Tuesday, June 26, 2012

Secret Diary of a Feminazi


I

t’s funny how often a woman with a mind of her own and opinions galore is dismissed as a feminist. God forbid if you don’t happen to agree with folks who think a woman is meant to be a voluptuous body sans a mind, a tethered cow, born to serve and please - you are considered an anomaly. If a woman cries foul at being treated as an object, pawed and groped at every available opportunity, she is accused of overreacting.

Ironically even women are reluctant to identify themselves as feminists for the fear of being branded as man-hating, bra-burning, whiny liberals. Even among the so called metrosexual crowd, feminism is still seen as too radical, too uncomfortable or simply unnecessary.
 

It seems ‘Feminist’ is the new four lettered word!
 

As a woman who doesn’t believe in tempering her emotions and words, I have often been at the receiving end of the F-word. Not the type of person to take things “lying down”, I have decided to mend my ways and behave the way the world expects me to.

Presenting the SECRET DIARY OF A FEMINAZI.


I was all of seven when I knew something was right with me. I was on a reclining chair, waiting with my eyes closed, when I felt a man’s hands inside my mouth. I bit it so hard that my dentist needed a tetanus injection. Not one but fourteen of them.

Me, I was a born fighter. I grew up beating my brother and when I finally got married to a man foolish enough to fall in love with me, I didn’t spare him either. On every weekend and holiday, I beat him black and blue, so what if it’s only in a game of Scrabble. Weekdays I am busy, shouting slogans in front of DNA Tiwari’s residence. Why is it so difficult to accept the unwanted and the unclaimed as his progeny?

Actually every time I want to lose weight, I go on a protest fast. Right to cause earthquake by exposing my cleavage…right to be a slut….right to distribute pink chaddis to men who prefer wearing langotis. As long as the world is full of men who have mindsets that refuse to time travel from the medieval ages, I will have issues that will help me lose weight.

I almost lost three kilos when I saw a product threatening to brighten up my privates – all that raving, ranting… Phew! It was so exhausting. “A liberated woman is one who has sex irrespective of privates” It was retweeted 69 times and I almost became a Twitter celebrity! So famous that I had to hide my face behind kajal smeared eyes and shock of curly hair. Someone even mistook me for Arundhati Roy and tried to stone me.

Sadly, any woman who chooses to behave like a ‘full human’ is treated as something of a dirty joke.

You can hurt my body, but you cannot suppress my inner goddess that’s in a constant Q&A mode. God may be in the details, but the goddess is in the questions. The feminine was born superior yet she is held back by traditions, customs and familial expectations. Only women are blessed with sense and sensibility, a womb that holds the seed of humanity, a brain that thinks and feels and a heart that can love selflessly. A man on the other hand can never be man enough – that unfortunately is the tragedy of machismo.

Yet more and more women have begun raising their daughters more like sons, when they should be raising their sons more like daughters. Why can’t boys play with Barbies and girls with guns? Why wait to grow up before indulging in these games?

I dream of a world where alpha males will be man enough to flaunt their femininity. Sob at the drop of their pallu, outrage when groped and watch saas-bahu serials while their woman tries to seduce that hot boy in leotards at the local bar. A world where women can flaunt their beer bellies, burp and pretend to be funny while they fart. A world where women can rest on their laurels while men constantly struggle to prove they are better. Where ego is more female than male.

Let’s say Ah-men to that!

Courtesy - Google images


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105 comments:

  1. Liked your no holds barred feminazi concept:) Difficult to say how many will be takers of gun toting, beer belly females:)

    ReplyDelete
  2. Liked your concept of Feminazi:) Difficult to say how many will fall for gun toting pot bellied beer guzzling women is another issue!

    ReplyDelete
  3. Psssst....you protesting anytime soon.....anywhere...lemme know.....shall join ya! This post reminds me again why I think you are my lucky charm.....thank God for that.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. With you on my side, I'll have the sun, the moon and the stars :-)

      Delete
  4. You're the best Di! Love it. I know exactly what it feels like to have people try to dismiss me because I am a woman or tell me "you have to bear with it, as you're a woman"...blah blah blah to hell with it all.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Nobody has the right to tell you what to do and what your limitations are.

