Sunday, September 30, 2012

Maid out of India

Image - courtesy Google



Imagine a woman who can cook a seven course meal with a beatific smile plastered on her face! She breaks into an aria when her kid comes back home in soiled clothes. Cleaning utensils is her lifelong passion. She scours and scrubs from morn to noon and still manages to look like a million bucks and dance like Kareena Kapoor. Her occasional back pain is taken care of by MOOV massaged lovingly by the husband. Next morning she’s up at five – lovingly rolling out mooli paranthas for her family.

We don’t want to be that woman, we want that woman. So much, that we are willing to change our sexual preferences, make her our own and live happily ever after. But don’t we all know such a woman is more a fantasy of an ad maker who is pimping the all new healthy cooking oil made from soybean?

In reality women hate housework and will do anything to avoid it. Why! we are even willing to go to work and put up with a boss whose evil machinations will put even a Shakti Kapoor to shame.

In fact, I suspect most married women go to office either to avoid their MIL’s or mind numbingly boring chores. I mean, who in their right mind would prefer spending this gift called life, grating cabbage, stewing lentils and cleaning cobwebs while hanging precariously from a stool!

Had Marie Curie been more interested in baking rather than flirting with danger in her lab, would she ever have discovered Radium? Had a certain Mrs Gandhi been more focussed on perfecting the recipe for Spaghetti Bolognese, it would have been impossible for her to promote her son and remote control an entire nation!

The truth is household chores are the greatest obstacle between a woman and greatness. I have a deep suspicion that they were created to prevent us from contemplating on the truths and falsities of life.

Little wonder, behind every successful and happy man is a hardworking woman and behind every successful and happy woman is a hardworking maid.


In India we have the luxury of being a true blue Memsahib. Delve on the true purpose of life while Maria takes care of our hyper active kids who need a new activity every 20 minutes. Come home to a clean house, cooked meals after a hectic day at the mall. In the evening, as we run on the treadmill, we wonder aloud why we are still putting on so much weight.

An Indian woman’s biggest fear is being deserted by her maid. In fact, if given a choice she’ll readily choose her housemaid over her husband. Yes, we love her that much.

I was preparing myself to live out my worst nightmare when we were about to move to a foreign land across seven seas. The first two weeks were terrible – of having to cook and clean. It didn’t help that I’m blessed with a vision that can spot even the minutest speck of dust/hair on the carpet and floors. I would often accuse my husband of shedding too much hair. I was missing the luxury of home delivery. As I walked long distances lugging heavy bags of groceries, fearing that my arms will come out their sockets, any minute, I would do a quick re-enactment in my head, imagining myself writhing in agony, trying to make a phone call help using my toe nails.

Coming home dead-tired and famished only to realize there was no warm meal waiting for me. Cooking with unfamiliar ingredients, alien looking knobs, spending one hour trying to figure how to make the exhaust work! One balmy afternoon, it reached a crescendo and I burst into tears.

From a desi Mem, I had now become a videshi maid.

It’s been a month of my maid-less existence. Time for me is a luxury now. But strangely I’ve never felt better. Back home my moods were dictated by their tantrums, my routine governed by their schedule. From morning to noon I was running in and out of the house, to make sure I was home to open the door for my helps. My idea of a bad morning was the cleaning lady taking the day off. I would turn a blind eye to chipped glasses, non-stick pans scrubbed clean off their coating, oversalted curries, runny daal, all for the sake of my peace of mind. What’s more I was constantly making up excuses on their behalf. Her husband beats her up every weekend, so what if she broke the new tea-pot. She’s a cook, not a Masterchef contestant!

It was as if I had become a slave to the convenience of having a help.

Now, I work hard, cuss harder as I manage the house. But you know what, I am eating what I like and not what my cook is capable of preparing. I can walk out of the house anytime to meet my brand new friends, explore the city on my own, walk on the riverfront, the wind blowing through my sparse hair , walk in to the bank and scream – David! Where’s my credit card!

In Gurgaon, all I needed to do was make a phone call.

Does it mean I’m championing the cause of slavery to household tasks? Absolutely not. It’s about knowing that happiness should not be a slave to an orderly house. Believing that a pile of dirty dishes can wait a few more hours so that the husband can clean them when he gets back …

It’s about working on a state of mind that won’t let a dirty house mess with it.

