Monday, July 1, 2013

For Blogger or For Worse

She is BlogwatiG. When we met last year on Blogosphere, we had a Jab We Met moment and decided we have a sizzling chemistry. It's been over one and a half years and we haven't changed our minds or our husbands. A tigress who prowls the big bad jungles confidently and roars her disapproval every time she encounters injustice, she is never afraid to fight her own and her friends battles. A blogger of repute and founder of the immensely popular forum IndiBlogeshwaris, she is my Kohinoor.

Of course, she never tires of pulling my leg and does exactly that in this guest post......


“It’s been over a year. I think the time has come to take this relationship to the next level. You know you mean the world to me. And I would never do anything to hurt you. I’d rather hurt myself…….”

Her eyes, limpid pools gently strumming the ripples of love and admiration, bore testimony to what she’d just heard. Deep in her heart, she knew, this was meant to be. Her heart ached for she knew every word that was bespoken was true. This treasure was hers to keep.

“And hence, this is what I have for both of us. Good times or bad, this will sail us through”
Dear Lord, could this be what she thought it was? Nothing quite prepared her for what followed next. She opened the sealed envelope with trembling fingers.

“This is what I’d like to call B-NUP, a Blogger Nuptial.”
She was speechless.

“Well considering that you have been blogging for years before me, this seemed like a step in the right direction.”

She stared in disbelief at the contract that read thus.


To whomsoever it may concern. 

  1. It is agreed that the bloggers in question will visit each other’s blog and lavish praise even if they have been having a hard day. This particularly stands true when the maid has not come in to work, phir bhi Bajate raho! 
  2. It is agreed that no blogger will be allowed to be more famous than the other at any given juncture as it amounts to unpleasantness. In the event that one blogger has more fan following than the other, the lesser known blogger to be compensated with a share in the famous blogger’s social net-worth. We believe this would be Zindagi ke saath bhi, zindagi ke baad bhi.
  3. It is agreed that all comments will have to be followed with tiny hearts and 'awwwwws' to enforce the love and affection the bloggers feel (or not). PDA is encouraged and every ‘love you’ will be taken as the ultimate example of dedication, Kyunki yeh bujhaye sirf pyaas, baki sab bakwas.
  4. It is agreed that the bloggers will hang out in common social networking circles at all times. No solitary participation will be encouraged. Together we can. Akhirkaar, Jo tera hai, woh mera hai.
  5. It is agreed that new friendships will be strictly forged for professional reasons only. If either blogger is found interacting with newbies beyond the realm of pleasantries, it will be considered as breach of trust even if you think Aaj kuch toofani karte hain.
  6. It is agreed that coloured opinions of the dominion is an acceptable form of communication. The bloggers must conform to each other’s thoughts and present themselves as a united front at all times. Unilateral thinking is always advantageous, Dobaara mat poochna
  7. It is agreed that being judgemental is a fundamental right. To be strictly executed beyond the realm of the partnership. Opinions about each other need to be kept under wraps and swept under the carpet from time to time even if Jee lalchaye, raha na jaye.
  8. It is agreed to speak in parables in case of difference of opinions, if any. This is to discourage any dialogues that could possibly, god forbid, solve the issue. Daag lagne se agar kuch accha hota hai toh daag acche hain.

I, Purba Ray, owner of A-musing, state that the above information is true and to the best of my knowledge, accurate. I agree to the terms and conditions of this agreement. I promise to abide by the same, failing which I will be entitled to introduce BlogwatiG to my Didi back home. The consequences of which will solely rest on my shoulders. Signed on this date of July……………………………………………

Last heard, Purba Ray had relocated to Australia, bag, baggage and blog. Whereas BlogwatiG had resigned herself to her fate and was on the lookout for a new symbiotic relationship, Kyunki darr ke aage jeet Hai!