      Delete
  5. Amen to that! I love the part were men will be more in touch with there inner feminine. If I ever have a son, I will raise him like a daughter, where he will learn to love, respect, care and provide and not just try to prove to the world how macho he is.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Sensitivity, empathy are not feminine attributes. I wish more and more come to realize that.

      Delete
  6. Each line is worth its weight in gold. For me, this is one of your best. This is what I call true feminism presented in such an interesting manner that those who disagree will also love to read this post over and over again.
    And they cant mistake you as Arundhati....you have a warm genuine smile, unlike her pseudo one.

    I am reading this again.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Coming from you, it's a huge compliment.

      Thank you for your encouraging words.

      Delete
  7. Excellent as usual, Purba!

    Do check out my post on the state of women in our country... :/ quite sad ... and such a contrast to how we wish things were for us! http://e-pinion.blogspot.in/2012/06/no-country-for-women.html

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Just did and also commented.

      Delete
  8. Very nice ......

    ReplyDelete
  9. hahahhahahha! I loved it!
    I am waiting for the day when we females are equal to males.

    ReplyDelete
  10. We, men, will join the feminists' march but won't be able to resist all the good lookers in the crowd. If that is okay with you, do let us know. :-)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. We won't mind a witty MP by our side.

      Delete
  11. what can i say..i was rived by the blog post..feminism is a badge one should be tagged with pride..

    ReplyDelete
  12. I nice definition and concept of Feminazi! The only fear is what will be the take of men for gun toting, beer bellied females:)
    Purba, this is my third attempt to leave a comment as on two occasions it vanished into thin air:)

    ReplyDelete
  13. lol!! your secret ambition is to grow a beer belly!! great!! feminazi indeed!! love that term!!

    honestly a wonderful post! loved the outrage! hope your dreams come true too of a gender equal world!

    cheers!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Wish I could walk with my paunch held high! It will be such a liberating experience.

      Delete
  14. As usual a tongue-in-cheek post:) Yous post does reflect well in the "Purba-style" the problem in calling oneself a feminist.These lines:
    "A world where women can flaunt their beer bellies, burp and pretend to be funny while they fart. A world where women can rest on their laurels while men constantly struggle to prove they are better."--although very funny, makes fun on what we suffer daily. There is pathos in those lines.

    And the issue is we don't "Menism" going on in full fury--where men can get back in touch with their emotions and their feminine side. In USA I knew of men who participated in male retreats to reintegrate the feminine in them--they are usually powerful sessions for men. In our own myths the concept of Ardhanarishwara seeks to integrate the masculine and feminine within ourselves.

    I do have an issue with mothers who bring up their daughters as sons--arghh, really??? why??? Guns??? why??? I would love to see a day when daughters would also integrate both masculine and feminine in a gentle balance:)

    Your posts are a treat Purba! Keep blasting us from our normal routines:)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. We all have a feminine and masculine to us. It's just that we tend to take gender stereotyping too seriously.

      Not all women cry..not all men cheat.

      And thank you so much :-)

      Delete
    2. You make a good point Purba. There is no "essential" woman who has the characteristics of what a woman is! Every woman is different as an individual and yet due to social conditioning several tend to have certain characteristics based on what is socially expected from them. So social class appears called "womEn" which is different from "womAn."

      And yes, you are right--feminine does not equal women.
      Feminine is quality, woman is a human.

      But I disagree when feminine is considered a "weak" and "passive" attribute while masculine is considered as "strong" and "assertive/active" attribute.

      Delete
  15. This NAZI looks all in power to go into the world war three. Count me in as one of the allies please.
    Tired of this feminism and MCPs and all those related terms. It is just the matter of living and let live. Survival of the fittest. Stop the generalising and categorization of men and women.

    All along the post couldn't help smirking Purba! Bang on post again!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Parvati Sena. And the number keeps growing.

      Thank you :-)

      Delete
  16. Purba, enjoyed reading your thoughts about Feminazi concept and enduring the advances of lecherous menfolk with a dig on pot bellies and beer guzzling! I however shudder to think of beer bellied , gun toting, WWF style women prancing around:)

    ReplyDelete
  17. hilarious..loved the way you presented a serious issue with a touch of humour :)

    ReplyDelete
  18. Loved your concept of Feminazi and jibe at lecherous menfolk! Am not too sure about beer bellied gun toting females and the consequences thereafter:)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. We could also do with some gentlemen. Care to join us?

