Monday, July 16, 2012

Much ado about Pee


Image courtesy - http://mindlesslampoons.blogspot.in/


On World Population Day a storm erupted in pee cup. A Swami in Agnivesh made a candid confession about his unconventional means to divest himself of his bed- wetting past. We laughed so loud that we ended up wetting our pants. Of course it was followed by the mortal fear of what if I am made to drink my urine to get rid of what might become a habit. After all it’s not every day that a self-avowed Hindu reformist proclaims “I used to drink my own urine to prevent myself from wetting my bed”.

The statement was in support of the unnecessary controversy surrounding a Vishwa-bharati student. She was made to drink her own bodily discharge by her warden from hell. If at 10, a child is still wetting her bed, surely it’s not a psychological disorder! Her well-wishers have the birthright to inflict more trauma to free her from this shameful habit.

As a nation that takes it’s Swamis too seriously including a motor-mouth called Subramaniam, I am terrified of the damning consequences of Agnivesh’s urine therapy.

Picture this – It’s a Friday evening and you head to the neighbourhood pub, hoping for a spirited evening. On the way you narrowly miss Dhoble and order yourself a drink to soothe your frayed nerves, only to be served a suspicious yellow looking thing. The bartender happily informs you that this all new cocktail, Pee-na-colada is on the house. You now run to the washroom with the intent to puke and you’re startled by a loud CHEERS emanating from behind one of the closed doors.


You’ve had enough for the day and decide to spend the rest of evening at Barrista. The boy at the counter asks you – coffee, tea or pee?


Your appetite now gone for a toss, you walk into a bookstore desperately looking for a comforting book that you can snuggle up to. And all you can see is stacks of the newest bestseller that’s taken the world by storm - Fifty shades of Yellow by P.James.

You sleep fitfully and wake up to newspapers full of reports of parents inspired by the all new U-therapy, who have decided to rid their babies of drinking and peeing problems in one go. Huggies in keeping with market demands has now started selling diaper shaped cups. In the business section, PepsiCo is planning the mega launch of its all new drink – Pissleri. Your Blackberry pings. It’s your company’s CEO Mr Mutreja, informing you that you’ve been made in-charge of Pissleri advertising blitzkrieg.


The slogan is already floating in your mind - Kyonki Pee ke aage jeet hai.


That night you can’t sleep, petrified what Swami Agnivesh has to say to men who have wet dreams.


A special thanks to the very talented Ravi for the doodle.
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98 comments:

  1. Ha ha ha ha PEE YA BASANTI RE......kahe giraye, pee ja!!!!

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    Replies
    1. The new anthem of bathroom drinkers :D

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  2. Finally Morarji Desai's favorite has made the national headlines and you doing great service, Purba to promote the same:)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. And we remember Mr Desai more for his proclivity to pee.

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  3. [That night you can’t sleep, petrified what Swami Agnivesh has to say to men who have wet dreams.]
    ROFL ! And the song Pee loon from the movie Once upon a time in Mumbai takes on a whole new meaning :)
    And we shouldn't forget Morarji Desai here - the very first person to advocate drinking ones own pee to cure everything from piles to cataract :P

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I'm sure it works but who wants to find that out?

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  4. I will not be surprised if Swamiji tells us that he still drinks a lot of water before he goes to bed at night, so that he could sleep pee-cefully.

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    Replies
    1. I'd like to know the secret behind the colour of his saffron robe :P

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  5. hahaha :D .... pee-freshingly funny!

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  6. Poor Agnivesh, uska pee-cha chodo ;)

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    Replies
    1. He has the knack for putting his foot inside his mouth :D

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  7. pee-ish all over :) very interesting ..

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    Replies
    1. Peena yahan...marna yahan...

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  8. Look at the bright side. Swami Agnivesh has ensured that people will start recycling water, which is a scarce resource.
    Also... to Pee or Not to Pee, that is the question.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I am looking at the bright yellow side!

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  9. After reading the Shantivan story, I was suddenly very concerned for all the students at A-PEE-Jay School in Delhi...
    Hehheh...Thanks for making me laugh!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Guffaws! A-pee-jay or a A-PJ - you decide :D

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  10. why did this invention now come when I was a young and Drinking a lot :) could have helped a lot of situations .. he he he he



    Open letter to all Indians -Bikram's

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    Replies
    1. It's never too late to start!

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    2. Well I dont drink that much these days .. SO can manage :) the hour of need was then ..


      And hey on the latest post the book, It seems to be intriguing would love to read it .. I cant comment on that article for some reason ..
      Bikram's

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    3. I have disallowed comments :-)

      Delete
  11. Doesn't drinking pee make you pee? A question to be peeondered...
    nice one again.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. And not a single drop of you goes waste.

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    2. Suspicious yellow looking thing in the glass of in your profile picture...

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    3. Please edit the grammatical error, I was laughing so much lol

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    4. @Abhishekh - LOL! Do you X ray vision? That cup is opaque.

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  12. Some comments and your replies are equally hilarious....on a show Agnivesh stuck to his stand and said that the warden from hell had already helped two girls previously from bed wetting using the same remedy. It seems this was not the first case.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. He has a knack for courting controversies.
      Viswa Bharati was Tagore's dream and look what they have done to his legacy.