77 comments:

  1. This was so so hilarious, Vinita! I could not stop laughing. Trust you to point out to the crazy vagaries of the blogworld in your not-so-good-natured humorous way :). I have actually seen people do just this even without B-NUP! I am very certain that this immortal document of yours will go viral and will be stuff of legends on which immortal bloggging friendships will be forged. A delightful post and loved each one of your taglines. And finally we discover the real reason why Purba left in such a rush :-P!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Well, Rachna, I had to come out with the truth. Kab tak Purba sabko answer karti rehti. Waise, uski jagah khali hai....tum kaho toh main yeh rishta pucca samjhoon? :P

      Thanks for your appreciation though. Writing for Purba had to be a masterpiece. Nothing else would do. GuruDakshina jo deni thi.

      Delete
  2. Absolutely brilliant and out of box....and very very hilarious....

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yep! that's BlogwatiG for you.

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  3. I don't know what the fuss is all about. That sounds like a perfectly reasonable and sound B-NUP to me, P-p-p-urba. Darr kis baat ka, wapis aao and sign on!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. All these years I was in Gurgaon, you gave me no bhaav.
      Now that I'm in the land of Oz- you can't stop chanting 'come back now'!

      Yeh kaisa insaaf!

      Delete
    2. I agree. This Reeky Coleslaw na......I am telling you!

      Delete
  4. A nicely worded agreement and will hopefully stand the scrutiny of the blogger court:)Daar ki aage jeet pakki hai!

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  5. Have you not heard the saying, VInita, that those who live in glasnost houses should not throw posts, and how, Purba, could you be party to it? These are matters that should stay in the dark of drafts, unspoken and feared. Now everyone will want one of these in place before they share their love!!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Subho, pehle toh Glasnost Google kiya. I thought it was the loosely translated tagline by Raj Kumar and his sheeshe ke ghar.

      Honestly, I tried Subho....to stay in the dark. But what do I do? Blogging se darr nahin lagta sahab, bloggers se lagta hai. ;)

      Delete
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  7. My laughter has turned to hiccups. Wiping tears, truly wiping tears - emosanal maamla hai. Awed by the brilliance of it all. May I please download this contract and go hunting for a suitable bakra errr partner?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Err...I thought you had enough bakras of your own, dying to get halaled :p

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  8. What an idea BlogwatiG. Just loved it.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks Alka. Main na kehti thi :P

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  9. Advt bylines have been used so very aptly....even better than the promotion of the intended products !

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yes! she has done a brilliant job of it.

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    2. Thanks Vasudha, you are always so generous.

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  10. Awwww! <3<3 Madam, aapke charn kahan hai? This is mindbogglingly true. The people who keep saying they do not have any expectations are the ones who have whole lot of them. Friendships do not come with tags. And yet, I am willing to sign this.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Mere charan yahan hai aur contract aapko mail kar rahi hoon. Before you change your mind ;)

      Delete
  11. :D Badhiya Blogwatijee!!

    Ab to B-Nup ya Beware!!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. LOL, Deepak aap toh moh maya se viprit hain. Aapko iski kya avashakta? Yeh toh hum jaise tuchh praniyon ke liye hai ;)

      Delete
  12. Purba..wow! That's awesome and all blogs gotta have such undertaking. Love it:)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Not Purba but Blogwati Gee.

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    2. And I am adjusting the halo on my head :)

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  13. Wow this should be legalized ! It helps bloggers grow ! A LOL post !

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. True that! A sis code for all women bloggers.

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  14. Ha ha ... Trust BlogwatiG to come up with these things. Loved it, so true :D

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Gracias Bhavya. I can think only like Maggi Tomato Ketchup. It's different! :D

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  15. This sure put in in good spirits :) Hilarious and brilliant ! But do we expect anything else from blogwatiG.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Ab apne muah miya mithu kaise banu? But if you insist, I will agree wholeheartedly with you Ruchira :D

      Delete
  16. Woah!
    Lady Vinita Blogwatiji, what a deadly agreement that is!
    Oh this is THE reason for Purbaji to go on an exile? I dont blame her.
    What a 'comradery' :-p

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Sigh! The truth had to come out sooner or later. You know what they say. You can run but you can't hide.....

      Delete
  17. Ladies and Gentleman, I present you the queen of comedy and Humor... Lady Blogwatig. Now I understand, why you were introduced as the who's who of blogosphere on my first indiblogger meet.


