Thursday, May 31, 2012

The Return of the Didi


Courtesy Economic Times

There’s a shiver of excitement coursing through the Trinamool cadre. Their very own Mamata Di has now achieved global notoriety. Soon after Time magazine featured her in their exclusive 100 most influential list, Washington Post went ahead and called her the biggest (note the compliment – BIGGEST!) obstacle to India’s liberalization.

It is indeed a proud moment for Poschim Bongo.

Mamata Di has always been best friends with controversy. Starting as a state level player where she put pressure in CPM’s noses (naak me dum kar diya), she soon graduated to a national phenomenon. A tireless crusader of rollbacks and a slayer of bills, Didi is now the government’s nagging migraine. After stunning the world with her victory over the rusty Reds, as commander-in-supreme of her state she has now moved on to bigger and better targets. The bhodromohila not only decides which colour to paint her city with but also decides on behalf of the PM whether he says yes to Haseena in Bangladesh.
 
It appears Ms Banerjee’s growing clout has world leaders shitting in their pants. It’s not only the fossil CPM and malnourished Maoists who are conspiring to send Didi heavenwards. Korea, Venezuela and Hungary are after her behind (pechhone porey achhe). These bankrupt countries are so worried that they are willing to pour money from their empty pockets into Pakistan’s much feared ISI, who have been assigned the honourable job to kill Di.

It is indeed a proud moment for Poschim Bongo. Their very own Didi is more Wanted than Don.

But Banerjee Di is always a step ahead of her enemies. While the rest of the country was busy making fun of her paranoia of cartoons, it was Mamata who unravelled a hidden message to assassinate her in the cartoon that a bored JDU professor had floated on FB. “Mamata Banerjee eez not a cartoon. A section of the mediaah called it a cartoon. But they are wrong. It contained the word 'Bhanish', which means a plan to assassinate and keel Mamata Banerjee” the Chief Minister clarified at a party meeting. She also alleged a conspiracy through Facebook, Twitter and SMS and said - I am being shown in Facebook. Now, it is my turn. I bheel show you Facebook.




Courtesy India Today

Didi is Didi. Instead of playing victim, she has ordered MP5 series submachine guns for the sake of her safety. Kolkata police is excited about this new development. After years of handling water cannons to disperse the bhodrolok populace protesting against poverty in Nicaragua, they will finally get to play with real toys.

Her fans and followers, otherwise known as Trinamool Congress have joined Didi bachao andolan, launched by their beloved leader herself. Anybody who dares to question her or laugh at her will henceforth be branded as “Ma-oh-eesht”.

In the latest unprecedented development, Ms Banerjee has stunned the world by bringing home the much coveted IPL trophy. It is under her charismatic captaincy her knights managed to overthrow Amma’s boys and staked their claim to victory. As Korea, Venezuela and Hungary watched the live telecast in helpless anger, Dids cocked a snook at them and proclaimed - Bengal is proud. The bhiktry of KKR is like bhiktry of the world. Kim smashed his Lego missile, Chavez started chewing his vuvuzela furiously and Hungary threw its cold soup down the drain. Last heard, ISI is planning to relocate to the Himalayas to promote world peace.

With tears brimming in her eyes bankrupt Didi proceeded to present her knights with gold chains that she had personally snatched from Bappi Lahiri. Ironically the actual Bengal cricket team that had lifted the Vijay Hazare trophy was given the mushroom treatment – kept in the dark and fed garbage. Here is a short quiz for Didi – please name Bengali players in the KKR team that played the finals.

It was indeed a proud moment for Poschim Bongo. From a national migraine, their beloved slayer of Red has now graduated to an international embarrassment.

Korbo naa, jeetbo naa, kintoo lodbo re.