      Delete
  19. a real good read.....feminism truely has become the F word!! sadly!!

    http://sushmita-smile.blogspot.in/

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  20. Coincidentally, I started writing on the same topic yesterday. And I am sure I wouldn't have expressed it as beautifully as it is expressed in this post! :)
    Even I believe woman is born superior to man. Great post.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Ah,no! We all have our unique styles.

      Thanks for the appreciation.

      Delete
  21. well written one and funny at the same time!!!
    'Where ego is more female than male'...i think it is equally distributed now....

    ReplyDelete
  22. I have a problem with both extremes (the extremely submissive and the extremely aggressive) -- they give a bad name to the entire womankind. Somewhere in the middle is the path I tread.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. It's how well you put your views across. Constant outraging has never helped a cause.

      Delete
  23. Awesome post!Loved every bit of is. I believe Feminism is more about gender equality, than superiority, but still it wouldn't hurt to be the universally accepted superior one, if the world turns upside down.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. We were all born equal but made to believe otherwise.

      Delete
  24. Acha is by nyway Arundhati RAy connected with Purba RAy.... ??:D , if we can hav Pratibha Tai occupying the top post , kiran bedi shouting for rghts , Mamata banerjee bringing a govrnmnt to stand still wid her cantankerous mannerism,where a PM is governd by a Lady supremo,in a country where Female Goddess dominates the Temples...., I dnt thnk its a male dominated world anymore.....!!Each of us equal and instead of ppl portraying female-male , they shud promote and celebrate "Humans" on a whole......., coz a world widout women cannot exist so it is true for men.........

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I wish we could all live by the same ideology. Live and let others live and the world will be a much better place.

      Delete
  25. AMEN! Whether or not the woman’s movement began in the Garden of Eden, it came in time to play a big role in history...by no means we are “invisible half” of humanity that contemporary myth makes them out to be!!
    Take a bow, Purba for this piece. Stupendous!!! :)
    Women CAN get ruthless and evil.. although women tend not to mention such trivial points that disagree with their utopia :P:P
    Great post!!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Of course! When it comes to plotting someone's downfall - women are far more superior than their male counterparts!

      Appreciate your kind words :-)

      Delete
  26. "Right to cause earthquake by exposing my cleavage…right to be a slut"

    :D WTF (F = Feminism) :P

    ReplyDelete
  27. Purba,

    Present state of affairs is sad, isn't it so?
    I would love to see gender equality before I go.

    But no beer bellies or things like that, please. A dig at system put forward with a lot of wit.

    Take care

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I am sure we can express gender equality in a more civilized manner. Beer belly looks gross on any gender.

      Delete
  28. The picture is trying to portray that anti-feminist writers enjoy more than feminist writers. I guess it is drawn by some male chauvinist pig :-|

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Spoken like a true feminazi!

      Delete
  29. Makes mental note - Never be on the bad side of Purba Ray.

    Err...I guess the protests should be fine. You could occupy Janta Mantar or something. And I see you already have many supporters so I think I will just watch it from a distance.

    P.S. Most probably, you would find that boy in leotards at a Gay Bar somewhere.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Just make sure you click good pictures, wokay?

      Delete
  30. It really was "howlarious" like one of those boxes suggested...and please bring on this world fast-if for nothing else then my refusing-to-budge, sort-of beer belly minus the beer:(

    "Yet more and more women have begun raising their daughters more like sons, when they should be raising their sons more like daughters"
    This line will stand out for a long while in my mind :-)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. So good to see you Suruchi!

      And why can't we have beer that gives a six pack instead? :p

      Delete
  31. Psst...I forgot to add: This was a perfect post in any which way!

    ReplyDelete
  32. Couldn't help laughing. Who can deny you have a way with words? As for machismo men, take the one I met a few years ago. He said he was the best economist and then no, he modestly corrected himself, second best in all of India. Then he burped and farted. Seems to me feminists have a lot of catching up to do before they can make us cringe.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yikes! that's not even civilized.
      What's with such specimens? They think they can get away with anything!

      Delete
  33. This comment has been removed by the author.