If Lord Buddha had to keep the house clean, chop vegetables and throw the garbage, he wouldn’t have had the time to escape to the forest to seek enlightenment under the Bodhgaya tree and invent a new religion!

So, why should I let laundry come between greatness and me?
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139 comments:

  1. Ha ha..
    yes, for the state of mind that wont let a dirty home mess with it :-)

    ReplyDelete
  2. Hahahaahaha. You know what? When my help goes away for the weekend, I ignore the dirty house and we live off subway. Am I on my way to greatness? Kaam karvaogi mujhse! I will have to invent a new religion and have fatwas called on me by sundry dharam ke thekedaars

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. The best way to ignore the mess around, is to take off your specs, stretch your legs and ring for home-delivery.

      Oh! how I miss home-delivery.

      Delete
  3. This comment has been removed by the author.

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  4. Purba,

    You brought out known fact with wit that we do a lot of pampering of maids for our convenience. However once a maid knows that lady of the house can do everything without any difficulty, she will not throw any tantrums.

    Take care

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    Replies
    1. They may be a boon for the busy homemaker but their tantrums are legendary.

      Delete
  5. Now-a-day, Males don't really care about the floors being highly reflective or if they don't get clean and fresh clothes to wear. I wonder if this is going to help the Females :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Housework should not be the sole responsibility of the woman and is meant to be shared equally.

      Delete
    2. That is a very sexist thought Mr Bibek! Sigh, only if men knew we could do with subji without salt or dal without tadka that men could churn out!

      Delete
  6. Living in Gurgaon we are so used to home delivery....everything is a phone call away. Slowly one gets used to the new lifestyle.
    ...washing dishes together can be very romantic.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Err...really? You must upload a demo on YouTube.

      Delete
  7. LOL on all counts.

    My maid just didn't make an appearance today. There's a wash basin full of dirty dishes and I am not hyperventilating.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Good on you. Now leave the house and don't come back till the dishes are done!

      Delete
  8. Enjoyed this one...should visit more often...I do love the way you write...about all those things we think but never write down...you do it so effortlessly...A Beaut!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. And it's so great to see you after such a long time! How have you been?

      Delete
  9. I discovered the difference in my attitude when in videsh employed, and when not. When I had a 10-hr workday, I would put the dishwasher on with just 5 dishes because I didn't have the energy to clean even those. Vacuuming happened once a month. Dinner went from the freezer to the microwave to my plate. Now that I have all the time in the world, I vacuum every week, scrub dishes as soon as they start piling up, cook fresh dinners for the husband, and present him with hot chai as soon as he walks in. His smile is so satisfying ! But already I'm feeling pangs of guilt for letting my brilliant mind go to waste.......ah well, just for a while. :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. This too shall pass. And till then Sid can revel in his biwi ka pyar :-)

      Delete
  10. Wow! I need to take up all that gyaaan to start my journey towards greatness. ;-) Hope you're having a nice time! I am missing your regular blog updates…please be back with an update soon!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Settling in a new country, setting up the house is taking so much of my time that the blog has taken a backseat. I'm hoping this too shall pass :-)

      Delete
  11. A journey to independence - sort of :-)

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  12. your posts are always a treat...write more often :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. So glad you like what I write.

      Delete
  13. How well I know the feeling of being held hostage by the appearance or non appearance of the help, and in the "cook-less" month past, I've come to the exact same conclusion that you have!

    I'd go on, but I'd end up repeating that I agree with everything you said in this post, except for one bit, I dont think Im going to be very successful at breaking the tyranny of household tasks,because dirty dishes/house depress me far more than not having time to do my own thing and I know thats not the healthiest state of mind, but still...

    ReplyDelete
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    1. I completely get that. The sight of unwashed dishes and a dirty house can be very unsettling. Rather get it done with than having to bear with the weight of unfinished chores.

      But you know what, if we don't learn to let go, we"ll constantly be caught in this unending cycle of housework.

      Delete
    2. I agree, letting go is also something Im working at. I guess what makes it difficult is the idea that if I let it go this time, I might make a habit of it.

      That said, Im too addicted to the net, reading, painting etc to be as particular about a clean house as my mother still is, which is why I keep telling her that the world will not end if she takes care of herself once in a while as opposed to killing herself in cleaning up after the maid has "dusted" ;)

      Delete
  14. Ha! Here's a nice tidbit: if you find there's just way too much to do, do what my sister did. She called me over to her house in San Francisco.