Source 

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/indiahome/indianews/article-2151788/Bankrupt-Didi-finds-hero-CM-claims-slice-KKR-glory-failed-year-Portibortan-taking-SRKs-Knights.html?ito=feeds-newsxml

http://timesofindia.indiatimes.com/india/CPM-Naxals-plotting-to-kill-me-with-help-from-ISI-Mamata-tells-US-daily/articleshow/13401800.cms
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103 comments:

  1. Ok, I'm taking to learning Bengali now.....it indeed is a sweet language, after all the punches you threw in. And has Di managed to banish you yet? Expect a press conference any time!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. If her lackeys read this - they will make sure I spend the rest of my life in Sunderbans.

      Delete
  2. What Laloo and Patna were for comics in the 90s and early 2000s, Mamata and Kolkata are today. She is running a circus. The IPL victory rally was an embarrassment.
    She seems to have entered a different zone of crazy. And even crazier are her "yes men". I am surprised Derek O'brien has not come forward to defend her.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Laloo was corrupt. One thing Didi can never be accused of is, greed.

      Delete
  3. Purba, a nice satire but a big worry for Bong bandhu as she has forgotten she is in power and not in opposition benches to call state sponsored bandhs while she tacitly approves UPA governance! In Bengal the malady is worse than the disease.A sad state of affairs:(

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I read somewhere that Didi was trying to scare the crowd at Eden Gardens with an imaginary lathi.

      Had it been Mayawati, should would have ordered a Hathi charge.

      Delete
  4. Lol.... nice post... had a good laugh reading it!

    ReplyDelete
  5. When ever I see Didi, I can laugh and only laugh. She tom toms the bankruptcy of the state Exchequer but has all the money to spend on IPL victory bash! Surprisingly, on the issue of Petrol price rise,she is not up to the mark!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. She's Bengal's first ever hysterical Chief Minister. Doesn't take much to rile her.

      Delete
  6. Nice piece of political satire. Keep up the tempo.

    ReplyDelete
  7. Good post Purba.

    Kolkatta is in the news this morning :\

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. What about it? Anything serious?

      Delete
  8. Biggest Hurdle??? why am I not surprised?

    And loads of lol @ Korbo naa, jeetbo naa, kintoo lodbo re

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. She is our very own No Minister.

      Delete
  9. Awesome post! Loved the punches :)
    You're getting better and better at this, each day!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Dids brings out the worst in me :D

      Delete
  10. I am doubting her sanity after she walked of a CNN show labeling students as Maoists......a satire by Bachi in TOI says it's enbhious rivals who are planting such stories.....sadly, there were so many expectations from her but as you once said she has become a nationaaal headache.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I just read that editorial. It's howlarious.
      But on a serious note, she desperately needs a reality check.

      Delete
  11. She is loony, and I saw that victory parade in Kolkata. It was rather silly. I dislike her the maximum for what she is doing to the Railways. What can one say? People try out a new alternative, and look at what they get when they do that.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Nobody expected her to succeed when she took over. CPM left behind a legacy that will take years to rectify.

      But had she taken criticism constructively instead of reacting hysterically to it, she wouldn't have become the laughing stock of the country.

      Delete
  12. U have done it again.
    But, Purba, be warned. The next knock on your door could be the Kolkata poolise looking for the kalprit ...

    ReplyDelete
  13. Haha..I watched the circus go on and on and on. It was as if Bengal was a totally different nation and they won the world cup :|
    Chennai and Rajasthan won IPL too. But they didnt act so crazy :/

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yep...trust her to turn it into a personal victory!

      Delete
  14. The rally was a total hilarious show! And seriously nothing for the Vijay hazare trophy winners. Such a shame. She is a kid who has been given a toy to play with after ages and ages and she has no clue how more to play with it. You have totally nailed it and I share my thoughts with Rituparna above :-) beware :-)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Sigh! I am in bheeg trouble now. Didi will kill me with shondesh.

      Delete
  15. Awesome, awesome post!

    ReplyDelete
  16. Lolz:):D ...a great post...rib tickling satire...very witty!