      Delete
  13. What next? Toilet-water harvesting? :):)

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  14. Classic. The amount of literature that documents the salubrious effects of pee is not funny however. From inflammation to wounds to infections, pee is believed to be very handy. The Shantivan episode is another story altogether and is a shame on our educators and the education system. That is not how you teach kids about the benefits of pee.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. And it's cleaner than our saliva.
      The only problem? Your social life might go for a toss.

      Delete
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  15. ha ha ha ha.........
    Pee-na-colada
    coffee tea or pee.....
    Kyonki Pee ke aage jeet hai.....too gud gud :D :P
    nd my fav cartoon character inspired :PI-KACHU : D

    ReplyDelete
  16. Hehehehee...i dont know whether to go 'eeewwwwwww' or just somehow manage to control my laughter!!
    Loved the post! Damn witty!!

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  17. Most hilarious post I read in recent past. Period. ...Pissleri! Pee-na-colada...

    ReplyDelete
  18. Why did your post end? I repeat, your honour, Why did your post end. Write a sequeal, Peequel or anything but write moreeeeeeeeeee!

    Hilarious! :D

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Because I had to......

      And glad you liked :D

      Delete
  19. PEEne wale ko PEEne ka bahana khahiye :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. And you ask yourself - have I made it large?

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  20. Swami Agnivesh should be gifted a water 'piss-tol' to keep shooting himself in his mouth.
    He would be one hell of a trigger happy soul.
    A rib tickler Purba, u got his pee doing the extra mile.lol

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  21. Purba,

    You are at it again and OMG! Your last line was too hilarious.

    Take care

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  22. OMG! this is too hilarious... :)

    ReplyDelete
  23. By the way, let me introduce you to Melvin
    http://www.melvindurai.com/humorcolumns.html

    ReplyDelete
  24. Really howllarious .... sharing this and hoping it goes viral

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  25. They can plead all they want - Pee-na-(colada)... Great post! Some of the comments are a-musing too. Can't stop smiling!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Puns galore - loved replying to them.

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  26. haha nice one. Loved the "coffee, tea or pee" part! :-D

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Try this line on your guests next time.

      Delete
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    ReplyDelete
  28. Yuck disgusting...... :P

    Take a break listen to this song... :)

    http://youtu.be/D8XFTglfSMg

    ReplyDelete
  29. what a peesfull article..hilarious... the one thing i culd picture right now is imran hashmi singing to prachi: Peee looon.... and ajay devagn responds: eww that's Peethateic

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  30. I wonder what goes through HIS mind when he sees so many peeing, just for no use.......

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  31. eeeks....What if it really happens! omg!
    But,the whole Vishwa Bharati episode sounds abhorrent and feudal!! sic....

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. It is Panchali. And you feel sorry for an institution that's well past it's hey-days.

      Delete
  32. Brilliant! Just brilliant! :)

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  33. Mallya would do well to launch a new beverage named KingPisser...Never thought agnivesh was capable of talking like an idiot

    Cheers
    CRD

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. LOL @ Kingpisser. Have you tried suggesting it Mallya?

      Delete
  34. That was Hilarious Purba! So spontaneous. Special appreciation for Ravi. Looking forward to reading more stuff of yours!

    ReplyDelete
  35. A good humour entails a witty brain. That you have proved time and again. So is your language.

    "the liveliest effusions of wit and humour are conveyed to the world in the best chose language".

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. More wicked than witty :D

      Humbled by your effusive praise.

      Delete
  36. OMG.. I am afraid I have to say that was a pee-licious post! Dripped in satire and fully loaded with Pee and its potential influence on one and all. Rip-roaringly hilarious post! :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. A few of my readers felt I could do justice to pee. Simply pandering to their demands :-)

      Delete
  37. Pee-na-colada!!!
    I cannot order it again!! :D
    And seriously a very entertaining post as usual

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Never liked Pee-na-colada in the first place :p

      Delete
  38. A Swami in Agnivesh!! LOL, super usage. Pissleri!! The cartoon is also very good.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yep..Ravi is one talented caricaturist.

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    2. OOps, my sense of gratitude slipped....thank you Joshi, Purba (@ the cost of repetition :)

      Delete
  39. Morarji's soul will now RIP: Super post, Purba!

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    Replies
    1. Hahaha...Morarji can now look forward to meeting Agnivesh in heaven.

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  40. "Kyonki Pee ke aage jeet hai"

    I almost fell off reading that :D

    You always crack me up Purba !

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I hope you didn't get hurt :0

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  41. hilarious :D...i read ur tweets about Agnivesh too..i hope he never comes in front of u...or god save him! :D

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    Replies
    1. Or he will pee in his robe?

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    2. ha ha ha,...that would be quite a sight! :D

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  42. Swamiji is a pee-llar of this pee-vish society :D Great post! :D

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  43. Unfortunate as the girl's incident was, you woven a pee-nteresting post around it :D

    ReplyDelete
  44. Quite amusing post ... :-)

    keep posting ...

    ReplyDelete

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