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  34. Hi Purba, I started getting goose bumps when I was reading through your post. There have been instances with me when people have thought me to be a feminist when I have spoken against the men around me or because I have a voice of my own. The same men need to learn first the exact definition of feminism. Having your own say is not that. Since you write on issues that women face daily, why don't you nominate yourself for the ITC Vivel Active Fair Choo Lo Aasmaan Awards at http://www.facebook.com/itcvivel/app_208195102528120? This award is dedicated to women like you who have brought about a change in others lives...even it is by only reading an article. All the best!!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I'm glad that my words could touch a chord.

      And it's will very embarrassing nominating myself for the award. I feel I have a long way to go.

      Delete
  35. Gender equality is still a myth. If you are a feminist you really are seen as someone who hates Men but not as someone who wants men and Women to be equal.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. The entire concept is misunderstood, perhaps deliberately.

      Delete
  36. Do you realize that the reason why feminists and their concept of feminism have never found a reasonable success nor space even amidst many women is because they have erred from not learning what history is trying to teach them... that this is a concept that can neither be established nor is sustainable basically because "it is a composition made by a race, who concerned with causes, concerns and needs of their own, ignores the other race that co-exists no matter how hard they try to ignore it." Encourse engendering, effemination has been their only success for which treatment is available.

    "If you women continue to demand your choice to work, you will so upset the economy of this country that the time will come when you will not have a choice. You will have to work."
    ~ Helen Andelin

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. The empowerment of women is closely related to a country's economic development. Since it isn't quite as clear if empowering women benefits development or if development reduces inequality between men and women, gender equality must be pushed for its own sake.

      It is in our best interests to push that equality, treat its women well and fiercely protect their rights in the workplace.

      Delete
    2. I rest my case with this p.o.v.

      Delete
  37. Wonderful post, Purba. Loved the beer belly part;) Sad part is women these days don't even realise they are subject to inequality. Wondering when things would change. Love the Feminazi!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Every mother hopes and prays that her daughter will have a much better life. And we are all trying to make that happen.

      Delete
  38. Rowwwwrrrr! I hear ya Sistah!

    ReplyDelete
  39. Hey I am with you too..! All through the post I remembered one male friend of mine- metro sexual , city bred and very modern - who cant stand it if I laughed aloud. He even said that girls shouldnt laugh loudly...!!! Can you even believe it...I laughed louder for what he said ..! However after the laughter died down I told him that it is stupid to still think that women dont have the right to laugh aloud - ever since he tagged me a feminist !

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You"ll be surprised how many will actually agree with your friend.

      Notions about how a woman should sit, conduct herself. As if we are not mature enough to decide for ourselves.

      Delete
    2. Yeah. And it is so damn irritating when there are rules on how loud a woman is allowed to laugh !

      Delete
  40. 'm no alpha male, but many of friends are stunned at my "lack of manliness" :D I never learned to drive and I sit behind my wife's bike and next to her in the care. Plus she earns more than double of what I earn.

    More power to her I say! I'm quite happy where I am.


    Bhagwad Park

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Only a man with immense self-confidence will allow his woman to soar.

      *Respect*

      Delete
  41. Umm hmm, are you looking for this kind of Alpha male?

    (Presenting Designer Rohit Verma)
    Please click here if you may :)

    I think he's still in beta phase though, a little more time for the Alpha-ism to emerge from his quarters :P

    Cheers,
    Blasphemous Aesthete

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Will refrain from judging. He/she is free to chose what he wants to be :-)

      Delete
  42. Well Said. We are born superior, but held back by traditions and customs. What is sad to know is that, When Men do something, it is considered normal, but when women do something it is considered weird. That should change. Ah-men :-)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. If we go around claiming we are the superior race, how are we being any different from men?

      Delete
  43. /A world where women can rest .....they are better. Where ego is more female than male. / This sums it up for me.:)
    Nora Ephron addressed a gathering of graduating women-"Hope you will find some way to break the 'rules' and make a little trouble out there. And I also hope that you will choose to make some of that trouble on behalf of women."
    Struggle to prove we are equal only serves to prove our lack of faith in gender equality.A little trouble making is what is required- man style and I am game.:D

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. And teach our daughters not to put up with bullshit.
      True emancipation comes from having freedom to choose.

      Delete
  44. Gender equality.... you have it if you want... you don't get it if you don't ask...

    ReplyDelete
  45. Ah men..! LOL
    points to ponder for sure.
    i raise both my kids equally :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. A forward thinking woman is the foundation of a progressive society.

