing short of a full day job and tougher than we all thought.

    Home making is a 7 day a week, 16 hrs a day job, and it doesn't pay! Hats off to my mom, you and all the other homemakers out there. All admiration.

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    1. Yes! her contribution often goes unacknowledged.

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  6. Interesting and apt. cheers to homemakers who wont be bullied by the grades given by the loved ones. they have a life too!

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    1. And I feel so happy when I come across homemakers, who live life to the hilt.

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  7. Good post, Purba. I am all for SAHM, and there is a new breed there now, WFHM (Work-from-home mother) like me :). I know, homemakers need to feel self-confident and must fight for respect and dignity to be accorded to how they contribute in bringing up the kids and keeping the house running. To tell you the truth, I love to earn money and enjoy the deadlines and the adrenaline rush of my professional work too. Yet, I recognize and hugely respect what SAHMs do!

    http://rachnaparmar.com

    ReplyDelete
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    1. Am I allowed to say - been there, done that. And now I am at a stage, when my priorities are different :-)

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    2. As long as you are happy doing what you are doing, who cares about what anyone else thinks. If you wallow in self pity because you are sitting at home, not making any money, it is more often a problem with your attitude than anyone else's. As you pointed out, most women themselves say, "I am just a housewife..."

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    3. My wife also belongs to this WFHM category and I get tired just by looking at her!!! I have given up trying to figure out the secret behind the eternal energy and have long concluded that it has got something to do with the XX Chromosomes. Being a fashionably metro-sexual male, I try to pitch in my bit by occasionally cooking or making breakfast or laying the table but even with these minute efforts, I feel tired. Hats off to these SAHMs and WFHMs...including the one particular SAHM whose blogs never fail to entertain me.

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  8. I have always been a SAHM and am proud of the fact...You have echoed my thoughts here. Having extra grey cells is not a preserve of 9-5 working women only. My funda is, 'whatever gives you happiness and to each his own'.

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    1. As long as you don't immerse yourself in your family and refuse to look beyond them. As long as you keep your interests alive..As long as you don't stop living for yourself.

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  9. I wish a certain the lady who was heard saying that those who stay at home do so only if they are weirdos or mother to 10 children will read this :P I am still reeling from the shock and as soon as I am up and about am going to give a fitting reply. In the mean time, here is something I wrote long back: http://shailsnest.com/2008/09/30/do-you-work/

    ReplyDelete
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    1. Believe me, she has issues. She needs your sympathy.

      Delete
  10. Bravo! You have nailed your job, and only too well!
    And of course you are working. In fact you are impacting more than any other periodically earning professional. For crying out loud, hundreds of people are out here listening to your opinion and nodding their heads in return. What more can a person want to be satisfied?!

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    1. Aww...this is not just a comment, it feels like a trophy. Thank you so much, sweetheart.

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  11. Daroon lekha... Mon bhore galo..

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  12. My first blog read and comment after self imposed two month exam induced exile from blog world.Short periods of being SAHM at such times is all I can handle.It is not easy.I start seeing things(dust,webs,bugs,sometimes even nonexistent)I tend to finish half the chores before my servants report for work and I am convinced everyone around is lazy.In short I nag:/I long to be SAHM but I miss clinic at home.I need both.As you rightly said,to each her own.
    Enjoyed reading,it feels good to be back!:D

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    1. Exactly! once you are home you start notice the cobwebs you so conveniently ignored. You happily believe your daughter, when she said she spends the day studying hard for her exams. When at home, you realize she wakes up at 10 and watches too much TV :)
      Sigh...

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  13. On a serious note I have encountered situations where the "housewife" when introduced is treated like "chalo baaju hato" material types. have been aghast myself over it many a times and thanks for putting the message across. Women power! who could be rolled into any form.
    Cheers
    Sush

    ReplyDelete
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    1. As a working woman, I have heard homemakers pass caustic comments. How can she leave her kid behind....Gosh! imagine getting up in the morning and rushing off to work...I could never do that...

      People are never short of opinions. With time you learn to ignore them.

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  14. Nice round up! It reminds me I have pulao and egg curry in my fridge for lunch :-)

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    1. Ha! and I have leftover chicken stew.

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  15. I'll never show this to my mom..she'll start getting ideas to yell at us :D..

