Thursday, November 29, 2012

To You, My Dear Child

This is what I wrote for Glad2baWoman.com...

Image courtesy - Google images



To You, My Dear Child



My dear child,

When I first cradled you in my arms, I couldn’t believe that something so perfect could be borne out of love. The hours of sweat and anguish of unimaginable pain vanished in seconds as I looked into your unseeing eyes. And then you cried, so hard and so long that the nurses were convinced I was torturing you in secret.

That’s when I realized - motherhood is not for the fainthearted.

For over a year my life became an endless cycle of burps, poop and pee. I would sleep fitfully dreaming of clouds that looked like nappies. I looked like a cow, felt like a cow and smelt of curdled milk. It was as if the planetary positions had shifted and I had become a satellite helplessly revolving around you.

You evoked the strangest feelings in me. I was so afraid for you and was willing to go to any lengths to protect you from this harsh world. Anyone who tried to harm you became my worst enemy.

It was you and me against the rest of the world.


For you I let go of my dreams, my vanity, and girlhood, not out of duty but out of love. When you looked at me with eyes brimming with love, every inch of me tingled with joy… When you held my fingers for the first time…your gurgling laughter…the first time you called me Maa… these became the most precious moments of my life.

Of course you don’t remember the first day when I sent you off to school! The sleepless nights I spent in anxiety, worrying how my baby will cope in the sea of unknown. Waiting anxiously at the gate for you to come back…Scooping you up in my arms, nuzzling my head in your warmth….The dawn of awareness that I needed you as much as you needed me.


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54 comments:

  1. There is no bond in this world as that between a mother and her child... A child is always special for its mother no matter its gender, colour, size, height etc., This is a great expression as a mother... Every child who learn to live from its mother become a rationalist when he/she attains a higher age... They forget that it is their mother who has brought them up to this level... Your mother might not know about Science and technologies or about Computers or the films you watch or the books you read but she knows you... Such a nice letter... Hats off!!!

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    1. But there comes a time when children outgrow their Mothers. The transition period is the most difficult to accept.

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  2. Purba, nicely written. " I looked like a cow, felt like a cow and smelt of curdled milk" :) Same with me :) And I loved the milky smell of my baby's mouth.

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    1. During early early motherhood, we are constantly switching gears between heaven and hell :-)

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  3. Paens have been written about motherhood but your words give an entire new perspective to the expirience. It was worth being a cow for a year.....
    A heartfelt post. I guess you are missing ur little one....lots.

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    Replies
    1. Hahaha...it was indeed!

      Yes, I am but life, relationships are not meant to remain unchanged.

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  4. Remarkable issues here. I’m very satisfied to peer your article. Thank you so much and I am having a look forward to touch you. Will you please drop me a mail?

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  5. I wish you'd begin your series of bumbling mother's diary. The emotions are heartfelt and one can identify with them even after becoming a grandma :) As Alka has observed, you are missing Tee, aren't you?

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    1. I meant restart the series....

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    2. Awfully. But I'm happy that she's transitioning into a independent minded woman.

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  6. What a heartfelt post! It must be tough on you, but you are doing a great job lady! A sensitive post and will strike a chord with every parent.

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    1. Rachna, I'd rather not mope over what I don't have. I am happy that she's happy.

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  7. HAd me all teary eyed, Purba. You spoke for each one of us out there - beautiful!

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    Replies
    1. The original content was far more emotional :-)

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  8. Purba,

    Navigated and read but could not leave my comment there. Feelings of a mother beautifully narrated and absolutely right advice too. Live by own conscience rather than forced norms.

    Take care

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    1. I think you need a Facebook account to comment on that forum.

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  9. This made me cry! You write so well :)
    I miss my mom everyday..

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    Replies
    1. Aw...I'm sure she misses you as much.

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  10. Awesome and I bet the 18 year old young Adult is equally chuffed reading all this and YES learn from mistakes go and make your own for sure ...

    and I loved the lines Cherish your past, focus on your present and look forward to a future you’ve worked for.

    wonderful

    Bikram's

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    Replies
    1. She's having her exams and I didn't even tell her that I had written this. But she did and is now blaming me for making her cry :-)

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    2. awww bless her...

      hope the exams are going on fine

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  11. I posted a comment on the other site and it can't be seen? :(
    Anyway, could there be a better letter than this from a mom to a daughter? Beautifullll..... :)You spoke the voice of all mothers :)

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    Replies
    1. Your comment has been published but under the unverified category. Guess you need to comment using your FB account.

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  12. The sweetest post ever!! I always tear up on reading about another mom-baby bonding letter!!

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    1. You nurture them, give them your best and spend the autumn of your life watching them bloom.

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  13. A lovely ode from mother to a daughter!Beautiful expression. My comment from the other site too has gone missing:(

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    Replies
    1. Nope, it is there. All you have to do is scroll down.

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  14. Wonderful.
    The relationship that a mother has with her child is well portrayed with minimum words.

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    Replies
    1. Never take the reader's attention span for granted :-)

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  15. Ahem! No experiences here but I liked what you wrote. :P
    I liked the let-go part. That is something a majority of parents fail to do and end up being Amrish Puri.

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    Replies
    1. Correction - majority of Indian parents :-)

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  16. This is such a different post...a truly motherly post!!! What lovely words and advice..."All I can say is, don’t be afraid to make mistakes. It’s from them you learn." I wish you were my mom.

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    Replies
    1. Have been getting a lot of daughterly requests lately :-)

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  17. Beautiful composition purba...very thoughtful and heart rendering, I fell in love with your writing!

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  18. Such a nice composition.....

    http://debnature.blogspot.in

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  19. Perfect ...the words depicts emotions of each stage of a Woman being a Mom

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    Replies
    1. And each stage teaches you something new.

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  20. OmG! Just what i felt and feel whenever i look into the eyes of my kids, however old they might be! They are still the tiny, helpless little fledgling to me... :)


    Lovely. lovely post. Straight from the heart, to one!

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    1. You realize this was the best stage of your life, only after you've moved past it :-)

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  21. wonderful post, I felt as if I wrote it. we mothers go through same phase with lot anxieties, fears and expectations. we are wary of making mistakes, but can we help it! These very mistakes help us to evolve as a better mother, better person.

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    1. Couldn't agree more, Meenakshi :-)

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  22. It is so close to what I would like to say to my daughter one day.Thanks for giving words to these wonderful feelings.

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    Replies
    1. Delighted that you could relate to it.

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  23. mother baby bond beautifully described..

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  25. wow! beautifully put! All mothers would relate to this :)

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