Wednesday, April 30, 2014

Chaddi: A Case Study

Sakshi Nanda of  Between Write and Wrong needs no introduction. Barely a year old in the world of blogging, she has already won many accolades and awards for her impressive body of work. But that's not why I love reading her so much. It's her raw honesty and chutzpah that's most endearing. When you read her work, you just cannot sit back passively. Her passion is infectious. Plus, no one writes reviews like she does.

If you are that rare species that's a stranger to her blog, I suggest you read this http://www.sakshinanda.com/2014/01/laurie-i-share-your-short-cut-and-your.html , http://www.sakshinanda.com/2014/04/the-salon.html and this http://www.sakshinanda.com/2014/04/the-oranges.html

In this 'colourful' post Sakshi dares to go where no woman has gone before.....




I just remembered the ‘kaanta laga, haai laga’ girl, but I did not sing ‘aaja aaja’ after it. You see, when she pumped up many years back (c.f. Google for a screensaver), I found those eyes too grey for my liking and the blue tie slightly misplaced over the black shimmery top half-heartedly keeping her in. The other teeny blue piece of clothing around the waist I did not mind seeing though, my favourite thing in that whole video, with the pug-mark tattoo coming in a close second. Today, while I sat on a swing in the children’s park philosophizing about this and that, I saw a woman’s chaddi see-sawing gleefully. Female. Pastel pink with maroon band. Tiny flowers, I’m guessing all over but then my gaze was limited in scope. A little bow, but the beads seemed to have fallen. And so I remembered the ‘kaanta girl’ and thus this hosiery of thoughts…

Good or bad is for Ram Sene to decide, but a trend began with the price-tag-sized blue peeping in that peppy song. And it has spread just like fire in the mouth does after mixing coke with mirchi up there, a pleasant tingly fire. Chaddi showing is no longer just a conscious fashion decision but one which has come to occupy Freudian proportions of the subconscious. (Something like, biting nails when Sidhu used to come to bat. Or Kumble. Automatic!). If you don’t believe me, next time you step out and away from your own house and clothes-line, notice, no matter how sexy the sight or how silly. And even if you have to turn your head to see it, a whole 360 degrees!

On the road …

In case you, like me, drive a car which became extinct with the dinosaurs, you will most coincidentally find yourself trailing a slow-moving couple-y motorcycle, out on a ride enjoying the scorching heat on the flyover at 25 km/hour. No hurries. While the faces will be helmeted and covered like a daku in dupatta, what you will notice is a chaddi staring at you, as the pillion rider bends forward for signs and science of streamline motion. The chaddi will be waving ‘OK TATA Bye Bye’ to your modest 30 meters long salwar driving the car, reminding you of yours within which are not worth that much airing, not even on the clothes-line and certainly not by chance. Now, these chaddis may be showing accidentally but they are accident hazards too. As if by design (I saw one made of fishing net), they distract you out of your comfort zone, like the apple did Eve, and by God that nada around your belly will feel tighter you will feel ancient you will forget your gear or that the brake is the middle one and ... Swear!

Off to a safer locale …

You earn your money hardly and want to dine fine, so what if it is the same dal makhni your cook of 1200bucks/month can make. Shaan toh hai! So you wear your onion pearls coupled with a chiffon sari and tip-top into an unfit-tingly but aptly named Motee Mahal kitty where you will meet your favourite air-kissable cheeks. And, what do you see? Gosh, one husband of one woman has worn his worn out jeans with flip-flops and a Che tee to match his evening gown wife. (Compatibility dies, fashionably!) And if this wasn’t all, this black sheep’s black boxers refuse to rest in peace. Oh how they tempt-attempt to butt into everything. Is his shirt too short or pants too low? Haw, was that a belly button when he hi-fived like a college kid? Such presence the chaddi will have, his toddler will play guitar on the band and the waiter put down an extra plate for the chaddi to eat too. Such presence! And what show-offing. If only ‘Made in Thailand’ Kalvin Clein spelled right, or even Clean, perhaps the site-seeing would inspire you to drop your own onion pearls the next time, undo that sari, unhook the formals and come prepared in the next best thing to naked. Jeans and tee, I mean!