      Delete
  46. I am not sure why m I tired of such articles... have read 100s of similar articles....

    I guess gender equality is the wrong target within itself....

    What we should thrive for is equilibrium

    Man and women have certain roles in the society.. we need to play(Nibhana) them genuinely.

    There are certain aspects where women score over men and there are several others which is the other way round... the quest to fit in each other shoes.... would just be a sorry state of our race.... The whole point is to play our roles to the fullest..

    i guess even animals know how to stay in equilibrium.... and play there roles..

    Its just that we have a brain of our own which thrives for concepts like equality...

    as far as equality is concerned I completely agree with Vijay Shenoy...

    There are sections of female who like to be dominated.(sense of security) are then there is another lot who have a sense of completeness while dominating(as you say bra burning feminism)

    and generally everyone gets their own way in our so called hypocrite society...

    -- Zeus
    (In case my Gender helps you form a opinion about me)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I do have a problem with gender stereotyping. Who gets to decide how a woman is expected to behave and what her role should be in society. Aren't we mature enough to decide for ourselves?

      Like Bhavana has so beautifully put - femininity is a quality and not just a gender.

      Delete
  47. Just go out and get what you want and it is as easy as that. Don't we get it? And here I am not talking about the oppressed, but those like you and me :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You'll be surprised, the kind of opposition a "free-thinking" woman faces from even the so called educated,cosmopolitan man.

      Agreed, our struggle is very different from the woman on the streets. But we all have to put up with misogynists.

      Delete
  48. I like what u replied to Ghazala there.. cannot agree more..recently while watching football with his dad my youger nephew (6) asked why there is no match like this for girls & my elder nephew (10) replied, "aarey ladkiya football nahi khelti". This monday my sister requested their games teacher to let the elder one play football in the girls team for a month :D :D

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. If all Moms could be like your sis!

      Delete
  49. A wonderful post as usual. Loved the tongue-in-cheek humor brimming with sarcasm! As long as there are dumb witted and egoistic men (and there is no dearth of them) and a few naïve women who brand and berate every forward thinking and independent (fully human as you better put) woman as a Feminist, there is desperate need for Feminazis. I feel that every man does (hopefully) have a feminine side though very few would agree to it. I have a very visible feminine side and I am glad I have it. I feel it makes you more human. I think your dream world (sans the saas bahu serials please ;)) would be very interesting and would definitely love to be a part of it.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Always so positive..always so encouraging...Thank you so much Raj :-)

      If only all of us could be less insecure and give each other space to grow. I look forward to growing old in a world like that.

      Delete
  50. hmmmmmm dont know what equality would be or what will happen when finally it comes ..

    I was brought up a certain way and I am not boasting or anything but I am sure the women in our family were and ARE equals, now just in my family but I see in many many families .. it is a famous joke that men usually dont do anything without asking their Wife's .. is that not true ..

    I think its the television and media which portray things that are not there .. I mean In our vilalge its a woman who is a sarpanch and out of the five panches 3 are women ..

    I seriously dont understand sometimes.. or maybe i live in a weird world

    Bikram's

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I'm glad that women in your village are treated with respect.

      Delete
  51. What an absolutely delightful and hilarious way to get your point across about a swapping of the gender stereotypes!

    Women are probably the only suppressed group in history to outlive their "oppressors" so to speak, and in my estimation suffer less stress related diseases as well.

    Men and women love to exaggerate their differences and the traits that signify their gender, going about it with the belief that the highly exaggerated gender stereotype is an extremely attractive reflection of their masculine or feminine natures. However, I for one am with you on this and expectantly looking forward to getting groped at a bar sometime soon.

    Here's to women being freed from their consciences and inhibitions, allowed and expected to explore fully all parts of their psyche and passions without the guilt taught to them from the moment of their birth.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. When we stereotype people on the basis of their gender, class, religious sect. we end up being intellectually lazy.

      There is no typical woman...man...Indian...We are all individuals.

      And next time when you hit the bar, try wearing pink leotards.

      Delete
  52. Ah-men to your post...strong thoughts.

    ReplyDelete
  53. Oh god, How did I miss this post. Hilarious!! The jibe at Arundati Roy was priceless :D

    ReplyDelete

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