Monday, October 7, 2013

It’s Love, Stupid!


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There’s an imbecile in all of us, dying to come out at the first hint of love. My first brush with the incredible stupidity much in love couples display was as a 10 year old on a summer trip to Mount Abu. It was one not so fine morning, when we stepped into the sightseeing bus crammed with eager tourists armed with cameras and Uncle Chips, that I first encountered this strange species - a motley group of honeymooning couples coochie–cooing like crows in heat. One of them must have spotted the terror in my eyes. Before I could scream Mummy, save me, I was perched firmly on their laps. The next few hours I was privy to the most inane conversations ever heard and embarrassing public displays of affection. Every time the bus halted they would scurry off to the nearest cliff and pose Khajuraho style with me as the hapless spectator. Needless to say I was traumatized.

Love spares no one and I knew I was infected when Nadeem Shravan and Altaf Raja songs started making sense. I discovered the true meaning of insomnia in “Mujhe neend na aaye, mujhe chain na aaye”. With a stupid smile plastered on my face, I would walk around aimlessly, often banging into pillars. A firm believer of keeping my options multiple, I would be in love with at least 4 guys at a time. A lost- puppy look on my face and a playlist of the cheesiest romantic songs constantly playing in my head, I was dying to feel like a heroine in a Mills and Boons novel, touched for the very first time.

I was in search of my tall, dark, obscenely rich and brooding, silent and tortured hero! When I did find a guy with looks to kill, he’d open his mouth and spoil it all. The silent brooding one was dull and the rich one was yet to be born! But that did not deter me from crushing over guys I had no intention of confessing my love to.

Finally I did find love and with it the imbecile in me. Every time the phone rang, I would run towards it like PT Usha on steroids, sink into deep depression if he didn’t call me every two hours. I would look for pathetic excuses to call him again and again. Mind you, these were the pre-mobile days, so I had no way of driving him up the wall with “do you miss/love/care for me?” texts! I found everything about him incredibly endearing including his body odour and would feel hurt if a friend passed a snide remark on his cute flappy ears. Silly girl, she’s just jealous!


Love manifests in its myriad ways. As a Mom who thinks her baby is the miracle the world was waiting for and claps the loudest when her son sings off-key at Chintu’s birthday party. As a daughter who sees her Dad as the knight in his shining armour who can do no wrong. As the hopelessly in love girl who says, I love you soo soo much my Sona, Sweetu, Baabu, Lolu, Golu, Molu, Janu with passion.

Why, I even had to bear the ignominy of watching my no-nonsense Mom baby talk with our dog and coin silly songs in his honour! While our neighbours saw him as a huge, out of control German Shepherd, my Mom saw him as her baby who loved her blindly and didn’t argue unlike her own children.

Research suggests, love is like a drug that wreaks havoc on your body. Your heart races, your tummy gets tied up in knots, and you're on an emotional roller coaster, feeling deliriously happy one minute and anxious and desperate the next. When he says, I’ll put my head in the freezer, climb up the electric pole and dive into pool, even though he doesn’t know how to swim, he means every word of it! This drug called love is capable of shutting our senses down like the temperamental Northern grid. Look what it did to Ms Sherawat when she sang “happy brrrrday dear Naaarrrendra Mohdi jee” and made us fall off our chairs clutching our stomachs! I am convinced that it’s love and not his lack of intellect that makes Rahul Gandhi give ROFL statements in all earnestness. For long he’s been encouraging the poor to fall off to sleep and dream big to overcome hunger and poverty. After all, poverty is just a state of mind. He insists if the poor cannot see the biggest dreams, he’s not interested in sleeping!

See, what love can do to your otherwise functioning grey cells?

On a serious note, love is like a river. Tumultuous when it begins its journey from a molten glacier, a little unsure of itself as it absorbs intrusions and changes its course many times, before settling into the sea – deep, unwavering and calm.

Mature yes, but never too old too old to make a cute puppy face and coo, Shonaa – I’m chho tired, can you pleees fix me a cup of tea?

Silliness, thy name is love. 






98 comments:

  1. Love is in the air as every one seems to have been bitten by the love bug! May be it is the right weather:) Nice recollections, Purba!

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    1. I thought love had no season and struck without reason.

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  2. Love does different things to different people. It did bring out the coy side of our Haryana girl.

    This is such a sweet post traversing the alleys of adolescent love.

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    1. But...but...it was meant to be funny and not sweet :p

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    2. Ha ha, I guess the image of a sweet young Purba running towards the phone stuck more than than the PT Usha part!

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  3. hahaha , I loved it, esp the last bit about Rahul Gandhi. You connected the two things with brilliance

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    1. There has to be a logic behind his brand 'nonsense'.

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  5. Silly, passionate, stupid, anxious, desperate - love... ah! it still makes the heart beat faster :) lovely post.