    ReplyDelete
  17. You are horrible, Purba...(I am trying to be safe, just in case this post goes to Didi like the other cartoon (remember you also mention the word Banish) and gets labeled as "Ma-oh-eesht", I can always claim to immunity. LOL!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. And I thought you were a friend :-(

      Delete
  18. anything to get a political mileage, and make fool of people. done so precisely and systematically by the CM ji.

    I was also trying ot find sincerely the idea of doing so much for the KKR team, are they getting paid LESS, havent they had enough money already.
    The worst thing I found was which disgusted me to my core was JUHI CHAWLA behind over to touch banerjee's FEET. I mean wtH was that..

    I wish such waste of time and money does not happen and that the people use their common sense.. Public money given to people who are already LOADED, for the benefit of a politcial party and yet end of the day it was the common public that had to bear the DANDA of police and poor kids get hurt ..

    and Then the CM didi says she is doing it for the state how is this gonna help the state and the people she is governing

    on another track those MP5 guns are wow and sleek I tell you :)

    Bikram's

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. One year of TMC and Didi has precious little to show. And when the IPL win came her way, she grabbed it with both arms.

      A didiculous show that only Didi is capable of.

      Delete
  19. God it was a circus out there in Kolkatta wasn't it !
    And really she has taken lodbo re to new heights our Mamta Di !

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. A didilicious show, as someone so correctly pointed out :D

      Delete
  20. Love to read your satires,i am so sad i missed that rally.

    ReplyDelete
  21. Purba,

    What are the visiting hours in Kolkota jail or for that matter she has a clout even for Tihar? Witty beyond doubt but would she take it as humour if she ever comes to know of it? And our famous minister now will have a strong case for banning internet.

    Take care

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Just make sure you get home cooked meals every time you visit me in Jail.

      Delete
  22. this was a nice read Purba. the way u have added things around Didi... I was away from the world for sometime and u got me in synch... :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Didi is Didi. She never fails to be entertaining.

      Delete
  23. aaaaaaaaaaaaaaagh!! somebody..anybody! please get me out of 'ere! :)))
    Will reserve comment till then...LOL..
    Howlarious...!!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hehehe....glad I could make you laugh.

      Delete
  24. Didi is now a rebel without a cause!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Without a cause and without pause.

      Delete
  25. If only she'd spend more time on doing the state some good, rather than worrying about a cartoon. Maybe the cartoonist didn't get her best angle.

    Pzes

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I believe she's trying but gets overshadowed by her idiosyncrasies.

      Delete
  26. 'yum-azing reed', with comical icons like didi,satirists certainly are having a field day. Looks like a 'red' carpet welcome awaits u in poschim bongo.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I am afraid she might give me the football treatment.

      Delete
  27. :D nagging migraine is the word for Didi. Good one!
    And the IPL victory show was Rib-tickling. With all her recent antics, what better trigger does a cartoonist need to get to work.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Bengal's Didi is effortlessly funny.

      Delete
  28. All hail the bhiktorious! This is easily one of your best - woohooo!

    Sharing like madman!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Kindly accept my e-blessings.

      Delete
  29. Feel such a sense of disquiet after reading this.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. In a tussle between Left and Right, Bengal forgot to move forward.

      Delete
  30. there were three bengalis in the finals: manoj tiwari, laxmi ratan shukla and shakib al hasan...yes if u r talking from the bong blood perspective, then no one.

    carefree

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. KKR's win was not Bengals' victory. It's just a private team owned by a movie superstar!

      Delete
  31. your writing is witty and humorous...and a gr8 blog here..keep up the good work..
    Your new follower,
    Nupur

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks a lot for the follow :-)

      Delete
  32. HILLAAAAAAAAAAARIOUSSSSSSSSSSSS :)

    ReplyDelete
  33. A Pratibha devoid of talent and Mamata without a grain of 'mamta' in her heart..I guess Mayawati is at least true to her name.The lesser said about the Mayawati of the South,the Ja-Lalita Pawar,the better.Hum khaas -khaas hain!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. And most of them are victims of extreme paranoia, who prefer surrounding themselves with yes-men.