    ReplyDelete
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    1. She could do with a bit a pampering. Trust me, she needs it the most!

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  16. Purba,

    Factual statements. Worth of a woman is always under valued.

    Take care

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    1. A woman's love should never be taken for granted.

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  17. If attitude can be weighed, you carry a huge load on your back!

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    1. I'm not sure about the tone of your comment. Nevertheless, the burden makes me stand taller.

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    2. Well, I was appreciating the attitude with which you carry the burden :)

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  18. WOW! That is some post. Don't they dare tell us SAHM anymore!

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  19. I cringe when women apologetically say that they are 'just housewives'. But unless one is careful, one can either end up as a martyr who slogs without recognition or as a tyrant who bullies everyone around in her quest for perfection. Like now, the house is in a mess, the kitchen sad and me sitting and pounding away at the computer. the L&M is away and I am eating bread and butter since I want to finish as much work as possible.

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    1. We have to make sure the "me" doesn't become a "poor me", buried under a weight of expectations.

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  20. SAHM is a new one to me too! They're definitely no less hardworking, than office-goers who most often sit in front of their laptops all day and progressively nurse bulging bellies and thundering thighs out of sitting (read working) all day ;-)

    ReplyDelete
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    1. At least men can home and plonk themselves in front of the TV! But women, they have to ready themselves for the second shift.

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  21. I am gonna send this to the SAHM's i know. I have been trying to motivate a few of my friends who are SAHM's, but I guess this post would drive down the facts in a much better way to them since it actually comes from a proud SAHM and not a working man like me :).

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    1. I'll be glad if it helps boost their self-esteem.

      Delete
  22. I am a SAHHH (stay-at-home house-husband) if such a term exists, and I can totally identify with the work of making home. Strangely, it is something that cannot be put into words, listed out, or expressed as a quantity. And it is totally exhausting. Between checking mail, catching up on football, and counting the whistles of the pressure cooker, one has no clue how the hours go by. In the case of SAHMs, it would probably be the Rampuriya and the Icchka soaps. Enjoyed reading. Loved the idea of an imaginary Ramu. I am hiring one one year ago!

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    1. Beautifully put Subhorup. Your posts are as interesting as your blog posts.

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  23. Lovely post. Because it is your choice, you enjoy. When the choice is forced, howsoever good it may be, we don't enjoy.
    So, continue having fun of life.

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    1. Yes! and when I make my own choices, I cannot complain about the mistakes I make.

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  24. ...brilliant Purba...as always!

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  25. This comment has been removed by the author.

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  26. A woman's self worth in the larger society is unfortunately counted in how much they don't earn and some people certainly have it hard even though they do so much more. A woman in fact is always at the receiving end. On working, she is accused of neglecting her family and on not working, she is not treated with the respect that is due. My Mom gave up her teaching career and I don't think I would like to go through what she did from the ILs and extended society just because she was a 'housewife'. Since I don't have kids, i almost think, i would rather neglect them and fend for myself and feel worthier rather than give it all up for kids who ll leave one day anyway. Maybe cynicism and maybe that ll change once I do have kids, but I don't think I can be a stay at home mom as much as I appreciate them! I am glad you wrote this. I guess, you ve gotta DEMAND respect from this mindless society which does take women like you for granted.

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    1. The trick is not to let others affect you. People will talk, they always have but you don't have to listen to them.

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  27. Good for you Purba! I loved that last line! A sense of self-worth, for both men and women, should never arise out of what they earn but out of what they do! And I cannot see that anyone contributes as much to Society as a SAHM!

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    1. And why give others the prerogative to measure our worthiness?

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  28. Purba, this is why the Marxist feminists of the second wave wanted to hold women's domestic labor as a class in itself and that problem of class division and class consciousness also applied to SAHM group...that then became the basis of divorce alimony and the same...but the fight continues, not only in the system but also within our minds and hearts. Yes, homemaker is a more appropriate word--but we should not leave it to a PC phrase and rather begin to mean it, practice it, feel it, respect it!

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    1. It has to start with the woman at home. She has to take pride in what she does, let go of the feeling of insecurity and learn to think beyond the house and it's members.

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  29. Power packed. Ofcourse ,homemakers work. If they don't the world will come crashing down!

    ReplyDelete
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    1. Yes...it's she who holds the house together.