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    1. It's a state of mind that no other emotion can replicate.

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  7. Wow! Your post does the same thing that you say of love. Starts off with bubbly humor like a spring, runs the course of all dimensions and settles into the calm serenity of the ocean. The coda is the surf on the beach :)

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    1. Hahahaha...the Ocean bit was unintended.

      But thank you so much, Suresh :-)

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  8. Ah love! The urgency to be with the person, to catch on to their every word is delicious and exciting. It is a different high, and it is never a stagnant journey. You love and hate the same person with equal passion sometimes on the same day :) . You can be really silly and giggly on some days and so very mature and spiritual on others. Never ever fail to acknowledge the immense happiness and blessing that having love in your life brings.

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    1. Your emotions are like a pendulum - switching between despair, helplessness to exhilaration. It's draining but a feeling like no other :-)

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  9. Someone is drowning in the still and silly sea of love. Even I was thinking of all this the other day and the teenage headiness and urgency of love flashed past my mind. Love brings out a myriad hues of our personality and in hindsight I wonder whether it was me the other day gushing fondly at the snoring figure beside me! Gosh, this love, I say.

    Joy always,
    Susan

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    1. ROFL! I keep telling the husband. irrespective of how old and silly you get, me and your Mom will continue to be your biggest fans.

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  10. Love love love love love! One can't write enough on it! Its always fun reading your posts. Its filled with the right amount of humor, with the PERFECT amount of hindi feel to it :D
    I recently wrote about the same on my blog: http://truebluereveries.blogspot.in
    Hope you give it a read, I'd love for you to feature in my blog and feature in yours as well! :)

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    1. Thanks for sharing the link :-)

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  11. (also you repeated "too old" twice in the end) just a heads up.
    LOVING the article.

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  12. Ahh love ! Sometimes it brings out the silliest in us !

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    1. Silly, insecure, emotional fool - the list is endless.

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  13. So love envelopes all or should it be gobbles all? Right from the cootchie cooing couples to Rahul Gandhi and mere mortals all!

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  14. Love..love ...loved this . Nadeem Shravan ...being in love with four guys ! How I can identify with that :D

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  15. Lovely, I remember driving the ex insane ... but then it was love. Waiting for another post : of love losing its shine - just to keep things balanced

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    1. Stop giving me ideas, you wicked woman!

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  16. In love with atleast 4 guys at a time, :) :) :) you beat the S&#@* out of all the road side romeo friends I had in college.

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    1. But..but..I was no road side Juliet. I just had a heart large enough to accommodate my many loves.

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  17. Love does that! For sure...I have been in love more than a dozen times, sometimes more than once at the same time and I know how hopeless it can get...so this one makes perfect sense to me :)

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    1. Love never makes any sense. That's why, when you come back to your senses, you wonder WTF was wrong with me!

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  18. Love, love and love.. Loved this Purba!

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  19. hahahaha...love is a horrible disease. Everytime one promises to be not infected by it, you repeat fall. Long time since I came to your blog. Feels so good to my dose of laughter and that sly wisdom again!

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    1. The wisdom part is part and parcel of age. Even if I don't want to, I end up dispensing it :D

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  20. I was discussing this with my wife just last night :) . Love is an explosive fusion that lasts for only a short while. But man - does it feel good!

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    1. Moving around like a zombie, you feel isolated but never alone because he's always there in your thoughts, the silly notes exchanged, the never-ending conversations...I could go on and on and on....

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  21. Love is all these and the things I do which I wish I would not have to do but, still go about doing it....yeah, it is as confusing as my comment. I could guess where you were going with this post :)

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    1. No, it makes perfect sense. Regret is love's hangover.

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  22. Love can make anyone dance to its music. While I've been spared the long calls and frequent 'don't you love me', 'jaanu' and 'shoona' and other forms of affections till now, I've seen people break their legs by falling off the balcony in search of good signal in the middle of the night in December (in a bermuda) and I can vouch for all that you said. Especially the Mom-and-Dog part, because I've seen my Mom try to hand feed our dog and coochie-coo him when he refuses vegetarian food.

    Cheers,
    Blasphemous Aesthete

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    1. Anshul, I'll wait for the day when you experience it and write about it.

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  23. Meh....it is a stupid emotion that makes peoplesay and/or do stupid stuff. Personally, I prefer to stay miles away from it.

    P.S. You listen to Altaf Raja! :-O You also must be a closet "Anu Malik-Kumar Sanu-Taher SHah" fan. Hmpf!

    P.P.S. It was a nice read :-)

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    1. P.S I know all about what you did last summer and the summer before that and that...

      STOP BULLSHITTING ME.