    What I thought would be a holiday turned out to be a month's training in domestic work, with a handful of meals and glasses of wine thrown in to "keep up the tempo". I was brought in to do all the heavy stuff: moving furniture around, carpet cleaning, vacuuming hard-to-reach areas, diaper change.

    At least I came back with a "certificate" that is held in high regard!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Are you suggesting you are just a call away?
      Don't tempt your fate, Kartikay!

      Delete
    2. Now if only all sisters and mothers did that. Taught their sons/brothers to be at least capable enough of helping! Well, who am I kidding, this friend of mine who loves cooking and does cook up some real yummy stuff has decided that he won't lift a finger once he's married. He's an engineer working in IT. What can I say!

      Delete
  15. Yeah when I was little I used to live in India. The maids practically did everything. Shocker when you migrate and realise that you've gotta do it all on your own- from cooking to cleaning to making your house your own, but I've been with the latter more so, so I just fall into pattern.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yep, we learn to get used to it and move on :-)

      Delete
  16. That's the best part of living abroad. You don't have to wait for any maids and your day is in your hands as to how you manage it. That's the main thing that scares me too when we think of moving back. Who would deny pampering of ourselves when there are so many facilities available? Enjoyed the post.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. All situations have their fair share of positives/negatives and we learn to make the best of what we get.

      Delete
  17. Lol! Good one Purba. I must admit even though we had a maid in India it was mainly for sweeping and mopping. My parents being so OCD still dusted the house before and after she came. My mum could not bear to see utensils piling up in the sink and would do them straightaway. So unfortunately (or fortunately) we got trained as well. Coming here of course I have to do it all. No mum or dad to help out. And I find it funny when I go back to visit India and people ask me how I spend my weekends --- thinking I go out clubbing and dancing and movies and what not --- and I tell them I do my laundry, clean my house, do my grocery shopping, cook for the week ahead and if I have time, then catch up with friends! :P Maids are a godsend...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. And the to-do list never ends. Just when you are about to heave a sigh of relief and new one crops up!

      Time to start a "say no to housework" campaign.

      Delete
  18. Purba, every dark cloud has a silver lining! With all the walking to collect groceries and cooking them to your own taste now you need not waste time on treadmill. I little bending and cleaning the house would help in exercising the back and other parts of the body so far out of practice!I am sure with a little more time spent in the lovely environs of Brisbane you will be a happier and more independent soul to guide others around:)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Rahul, despite the walking and back-breaking chores, I haven't given up on my treadmill. Old habits die hard.

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  19. So how tired and delirious were you when you wrote the final 2-3 paragraphs!
    It's going to be all right. Tough times always pass. You can try to find yourself a Philippino maid :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. It took a resolution rich in iron to finish this post. Come what may, I have to sit and finish this write-up.

      And why I did, I was delirious with joy :-)

      Delete
  20. Oh my God Purba I cannot agree more..I have a toddler at home who is taken care of my maid, while I go to office which is only a five minute walk away. However leaving the house is not an issue , leaving my child with her is. Given the priorities and respect she gets , I am actually the maid. I give in to whatever she asks, excuse her absence for a day, and smile gleefully at chapped non stick pans. Just so that if I get angry or show a face, she will show that to my kid. Now my priority is to make her happy, my child comes second! What a life...I wish I could stay at home and look after him... but in a year or so he will go to play school and I will never find a job ever...so I am putting up with the lady! She is not evil after all :-) I was going through this article like someone with a good vocabulary is voicing my thoughts !

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Because you both know, that it's because of her you can leave the house for your job. That your child is taken care of...

      I have gone through this phase, when my child was young and I had started working again.

      Delete
  21. Ha ha ha ha ha ha.... do you get grapes out there? The sour ones I mean......humnein bola tha......ta ta bye bye kehne ko? ab bhugto!

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  22. Have seen both sides of the story and frankly I did not miss my maid in UK. It was bliss not to bear their tantrums. Back in India life without a maid is unimaginable with the kind of dust and dirt we have here.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I agree. And I know when I get back, the first thing I'll do is look for a maid.

      Delete
  23. Glad you're enjoying not being held to ransom by maids. As your title so succinctly suggests, there is a flip side. With practice and with a little Indian ingenuity you'll deal with it expertly in no time. I often wonder if I would ever have discovered my love for writing if I were still in India as hatching plots and creating characters need a lot of "alone" time.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I'm staying away from Indian cooking, Saves a lot of chopping and endless utensils :-)

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    2. Food processor zindabad!