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  30. "Housework is something you do that nobody notices until you don't do it." :)
    it is sad when I hear many homemakers reply in that manner degrading themselves on their own!! I have been a SAHW (stay at home wife) for past 10 months and I have realized being a SAHW is no piece of cake!

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  31. Hail all the SAHMs that we forget to talk about! I sometimes wish I could be the one staying at home (minus cleaning dusty shelves; there would be people for that) and write all day. Someday, I will!
    Kudos to you. Your self worth is in what you love doing, and how much you do what you love is the only measure of your capacity for excellence. Bravo! :D

    ReplyDelete
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    1. Someday, all that you wished for will be yours. Trust me, when I say that.

      Delete
  32. I sometimes wonder how you manage your time as a writer and a homemaker. I personally feel being at home brings more work into your plate as you try to keep everything nearly perfect, which otherwise you would have kept for the weekends.By managing your household stuff,daughter's timetable and writing such amazing articles simultaneously, I am sure you can make a great case study on time management for any B-school.Forget about the money thing, just keep on doing the great job you are doing and I am sure the money table will start rolling soon on your way. Proud to know someone like you! You rock \m/

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    1. *Sniffs, wipes an invisible tear". I am definitely forwarding this to my husband, with a sweet note attached (read this, else I'll make you munch on salad leaves for dinner!)

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    2. Haha...I guess he didn't munch on those salad leaves:)

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  33. screw the un-perceiving world. my mom's a homemaker and she's amazing. she works 24/7, pampers us, takes care of all the bills, buries that dead bird, and yet makes time to read newspapers, update her blog, stay in touch with friends and family. i don't think even working women are as hard working as stay at home moms are. no offense meant since im working too! but really, we at least get holidays and homemakers dnt.

    high time the world saluted this awesome tribe.

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    1. Your Mom sounds like a fantastic lady.And it's a happy woman who can make her family happy.

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  34. I have lost the will to say anything on women VS men issue anymore , I do think in india it is currently a HOT topic and as with everything else everyone has something ot say about it ..

    My mum is a homemaker- her mum is a home maker and they are beutiful women, they are the reason why I and others in my family are where we are .. They have done their JOB so very beautifull with hard work.. They have worked more then any of the JOB working ladies for sure ...

    Bikram's

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    1. But this is not a man v/s woman discussion!
      The point I'm trying to raise here is that the homemaker is mostly the unsung hero.

      Delete
  35. It was a fantastic read... Keep penning thy thoughts through your blog... Cheers

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  36. NOW i understand why nobody appreciates a homemaker's drudgery---because nobody asks her to do all that in the first place----WHY do we do it then????????????

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  37. Mom spent half a month accompanying Pa in Kolkata where he is transferred & I'd to stay alone..after that...I started appreciating Mom's hard work a LOT more!!!And hence I'm determined to get an outdoor job not stay indoors...it's so tough managing the house(I am lazy )

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    1. Household chores are tough and mind numbingly boring!!

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  38. Succinct, engrossing and brilliant as ever.

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  39. I grew up with working parents but both of them had only Sundays off .. and my Dad not even that. To be honest, I always had a thinking that my Dad did more serious work than my Mom at work.. I feel guilty now but that is how it was .. and my Mum did house chores with her office work - She was also on a managerial position so its was tough. Only after I started working and got married I realized things can be so difficult .. last week, I discovered this Subway shop nearby our apartment and for 6 continuous days we ate dinner there. I am simply too tired some times. Its just the way things are presented as important and the other things as less or unimportant that we form our perceptions on.

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    1. Working women have it tough - they have to manage the house and kids as well!
      And you"ll get around it soon - discover delightful shortcuts, learn to fix a meal in 5 mins flat and learn to prioritize :)

      Delete
  40. If you enjoy being a home maker, it isn't a job but a pleasure. Mums who've lived only for their kids must feel quite bereft when kids grow up and show a desire to fly the coop. Hopefully, they don't make their kids feel guilty for seeking others. Lovely article. The Purbaisms made me smile as usual.

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    1. The trick is to take pleasure in what you do - there are times I succeed but sometimes I fail miserably!

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    2. Ditto and so, utterly understandable. Hopefully we bounce back in a hurry. At least I would if my knees allowed me to :).

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  41. Really nice :) This could have been an inspiration for me, if I were, say 10 years + my current age.