It’s almost as if there is a love epidemic between chaddis of different nationalities and shapes, different colours and races, where each says to the other, ‘Darling, I wish I could see you all the time’. And they do. Chaddis dotted with hearts can be spotted on parapets in colleges, Reebloke bands holding on to metro rails, swinging, or those with blooming flowers buying vegetables in Shani Bazaar, laying low and asking for lower price for the gatta. Seamlessly sitting, side-by-side, band-to-elastic band. Age no bar either, by the way, for under-wear can be over-worn. What else explains the exact place where the elastic gets divorced from the camel-coloured brief exposing the middle and aged line of symmetry the man makes no attempt to hide when picking his crate of beer? In socks we used to call the exposed heels potatoes. What are these windows called? Well, if you ask some of the new comers, they will say ‘Who cares, man. Pent-hee toh hai?’

Indeed! Indeed!

I think, despite all the diversity, the chaddi binds us all into a common ideology of Honesty. Like no political party does. Where what is inside is what is outside, and not just by virtue of being worn under a holy clean white dhoti in the Parliament, or standing atop a windy stage. Nothing is hidden under the table or even below the belt. It is all out. And so a new national party needs to take birth, with a chaddi as it symbol on the flags. God knows we need a change here in India, one which erases all kinds of reservations, about all things haw. Even the French have had their Revolution and they don’t even wear chaddis, they say. Look at your house electorally. You’ll have no lotus at home, elephant not at all, a sickle I doubt, one cycle maybe but your kid’s, two hands, two brooms max. But how many chaddis do you have? How many, including the one I can see? Huh?

Now, do you too see what I see? My point, I mean!





64 comments:

  1. Ha ha, I hereby name thee the scourge of butt cracks All hail!!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. *takes a bow with one hand on hers, in case it peeps* :D

      Delete
  2. Saks, that was a roler-coaster ride counting chaddis on the road. A very common sight and definitely an accident hazard. Hilariously hilarious! :-D

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. At the speed at which I drive, I can even count the flowers on each. :D
      Thanks for reading, Rekha. Glad you enjoyed it!

      Delete
  3. Absolutely hilarious and curiously true.
    You should really get into underwear advertising, they need you!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank God you didn't say 'underwear designing'. I would love a job in advertising. *goes off to write a cover-letter-with-CV-attached to Victoria's Secret to model the autumn collection*
      Thanks, Brendan! :D

      Delete
  4. That was a brilliant piece Sakhi, Purba knows who can A muse:)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. She knows, but no one can do it like she does it! :)
      Thank you, Rahul.

      Delete
  5. That was a good one Sakshi! I have still never been able to get over seeing guys with precariously balanced trousers revealing the entire chaddi for public view!

    ReplyDelete
  6. Now underwear companies know who they should make their brand ambassador!! haha...this was a brilliant piece!!! AMUSING indeed!!!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks, Red.
      I am looking for a job, yes! Fingers crossed! :D

      Delete
  7. Purba' blog, Sakshi's post. Double Dhamaal.
    Reading your hosiery of funny thoughts, the nada around my belly is hurting. This was absolute fun.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. :D Glad you had fun, Alka. Thanks a lot!

      Delete
  8. If you have it, flaunt it :) So, when you have nothing, there is always a chaddi to flaunt :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Not all are flaunt-worthy. Or maybe, you move in better-dressed company. :D
      That was a funny one, Suresh. Thanks for stopping by! :)

      Delete
  9. Sakshi, LOL...can't stop laughing :) The waiter put down an extra plate for the chaddi to eat too :) You have lifted the chaddi to new heights butt it still has to be worn below the waist. Thanks, Purba and Sakshi, for making my dull Wednesday fun.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Happy your Wednesday got fun, Sulekha. Looking at the comments here, I am hanging one of mine on the highest bar of clothes-rack today. I should show gratitude where it's due. This wouldn't have been possible without them. :D
      Thanks for reading me! :)

      Delete
  10. Chaddi tales and so hilariously told! When we were kids we used to discuss the girth of the aunty jis living next door by the size of their chaddis that they always left drying on their clothesline for all to see ! (and you might just disown me as your friend after this uncouth confession :-) )
    Of course chaddis should be flaunted – That’s why Superman wears his on the outside :-P
    A delightful post. And thank you Purba for hosting Sakshi. !

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. (I will not disown you for that and also keep mum about how we used to steal neighbour aunty's (and uncle's) chaddis and hang them on the mango tree in the common gali with the same stick-with-one-nail with which we used to break the mangoes to eat. :D)
      And Superman's is just so plain. Still. :P
      Thanks, Ruch!