      Delete
  24. I had a house maid, I went for to UK for 2 years, got a reality check and when I came back I managed without the maid. I dont have one now. My mom never had one ever!!She is one magic woman.

    But sometimes its nice to enjoy both the worlds!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Wow, Jenny. It's not easy to survive without helps especially when you are in India.

      Delete
  25. Well, to paoo something, you lost a maid. :) I know you miss them, you should send them greeting cards, and tell them how much you remember them each time you cut into a lentil.

    On the other hand, I know you're loving it, so its worth the adventure. No?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Surprisingly I don't miss them at all.

      To win some, you gotta lose some and I'm okay with it :-)

      Delete
  26. Nice to see the saga of Australian adventures starting after the Gurgaon saga. Indeed house maids and servants are a great luxury in India. But then our bosses make it up by making us slave at office. Abroad we get enough time off from office to still have time for ourselves even after doing household chores I guess.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yes! the husband is back home on time barring the occasional tele-con!

      Delete
    2. Yep that's the pro part - despite working for a full 9 hour day you still have so much time to enjoy the evenings, go for a run in the morning, play some sports, catch up with people in addition to doing the housework. But we got to admit, its not so dusty there so its a little easier. Vacuuming once a week works just fine!

      Delete
  27. Hahaha! :D That's a good one!! :)
    Loved the thought, "working on a state of mind that wont let a dirty house mess with it." This is something that I need to work on seriously! For the want of a neat and clean home, I can forego my food and will not rest till everything is in order (when the maid is on leave!) :P

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Shilpa, we all need to work to achieve that state of mind. And once we do, it will be Nirvana.

      Delete
  28. Have I ever told you this? I love you. Truly I do :) Now I can give people a reason why my room and home are messy. I do not want the chores of cleaning to come on my way while I am thriving to greatness :)

    Hope you will get used to the life in Brisbane soon. Hugs :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Next time someone accuses you of sloth, quote this

      My theory on housework is, if the item doesn't multiply, smell, catch fire, or block the refrigerator door, let it be. No one else cares. Why should you? ~Erma Bombeck

      Delete
  29. Ha ha ...I went through all this just last month and I really know how it feels :)

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  30. Haila... completely hilarious.... right, you should not let laundry coming between you and greatness... soooper :P

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. The pile of unwashed laundry is directly proportional to greatness :P

      Delete
  31. Meri maid mujhse koi nahin cheen sakta. At the cost of forsaking nirvana, I shall not wash utensils and sweep and mop. Ab tera kya hoga Purba *evil grin?*

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Sigh...I will soon be writing posts on how to keep your home clean and bright.

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    2. hehe Chinta mat kar yaar, maid sab saaf rakhti hai :). I love to cook as long as someone else does the dishes. Why do you think I ran away from the US? ;P

      Delete
  32. Mrs Gandhi is interested in making spaghetti -- and she's also running the country!

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  33. Two of my friends returned this year for good after two spending decades in UK.They only asked for a maid and a driver.Just saying!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hope they will have a happily ever after life in India :-)

      Delete
    2. But then, happiness is an elusive bitch ...we agreed in your last post!They are now (un)happy cribbing about potholes and corruption in India :D

      Delete
    3. Hahahahaa....really?? Tell them to get used to it.

      Delete
  34. My mom hates to do dishes. I knew it since the day I understood "doing dishes"

    Once there was a pile up and she was not back from home, I knew how upset she will be because maid has not yet turned up, I did dishes.

    I was 7 something that time, it took me 2 - 3 hrs... I remember.

    when she came back, I was just cleaning sink, last wash you know..

    She was in a fix, to be happy or sad, hahahahahhaahaha

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. What an incredibly sweet gesture!

      I'm sure she brags about it to all her friends.

      Delete
  35. I couldn't stop laughing after this one! Laundry card between u n greatness! Awesome...

    I bet the person ur missing the most in Brisbane is your Bai! :D

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    Replies
    1. The Australian government turned down her visa :P

      Delete
  36. "she was not back from work"

    Silly mistake. :)

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  37. Btw, 2 very different things I noticed in your writing this time...
    1) the word aria...never read in a blog before...kudos...
    2) and u used a short term for morning...thats a first as far as i can recall!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Lol...you make me feel like a school kid.
      Thank you for noticing.