    As of now, I love my work, my independence, and my home as well :)

    But all said and done, every woman, working or not, is the unsung hero of any family.

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    1. So we are! We wear many hats and are often the backbone of the family.

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  42. OH MY HOLY GOD!!! AWESOME POST! SERIOUSLY!

    "when the woman of the house is away, the family feels like a sinking Titanic"

    cant agree more...

    and by the way, a SAHM gets paid too...with loads of love that can't be measured on any pay slip!
    well...that goes for a non-SAHM too but jst saying...

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    1. Love doesn't cost a thing yet we hesitate in giving it.

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  43. u write so well Purba. Love the topics you choose :)
    a very good post.
    Check out my fashion blog - http://risingcolors.blogspot.com/

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    1. Would love to check out your blog.

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  44. 82 comments! I was away from this blog for so long? well anyways, it was so good to read about you being a home maker! My mum has also been one of them. The HOMEMAKER term really took on her mind and she uses the same one if anyone asks her for her profession.. She has done a lot of that muttering as well... But may be I was young enough to understand that thing in those days. Now when am mature enough to understand, I let her mutter out completely till she feels better. I have stopped complaining, if she places my glass of drinking water on right hand side of my dish, or if she sends wrong spoon with my lunch, or if the salt is not in right quantity in the subzee, or if the papad is roasted a bit extra red, or sometimes even if the Drinking Water isn't at my desired temperatures. Its so tough for her to manage and she has been doing that for 30 years now. Its time to stop demaninding from her but understand her more.... Probly if I present her this blog of your's she might not understand every bit of it, but she might get the sentiment and feel proud about being a HomeMaker! A printout of this and I will experiment this, on her wedding anniversary which is in next week!!

    There have been a lot of discussions happening between Ladies in my office's breakout areas about torture being a homemaker! And I guess they too should be fwded with this LInk! Its no bad in being a Home Maker!! Apologies, if any bit of the comment has been against your sentiments in anyways!

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    1. From what I could deduce from your comment, your Mom could certainly do with some help!
      Cooking is enjoyable but not when you have to do it everyday of your life, three times a day.
      Take her out for movie, pamper her and make sure she doesn't enter the kitchen on a Sunday.

      Delete
  45. one need not become defensive being a SAHM. the need for approval has to be low thats all.

    the importance is understood most in absentia - so every now and then tug the rope a little and voila.

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    1. I can't seem to find the rope. Damn!

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  46. lucky was the day when i came across your blog. ur posts are always worth reading. some of the issues u write about, like this one, are known to all but rarely discussed. as far as housewives are concerned, i feel many a times working women look down upon them. i personally know working women, who even dont speak to housewives. how, ever, will the housewives or rather the homemakers get their proper respect in the society when even other women are not ready to repect them??

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    1. I'm surprised to know that such women exist! Imagine forming an opinion on basis of what a person does for a living.

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  47. Housewife in the same category as beggars !! WTF ?? This country of ours has become that stupid then I think civil war is the only thing that'll cure our society, so to speak. Love the term homemaker, gives value to the women who hold our lives together. The post made me remember a hecule poirot's episode when hastings is alone at home makes an unbelievable mess which hampers his detective skills too.
    P.S. - your pa made pulao and curry, Awesome !!

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    1. A homemaker's worth is understood only in absentia.

      P.S My Paa even made devilled eggs and Russian Salad!

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  48. Well said, being a SAHM is definitely a full-time job. It requires managerial skills, prioritization and lots of dedication. It's too bad you can't put "homemaker" in your resume!

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    1. And why not! After all, it's one hell of a job.

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    2. Agreed. Unfortunately it's not up to me to decide!

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  49. Beautifully written. There is indeed no measure to the value and importance of a homemaker or the pains and troubles they go through to bring happiness and meaning to the family. It is intangible and can only be and should be understood and cherished.

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    1. Absolutely! Respect the fact that she gave up so much to make life more comfortable for you.