    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Ha ha ha Renu. Thank you hai ji....par yeh kab hua? Asli celebrity toh Purba hai. Read her to know more. You will fall in love with her writing :)

      Delete
  18. Awesome!! Kya diya aapne!! I can use this agreement when I come to India and present it to all of you to sign!!

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    Replies
    1. Roshni, aap Qatar main hain! Pehle jao usska sign lekar aao jiske liye yeh banaya gaya hai. *Evil laugh*

      Delete
  19. Awwwww and hearts, enjoyed that. The title was especially clever.

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  20. Yeh cheez badi hai mast mast. I love you both! Big big hugs!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Ha ha ha Vidya. Right back at you :D

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  21. Hahaha.. Well, Congratulations... You two should throw a grand party and invite everyone else, so that a few could follow your footsteps :D

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    Replies
    1. Psst, Kumar, Purba had thrown breadcrumbs. I ate them all. Now wait for the Memoirs to hit the bookshelves. Tab tak praan jaaye par blog (secrets) na jaye :P

      Delete
  22. hahaha....Vinita's post in Purba's blog..It doesn't get bigger than this, does it? :D

    It was hilarious and only Vinita could have come up with these guidelines! and the taglines wow!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Ha ha ha Naba. I am glad you think so :D

      Yes it is quite life coming a full circle. I am feeling like Deepika Padukone must have when she got a chance to debut with SRK, someone she has idolized, as a child. And no not mentioning age out here.....BTW ;)

      Delete
  23. amazing..:) good write up..:)

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    Replies
    1. Yep! She never disappoints :-)

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  24. :) now thats like a contract
    ROFL !! speaks for why you have so many followers !! Super Like !! :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. The contract of unconditional love :D

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  25. Wah wah! kya contract hai :D Legendary. Can we all have copies of that? :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Ask Blogwati ben! I scooted at the mere mention of it, remember?

      Delete
  26. This is the perfect b-NUP .. hehehe soo cute and warm.. made me giggle.. you guys share much love *touch wood* :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Chuh kar dekh lo CS, diabetes no ho jaye toh mera naam badal dena :P

      Delete
  27. Funny and filled with love. May your bond grow stronger with time! I had read BlogwatiG's name here and there on Blogosphere. I think I am a fan now :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. *Adjusts her halo* Why, thank you Nisha? :)

      Delete
  28. Oww Maaayee Gaawd... what a contract!

    I hope you didn't copyright it *puppy eyes*

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You'll have to ask Blogwati Gee :D

      Have you found a willing bakri yet?

      Delete
  29. Hai kitna achha lagta hain jab koi itni nautanki karke hasatha hain. Kudos to you BlogwatiG, aap mahaan ho :D

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Chalo tum kehti ho toh maan lete hain Pooja ki main mahan hoon. Ab tumhari baat kaise taloon? :P

      Delete
  30. nice read. Superb utilization of ad punch lines.

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    Replies
    1. Wish I knew those ads. But enjoyed everything about the post including the idea and the title.

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    2. Dripping with wickedness, Blogwati G ishtyle :D

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  31. hahahahahaha... ek sher to doosra sawa sher.. the deadly combination :D :D.. love you both <3

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  32. This is so funny, love the comments too. Absolutely howlarious.

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  33. If both of you, top bloggers ji, follow your point # 2 with me, it would make me so much more famous! Next time, when I want you to share/tweet my blog link, I will, quite blatantly, quote this agreement, ok!

    A hilarious read btw. This , I am sure, is gonna be a topic of conversation, in many a blogger meets to come :).

    P.S. Gee, I am available for a "symbiotic relationship"!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hopefully for the right and write reasons :-)

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    2. Prateek, you know the drill. If you here this being discussed, just make sure you ask them to cough up the royalty. We will then go a threesome. Wait, what? :P

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  34. Yeh sab keh liya... Phir bhi nothing will change for bloggers...

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  35. hahahaha.. Purba: Thank you for introducing me to Blogwati.. I have actually hogged her place for the past 3 days, and have ready the ABC series..Lover her and her princess :-) Loved her page.

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    Replies
    1. She's delightful. isn't she?

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    2. Ah, thank you Jenny. I embody madness to the hilt. Glad you like that :D

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