      Delete
    2. he he,...reminding u of ur teacher days! :)

      Delete
  38. Psst! Men hate household chores as much or more :) Why do you think we fobbed it off on the women for lo these many generations? :)

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  39. I couldn't agree more!!!! Nice post !

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  40. Loved your post! Being a college student who has 2 years of work experience , i actually dread going back to the working world only cause I'll have to manage the darn house!! & manage maid tantrums!
    Loved your line-"We dont want to be that woman, we want that woman!" Have always daydreamed about this superwoman!! Am so glad there are others who contemplated sex change for this reason too ;) Just saying :)
    Also found you accusing your husband of shedding too much hair hilarious!! :D

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. When you are single and busy, nobody but you cares for an unkempt house.

      It's up to you to decide, what your priorities should be :-)

      Delete
  41. Ah, once we decide to take away the power of the maid to screw our happiness, we are truly liberated. Of course one's health should also be able to take the physical work. But as you have discovered, we begin prioritizing our work and find time for things that we never did before going maid-less. We never had maids when I was growing up and all of us shared the work, including my father and brothers.

    Have fun and freedom when you can for you will have to come back and become the hostage of your maids all over again :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. The maid culture is a recent phenomenon. We grew up with hired helps because my mother went to work. But I don't remember her pandering to all their whims.

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  42. agree on the Lord Buddha one... give it a try :)

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    Replies
    1. I have to start looking for a large, shady tree.

      Delete
  43. Maids are one reason i donot ever want to live abroad..LOL

    My sympathies to you. Loved the line, women go to office to escape MILs and household work :))

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    Replies
    1. I had a similar logic before we moved here :-)

      Delete
  44. Excellent page, I will be checking back often to find up-grades. From India

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  45. You may not believe it but this post is like a refreshing tea early in the morning. It set me back on the track. lovely post.
    keep inspiring !!!

    You got the pulse dear 'women go to office to escape...'
    :))

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    Replies
    1. I hope the tea tastes like the finest Darjeeling :-)

      Delete
  46. My wife almost strangulated me when she went through similar emotions when we were in phoren lands. I was living there before we were married, so I was used to the whole routine of cleaning, cooking, washing etc. She was royalty who was thrown into a nightmare. My whole idea of getting some seva out of her flew out of the window.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Seva is the keyword here. The gender of the facilitator is immaterial.

      And I have observed that newly married men are willing to go to any lengths to make their better halves happy :p

      Delete
    2. Oh yes. I can write a book on that. :P
      I did make her very happy. From making a new variety of pasta every weekend to buying her a 100 pounds overcoat from Debenhams to taking her to Paris on our honeymoon, I did it all.
      We were broke when we returned.

      Delete
  47. Yes Purba, its true but he will go to any lengths for a couple of months only....

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  48. Hi Purba

    I am able to PERFECTLY relate to your post....I moved to SIngapore with a one yr old baby and yes was a Videshi maid cum mem for almost a year....ha ha ....

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  49. Purba, i love your writup so much! And it makes me smile as I write this to you at 8.30 in the morning, started my day at office! If you know what I mean. A woman is capable of doing more than she thinks she can, and we are perfect examples! Duh we are living legends ;)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. We are. Pity that we have to put up a fight to make others realize our greatness :-)

      And thank you so much for your kind words.

      Delete
  50. Honesty is the best policy, this is what i get to know! Every time i read your posts.! Will come more often! Stay blessed and give your cent percent to honesty! :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Honesty is indeed the best policy as long as it's not at the cost of someone else's happiness :-)

      Delete
  51. This is a part of the culture shock! You will be all right!

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    Replies
    1. I had stayed in Chicago for sometime. Guess I was more amenable to work back then :-)

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  52. You are so right. My mood used to be totally dependent on my maid and nanny turning up on time for work. However, over the last two years I have learnt to make my time and family my own. So though I can't manage completely without domestic help (I work about 100 hours over a six-seven day week), I now don't have a meltdown when one of them messes up or just doesn't turn up.

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    Replies
    1. Exactly! we often behave as if it's the end of the world. I'm so glad you are able to deal with it so well.

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  53. hahahahaha..like the post very much..we are actually so much controlled by our maids that we are actually slave to them and you said it right that we love our maids more than our husbands..:D

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Psst...make sure he never finds out :D

      Delete
  54. Lol! There are times when I too feel like relinquishing the status of "being under the maid's thumb"....but greed of not cooking meals and cleaning up everyday maintains the status quo...good post!