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  50. Completely agree with your post. I am in the same boat myself now after having worked outside the home non-stop for 9 years, so initially it does feel a little different. But I have no regrets, no complaints. I am actually starting to like it though I do feel that sooner rather than later, I might want to get to doing something more - doesn't mean I go back to the typical work I used to do. More like having a purpose in life outside of home. I have also noticed some husbands start to make it an expectation that the wife staying at home would mean she has to cook 4 times a day, different dishes or keep the house spic and span 24x7! Never fall into that trap or there's no getting out. Of course, doesn't mean all husbands are like that. Thank God mine isn't. Mine chuckles when he sees me doing complete timepass stuff like making bookmarks out of greeting cards. I now read a lot more, write, cook, clean, sing, paint and am so much happier. I could never do all this when I used to work. Now if I do get to doing something more, I want to make sure I dont have to give up these! I am now at peace.

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    1. Men assume that since the woman is simply twiddling her thumbs at home, she might as well make herself useful by cooking up a storm in the kitchen!

      And I'm glad I never fell into the "trap". Imagine filling your time with household chores!

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  51. I hope you don't omit this comment among this horde because an awesome surprise awaits this awesome lady pl. click http://jeeteraho.blogspot.in/2012/04/wow-this-is-truly-awesome.html

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  52. First Timer here and enjoyed. Need to come back more often

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  53. Awesome post.I have gone through a phase of being a STAY-AT-HOME though not MOM,so I know how it is.Though I have seen my mom as SAHM,and she's more happy than ever,she is busy always in her daily chores,sometimes she paints,sometimes she does charity work and stuff.Kind of like her life.Though for some its always a kind of negativity involved with SAHM,and its mostly people who annoyingly ask again and again"where do you work" or"planning to" now that the kids are all set.Anyways keep writing,check my blog too,I am a newbie,and way younger than you,so any feedback any suggestions most welcome: http://www.ankionthemove.com/
    I have posted your blog in my FB page too..i so so much love this post :https://www.facebook.com/Ankionthemove

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    1. Will be visiting your link soon and thanks a ton for sharing it on FB :-)

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  54. i remember when i was in school, teacher asked a young girl, 'is your mom working?' and she said, 'yes she's a cooker, she cooks at home'!

    :-)

    have a nice weekend Ma'm.

    regards
    rahul

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  55. Here is an award for you http://chocolatesanddreams.in/entries/others/7-x-7-award

    ReplyDelete
  56. Hey, don't say you aren't paid for being a home maker. You're the boss, the home minister and the treasurer too (though times are changing, and people get cheques and online transfers rather than bundles of notes), but you know the Credit card PINs, don't you?

    Cheers,
    Blasphemous Aesthete

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Err...I have my own credit cards and still pay my bills :-)

      Delete
  57. Hi A-Musing,

    I only recently discovered your blog and have been hooked ever since! I would like you gift you an award in genuine appreciation. No pre-conditions attached.
    Please view http://deepa-duraisamy.blogspot.com/2012/04/and-winner-is.html for your award. Just a different award that I think applies to your blog! Hope you like it!

    Thanks,
    Deepa.

    ReplyDelete
  58. Lovely post. It was very well written to true facts as u have seen both sides of being a working woman and now a house wife.

    ReplyDelete
  59. I think it is a great post because of the fact that you have done both, not only that but you pointed out something I think is very important. That, you must realise you HAVE to have a life and interests BEYOND your family, if you don't once the kids are grown up...what will you do? what will your world consist of? what if your husband leaves? I saw this happen to many women and I guess it made me REALLY negative towards SAHM. I am in a different position, I'm in my mid 20's, unmarried and childless so I guess in a way I cannot relate. The thought of not working at being at home and not earning my own income and using/relying on another persons money scares me to no end...but that could all change. I found your article to be interesting because you are a strong woman capable of leading her own life etc..not just one of those women/girls fixated on marriage/husbands/kids since she was 16 and who has no aims besides getting married, attending parties and rearing children!

    ReplyDelete
  60. Some years back, I read a joke. A man returns from office and sees that the children are playing outside the home, all dirty. He enters the house and finds everything in mess, water running from the bathroom; things are spilled around the room. He thinks that some robbers might have attacked their house and rushes for the bedroom. He finds his wife coolly reading a book. He asks, “what is all this?”. She says, “Everyday you come and ask me what I did all day. Today, I didn’t do anything”. This pretty much sums up the heady pressure every homemaker has on her shoulder and its pretty sad when people doesn’t recognize it.

    Divya Bhaskar
    MyGrahak.com

    ReplyDelete

Psst... let me know what you are thinking.

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