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  24. Hehehe, your mom singing songs for the cute little dog. Why do we portray our love sometimes in such unimaginable yet deviously cute ways!!
    and the things we do to feel that love and the way we break when we dont feel it. I guess the whole purpose of life is to be loved and be wanted by someone in the most precious manner.
    Epic post!

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    1. Err...He was far from cute. He was a huge German Shepard capable of scaring the shit out of any grown-up man/woman. But she saw him as a Cocker-Spaniel.

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  25. "Those who hate love love hate" ~Confusionus

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    1. Love is enlightening. It enlightens you about how stupid you can get - Ma Purba

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  26. love, a wonderful emotion, blissful state!

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  27. The stupid Cupid couldnot stop the influence of Chanakya and sorts when you wrote this I believe.
    I am amazed at how well you could correlate love and politics.
    Kudos Purba!

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    1. It was a delicious excuse to take a dig at our Prince Charming :D

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  28. Yes, I really do blame Nadeem Shravan for ruining the concept of romantic love in this country. From shayari to corny on the coattails of Madhuri Dixit's shoulder padded frilly frocks!
    But, talking of love of another kind, did your mom ever get those dog friendly love songs recorded? I think my dog might love my cooing to her occasionally! Do let me know how to get my hands on that music cassette.

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    1. Err...she composed her own songs and sang them in her own melodious voice. I'd rather die than reveal what she really sang in his honour.

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  29. Musing...amusing..smiling...blushing...lol...what am I typing here?

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  30. A sincere feeling....one can live forever.

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  31. It just happens..
    I remember,i had a crush on my teacher in school.....i couldnt take my eyes off her.

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    1. Those crazy adolescent years!

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  32. As a child, I fell for Raj of DDLJ when he goes to India to get his dulhaniya without any second thoughts and eventually wins her. I imagined a life partner like Raj and how he would do everything to keep me happy. Silliness! ;)

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    1. Didn't we all! Little wonder, the movie was such a stupendous hit.

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  33. The sharp turn from love to politics was in no way disappointing! If at all this happened in our bollywood movies I am sure it would be a total flop! But you, hit hai hit :D

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    1. If you like it, it's a hit. If not, maha bore :D

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  34. A funny yet warm post. Kid singing on wrong note at chintoo's party and the dad in shining armor. Valid references :) may love be all around you always Purba :)

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    1. Being loved is the biggest aphrodisiac of all. Without love life feels meaningless. Thank you so much, Jaish. We all need love to survive.

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  35. On a serious note, love is like a river. Tumultuous when it begins its journey from a molten glacier, a little unsure of itself as it absorbs intrusions and changes its course many times, before settling into the sea – deep, unwavering and calm. You have got to be the Einstein of Love for writing this, such a beautiful line.

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    1. *I am walking on sunshine*

      It feels great to be appreciated. Thank you :-)

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  36. Ah, PT Usha on steroids!. You are hilarious, Purba!

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  37. Beautiful post, especially the end...good work!

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  38. Sona, Sweetu, Baabu, Lolu, Golu, Molu, Janu.....LOL :D :D :D

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  39. Lovely! you bring to us the essence of all love stories, don't you? So very relevant! I too love those shona/mona talks when I come across them. It is real fun watching the couples walk away hesitantly when you come into their sight!

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    1. A lover's world is an Utopian land cocooned from the harsh realities of life. And do lovebirds care what we think about them!

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  40. Superb as usual, Your post just gets better with time like wine, Uncle chips / narrrendhrra modii/ Rahul Gandhi, you make me laugh woman :)

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  41. Hehe nice post. Love is really stupid and brings the funniest stupidity out of us :)

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  42. All this talk about luv-shuv is against Indian culture. It corrupts our youngsters. We should only love God and Asaram bapuji :-|

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    1. Asaram chakkee peesing, while Ram Jethmalini sinks lower to save his client.

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  43. Purba you ended it perfectly.Only when love has traveled past many hurdles and sustained-only then it becomes deep & serene.

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    1. But not all love stories become the Ocean of serenity. Some of them disintegrate and dry up.

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  44. Oh, I totally exploit the love angle to get the laundry done! So convenient, no?!!

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  45. I cringe when I think of those days. Age brings wisdom but embarrassments too.
    And Nadeem Shravan combined with Kumar Sanu was a deadly mix. They have given us sleepless nights.

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    1. Kumar Sanu is the complete package - looks like a butcher and sings like a Hyena .

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  46. As someone said here, Love does different things to different people. It means different things to different people. Either way, the emotions and feelings that one would be subjected to, within oneself, are almost the same :-)

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  47. Scientifically speaking love releases the same endorphins in our brain which are released by cocaine consumption, and in short, We get High !! so yes of course we get stupid in love. The bigger fool we ale of ourselves, brighter are the chances of us having a successful romantic relationship. After all being an imbicile makes us happy :-)

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