      Delete
  34. Teen mash jail and shaath diner phaanshi coming your way, Purba. Great post. Bengal has had a spate of bad luck, starting 1943. Of course, I wasn't born till later, still...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. With well wishers like you, who needs enemies!

      Delete
  35. she is one mad lady,,cauz of her railways are in loss..cauz of her,we hear crappy accusations of everyone being a maoist..recently in rail accident she told we cant rule out sabotage,uff!! Everywhere politics in her mind..If its KKR,its mamta..If amar mamta di is readin this,o bolbe that ami also a maoist!:) Funny lady

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Uff is what describes her perfectly. A funny lady who takes herself too seriously.

      Delete
  36. I really didnt mind the KKR celebrations till I found out about the treatment of the West Bengal cricket team. Whattay mess!

    ReplyDelete
  37. Just Awesome...The sarcasm contained in the write-up is so very apt and perfect in its sense...Lovely :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Sarcasm is just another form of anger.

      Delete
  38. Haha this should be printed across the national paper on the front page!

    Love the humor in the write up as usual. :D

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. And if it is, I will cooling my heels in jail :D

      Delete
  39. This comment has been removed by the author.

    ReplyDelete
  40. Ha.. Purba you are humorous as ever. Great post !

    ReplyDelete
  41. Oh My! Love it! The sarcasm.....you reflect so me! But careful! You could be the next on Didi's hitlist. :P

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I'm hoping for a death-by-shondesh sentence :-)

      Delete
  42. Really loved the post and the end summed it beautifully their beloved slayer of Red has now graduated to an international embarrassment.
    When Mamata Banerjee came people expected things to become change but ...
    Hats off to your writing style - enjoy all your posts!

    ReplyDelete
  43. I need to listen to more news.

    On second thoughts, really? Do I? To see such a silly plight? Didi, who once rode the storm, and overthrew the Reds, is now doing just the same thing. And that too on a larger scale.

    Power corrupts, gets inside the head. I think it is true.

    Late to blog, late to read, late to comment, I sincerely apologize.

    Regards,
    Blasphemous Aesthete

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I am a news junkie, Anshul.

      Power makes you insecure. It makes you think everyone is out to topple you from your seat.

      Delete
  44. Hi Purba, great post. I can't stop laughing and at the same time feeling sorry about the state of affairs in West Bengal. Didi is on a roll. After becoming the CM, she knows exactly how to keep the UPA under her knuckles and the 'dumb' UPA government is following her as a mute spectator. A song dedicated to Didi from a young girl from Dehradun:  http://bit.ly/J9RVh8.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks for sharing the link :-)

      Delete
  45. She personifies that category of "self obsessed, I am always right, world is conspiring against me and how much ever I am shaken up, I will never accept the reality"..

    ReplyDelete
  46. LOL. Sarcasm at its best :)

    Didi could you after you if she ever read this ;)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. She"ll label me as a LMAOIST.

      Delete
  47. LOL!!! Laughing like mad. Purba, was expecting a post on these lines long time back;) And what a post...btw, translation for the last line please!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. "I will not do anything" "I will not win anything" "Yet I"ll continue fighting"

      Delete
  48. bhiktry....lol

    Ma'm that was too good, more than enjoying the satire nature of the post i was shocked to read few facts associated with bengal i mean with mamta banerjee about the plans to kill her!!!

    rahul

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Whatever Mamata Di does or says is shocking.

      Delete
  49. That was just hilarious. Some rip roaring satire that was. Didi against the world especially against poor and bankrupt tending to third world countries hiring a fourth world country to assassinate the future of India - that is some conspiracy. I was laughing all the while thanks to your brilliant humor, though the actual state of affairs makes me sad. But again.. truly sublime writing as usual.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. After reading your effusive praise, even I am impressed with myself :p

      Delete
  50. Just wondering, how did she manage to win the elections in the first place? Didi and dadagiri don't mix.

    ReplyDelete
  51. Really a great post. The punches used are specially awsome!! :)

    ReplyDelete

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