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    Replies
    1. It's because of them we enjoy some me time!

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  55. Lovely musings....Maids are the new movable assets. There have been times when I have waited outside salon while the maid gets her eyebrows done!! That was my level of insecurity:)

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  56. I think we are really lucky to have maids for every household work in India. We have one too but we still do most of the cooking ourselves. My MIL stays in London and every time I visit I feel amazed at how much these women abroad juggle. Housework, voluenteering in schools, churches, charity,doing crafts and even homeschooling their kids which are Atleast 3-4 in number. They really redefine the definition of super mums. Hope you are able to adjust soon. :)

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    Replies
    1. Absolutely...always on the move, contributing to charities, having a good time with friends and managing a house...

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    2. Kahin na kahin, I believe that is also because they do not end up cooking for hours at a stretch - breakfast is simple do-it-yourself stuff, snacks are fruits not elaborate concoctions, laundry is done once a week not always by the lady of the house. The man handles the yard maintenance etc. Men actually do help out a lot more and kids are taught to be independent and help out with chores. A far cry. A friend's mom still asks her DIL to give her hubby a spoonful of Chyawanprash every morning. He's 34. Some of us never let their kids grow up! Its a far cry!

      Delete
  57. Oh, so you are no more in Indis..! Well... fret not and do not give up :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yes, it's been more than a month now :-)

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  58. You are fantastic Purba Ray! Brilliant read this post :D

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  59. It can be experienced more in abroad. In India , maid has reduced some burden but has increased more dependecy on maid.
    Good one ...

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  60. oh yes , why shud you let that happen.. please dont and when yoyu reach that greatness that absolute nirvana please dont forget the mere mortals like me .. :)

    I wish earned enough to have a maid here .. but wishes dont always comes true tch tch tch
    I am sure when you go back you can enjoy both sides of the world :)

    Bikram's

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I'm sure you value your freedom more than the convenience of hiring a help.

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  61. LOL. I am no big fan of housework either, don't get me wrong. I like to keep a clean house and cook enough that I don't end up eating out every day. But then that does not mean that I would spend 8 hours in the kitchen. The less the better. Efficiency is the need of the hour. But don't be mistaken. There are ladies (I personally know one!) who love to cook 4 course meals for their husbands twice a day in addition to breakfast and 'snakes', clean and iron their laundry in addition to their own, sweep, brush yada yada. When I had to take a break from work for a while in the US, I would be done with my volunteering activities and housework by the time hubby got back from work so I could go join the boys for vollley ball. This female I used to invite (she wasn't a very sports person, but just get out of the house once in a while for heaven's sake without worrying about what bug will bite you or what allergy you might develop or whether you should cook carrot or not because of its sugar content or if you should avoid cabbage for thyroid?) and I was told she cannot because that's the time when she cooks. Well, I shut up. She cooked and I played but we both had dinner! PS: Just because its not prepared in the last 2 hours, does not mean its stale! I am not a big fan of cooking, I like to say I am one of those people who cook to live and not live to cook, I am not against the housewives (they do a lot of work too!) but I feel there's so much more to do in life than grating cabbage and cleaning coriander! I have this inane desire to yell out at some people 'Get a life!' Sorry about the extra long comment!

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    1. It's our priorities, dear. We do what we think is right. Some of us exist to make others happy, some of us are too free spirited to confine ourselves to domesticity. To each her own :-)

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  62. I can understand it is totally different when we come to a foreign land and the changes it offers to our lives. And going from having a maid to not having one I guess is certainly a big one. And I totally agree that household work can wait a little longer or even may be forever in our quest to be happier and lead a more fulfilling life. I am so glad that you are taking that walk on the river front and exploring the city and spending time with friends. It is indeed time to forget about the cobwebs.

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  63. Being a woman is not easy and I fully understand the complications. But I must say, your take on household chores I feel was not entirely right.

    In our country where we go the coventional way of life (ie men education and women household), there are few choices for women. However, it is her choice(s) that influnce what she becomes later in her life.

    In short, yeah. We must have more women empowerment.

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  64. those ads really want to make u scream foul ! such a delightful read this was! now i can explain to hubby dearest why I should not let all this housework come in between me and my greatness.... :)

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