      Delete
  11. OMG :D Chaddi tales? Seriously, the waiter put an extra plate :D Oh my!!
    Hats off to your observation, girl ! And for sewing together the thoughts in so mild a fashion and creating such humour out of it :)
    Come here, fly to Dubai, you'll see more and variety incarnations of your 'subjects' , making no attempt to be hidden :D
    *ducks under the office desk to protect self from being assaulted for laughing out loud and disturbing the office environs*

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Err, not really no, no extra plates. But I think he almost did. Yes. Almost!
      Imagine being observant and being caught looking there. :P
      When I wrote a post on fancy lingerie, someone from Dubai invited me over to see and believe what wares they have. This is the second invitation on a post again about under clothes. I must come!!
      Laugh away. They can't fire you for that! :D
      And thank you so so much! :)

      Delete
    2. And that someone was Yours truly, proud to admit :D :D

      Delete
    3. :D :D Really? I am on my way ... ! :D

      Delete
  12. Since I've known you, albeit virtually, I've always known your observation powers to be brilliant. But to notice even such "intimate" details, wah re wah :) A post that is nicely "held" together with just enough insight into the confusing world of underwear.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. This is nothing. I have eyes like Batwoman. :D
      Why is the world of inner wear confusing? Nothing is hidden from the naked eye! :D
      Thanks for stopping by, Sid.

      Delete
  13. That was quite a laugh riot, Sakshi! I tell you, I hate them chaddhis peeping out anyway but then there are certain varieties that should have long ago retired :). When those peep through, I wonder what was the wearer thinking? And men, seriously must wear high waisted pants. Just can't bear to look at the ugly cracks, yuck! Lovely to see you on Purba's blog.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Retired. Ha ha ha. Yes! I hear you, Rachna.
      I could almost hear that 'yuck' and then I echoed it.
      Thanks a lot for how you ended my day today. I was super happy! :)

      Delete
  14. LOL what a topic , what a topic to write I say ! Purba has definitely found someone just like her ! :D
    Brilliant piece I must say..! :D

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Oh, I'm no where close to her, Anita. I took 100 days to write these 1000 words, where she could have written better even in her sleep. Lets just say the fact I had to write for her blog made me put, not one, but two-two best feet forward!
      I may be here, but still, her blog remains one of the few mine aspires to be.
      I am happy you are laughing. It is a very serious topic, but still!

      Delete
  15. Haha,nice round up of chaddi shows.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Except in this show, the curtains never fall. :P
      Thanks, Indu!

      Delete
  16. haha..the chaddi conundrum! a few weeks ago I had seen an enormously flabby behind when a mechanic decided to go commando while changing tyres.. so now give me a chaddi show anytime but not that commando butt! ;)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I wish you better butts and no 'ifs', Naba. ;)
      Thanks a lot for reading this. :)

      Delete
  17. Well well...for a month now I was thinking of writing about it...for everywhere I go chaddis seem to peek at me screaming to write about them being the only soldiers maintaining the man's modesty for their pants won't! But I couldn't have done it any better than you did! This was hilarious!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You know, truth be told, I too had been thinking of this grave situation for a while now. We must be soul sisters, connected by an 'inner' thread of telepathy. I like how you put it. Soldiers. :D
      No, I do think you will have a brave tale to tell. You must. You really really must. Plus, I like men in uniforms. :D
      Thanks a lot, Rajrupa!

      Delete
  18. That distraction from the couple on the bike in the front is very true.

    ReplyDelete
  19. hahaha :D and now I have already have my today's fill of chaddis and cracks that I do not plan to step out of my house at all. Will just think about my nadas and how much revamping they need ;)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yes, this was an over-dose of elastics for my own self too. I haven't looked at one even since I wrote this. :P A break is a good idea, Jas. And how lovely nada-revamping sounds! :D

      Delete
  20. All hail thee. What a article.. totallyy 100% with this chaddi party.. and having it as a sign ..

    What an idea..

    The problem is who do we have in that team in the party. .

    I was smiling and visualising a bit of my travels this time in India..i kno I kno dirty mind mine..
    This showing of chaddi is such a fashion here ..you see it all and then half way down the bum the trousers or jeans start. . It is appalling but still makes yiu smile.. what a character they are..

    Thank you so much for the early morning laugh ..yeah in this part of world it's a morning..

    Brilliantly written. .

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. We can let our flyers fly to attract mass support and see who wants to join. No reservation, of any kind.
      Surely, those 'characters' with jeans hanging precariously low make you smile. And they also make you wonder where exactly does their vertebral column end and ahem, the rest begin? Quite a different species, them. :D
      Thank YOU for reading, B.
      B happy! :D

      Delete
    2. yes ahem ahem ahem.. else purba might just ban me here :)

      Bikram

      Delete
    3. Hello! I'm no Shiv Sena!

      Delete
    4. I hope not purba.. :) I was just pulling your leg ..

      but I like that you are not Shiv sena he he he he

      Delete
  21. daku in dupatta ? Oh my god..!...still laughing...For us guys all such spectacles are a recipe for disaster at every level... " Dekho get distracted and bang the car in pole", dekho and get caught by Missus.. get your head banged by her bag...And those Ram Sene walas.... I remember a Pink Chaddi campaign that was launched for them....god knows whatever happened after that...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. :D Good good. Good to laugh! Giving me quite an ego boost too, right now.
      That "get your head banged by the bag" is autobiographical element? ;)
      Thanks for reading, Prasad!

      Delete
  22. I remember the 'knata laga ' song..:-D... and also that Mowgliwala " chaddi pehnke 'fool' khila hain".. and yes 'chaddis' are now something one loves to boast of...it seems that day is not far away when Superman trend will become super hit..:-P..

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I like that Mowgli reference. I really should have used that! :D
      And if that Superman trend becomes a hit, then there will be nothing, just nothing, left to the imagination.
      Thanks a lot for reading, Maniparna! :)

      Delete
  23. I wonder if all this chaddi display exposes our latent Superman fetish. After all, we were all destined for greatness as per our janam patris, no?

    Great to see Sakshi here! A-musing is like the Royal Albert Hall / Carnegie Hall for bloggers! :-P

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. :D Janam patris do have a triangle-rhombus types of chart. I wonder what that represents, now that you say it?
      Thanks for reading, Rickie. This space is special, undoubtedly.

      Delete
    2. Rickie, you keep pulling my leg like this and I'll end up hobbling :p

      Delete
  24. Hahaa :D good one! You forgot to add the infamous thong in that picture though... i remember a colleague who'd wear them with low waisted jeans, and then bend right over.............. that was a laugh for us all ! :P

    Do stop by my latest post too! :D

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. "The other teeny blue piece of clothing around the waist I did not mind seeing though, my favourite thing in that whole video" - being a reference to that famous thong. :D
      And why am I glad I wasn't working in your office then? Or should I bemoan my loss. ;)
      Thanks for reading, Ash!

      Delete
  25. I love that Kata Laga song... but since then chaddi showing is no longer a big deal in music videos... because all they wear is that only.... Amusing read indeed. I make sure I hide mine... for the fear of being ridiculed for being old fashioned :P the young girls and their underwears make me feel so old :P

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Oh old is gold! :D Enjoy the glitter, no matter how tame and toned. :D
      Thanks, Rajlakshmi.

      Delete
  26. Hahahaha....now that was something unexpected but truly captivating! :)
    Loved the write up! :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Unexpected from me, you mean? Well, I will have you know, I have already written about men's baniyan and women's lingerie in separate pieces. :D
      Thank you, Nikhil.

      Delete
  27. When Gulzar penned down 'Chaddi pehen ke phool khila hai… phool khila hai' decades ago, did it ever occur to us that years later the ‘phools’ were to bloom amidst us in this most unexpected of fashions and that too…everywhere & all over the country!? We have turned out to be a country of ‘phools’, but of course, ‘chaddi-pehen-ke’ and unquestionably ‘proud about it’!

    What a piece of work Sakshi Nanda! Applause!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Like your comment a lot, Amogha. :D
      Thank you so much. I can hear the applause. :D

      Delete
  28. That's a cracker Sakshi Nanda. Yeh andar ki baat hai, like Sunny Paaji says. Thali for venturing where no other went, feisty lady::) Congrats Sakshi and high five to Purba:)

    ReplyDelete
  29. LOL! Nowadays, in the US, I only see chaddis a.k.a. boxers being shown off only in Walmart, which has now been designated as an uncouth place altogether! Hopefully, all the chaddi displayers will have a Walmart to congregate in soon when the first stores open in India!!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Oh, when the first Walmart store opens in India, ladies and gents will go dressed for Xmas. That's what happened when the first Starbucks opened in Delhi. Rouge-shoes in place and what not. Perhaps, designer chaddis too, even though they don't make it to FB selfies.
      Sam Walton will be happy. :P

      Delete

Psst... let me know what you are thinking.

LinkWithin

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...