Thursday, May 15, 2014

And the Cookie Crumbled



Inspired by Ritu’s peanut butter cookie recipe and the urgency to get to rid of the jar of cashew-almond butter that I’m supposed to finish since I bought it
I finally did IT. 
I mean I lost my baking virginity
Like a true Twitter addict, I announced to the world my intentions before doing IT.
It started off well, the mixture of almond-cashew butter with Maple syrup smelled divine
The egg married to vanilla was beaten so badly that I fluffed-up with pride
Just like a true Haryanvi
Now was the time to delicately fold in the wheat and the baking powder
I was already adjusting yet another feather in my cap as I plunged my electric beater in the jar. And lo behold, there was instant Chemistry 
Sparks flew. Only this time it was the wheat and the sticky butter
Oh, what a loose character! 
To teach me a lesson that I’d never forget, it proceeded to splatter itself all over the walls, door, floor and even the electric kettle
I was finally looking fair and lovely, only this time I was on my knees with wheat all over me
Making the dough was far from easy-peasy. It continued to harden the more I pestered it
But I am Aam Aurat who doesn’t give in so easily
I churned the mix till my eyes were bulging out and I was panting with exhaustion
Finally it softened, caving in to my grim-determination.
In went the cookie mix inside the oven but alas, it refused to rise to the occasion


I may have gotten rid of the almond-cashew butter, but I am now stuck with a batch of cookies that I’m supposed to finish because I made it.
 

Damn, this is is divine injustice. 

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67 comments:

  1. Photo???? This is truly hilarious, but you can always sing the song "Jo bhi kiya, humne kiya, shaan se"

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    Replies
    1. The good news is, my kitchen is now sparkling clean :D

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  2. Post pic or it didn't happen.

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    Replies
    1. No Pic, only lots of khit-pit.

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    2. I hear that raw cookie dough is pretty delicious! Maybe you can try that next time! ! ;)

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    3. Heh! if I can make the dough, why not bake it? It's the easiest bit in the recipe.

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  3. I stay away from baking and cooking Chinese. Always a disaster. Luckily I have a neighbor who is into professional baking.

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    Replies
    1. I don't bake because you end with a an entire cake that you're supposed to finish :/ But I do decent Chinese.

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  4. Sorry Purba .. I laughed out loud on reading this ! Poor you ! But seriously why cook when you can buy is my motto in life :-P
    But then I hate cooking !

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    Replies
    1. I enjoy trying out of the ordinary recipes. But yes, day to day cooking is boring.

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  5. I always stay away from Baking and anything to do with Basmati Rice, because I know it will be a diaster... :D
    My mom bakes the best cocoa cakes in the world and her plum cake is to die for. So I dont buy cakes from shops I just wait for my vacation !
    Hilarious post Purba..and how you made such a song from it../.I'm sure Yo Yo Honey Singh can rap this one !

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    Replies
    1. Like I don't make mishtee(mithai) at home because my Mom does an awesome job of it :D

      Eww! Why Honey Singh?

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    2. On the grounds of being hailed as 'the most successful Indian rapper' :D (who sucks )

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  6. Hilarious Purba, so well written and I understand you completely. Why not bake while your husband is at home? Take his help :-D
    I always bake during weekend, that is if I feel like baking (once in a blue moon!). If I have to cook anything new or any Indian sweets or bake, I need Kiran's support, moral support. I ask him to stand next to me. 2 weeks ago I had prepared gulab jamoon for the second time in my life and I needed his moral support for that :-D
    For baking, he always helps me by reading the recipes.

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    Replies
    1. If he's at home, I'll end up with stress and a headache from his constant gyaan! I prefer my peace of mind :D

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  7. hehehehe.. but we need pics!! :)

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    Replies
    1. Not a single one, Seeta. Plus my hands were too messy to click pics.

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  8. At least you had the courage to bake in the first place. I wouldn't even try it. :)

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  9. I'm going to join the crowd and say "Pictures please:)". Only you could have made a baking disaster sound so interesting. I bake (yes, really do!), so I'm very curious to see the outcome.

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    Replies
    1. I do have the pic of the baked cookies but sure how I can share it here.

      Does your wife know she's the luckiest?

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  10. Hahaha! THAT must have been one time that you did not wish to be the New You - after the baking and before the eating :) Course, you have no choice there, I suppose, but to keep all the cleaning up in the family :)

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    Replies
    1. Guess what, Suresh! My baking endeavour was supposed to be a break from some stressful writing I was doing. Look what I ended with :/

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  11. Hehehe, why did you not put up the pictures? I love baking and I'm almost an expert at it. Still wondering what might have gone wrong in your case! :P

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    Replies
    1. Stupidity :D

      I had no idea coookie doughs are supposed to so thick.

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  12. Gaah the first time I made cookies they turned out to be like papads.we still ate em..I mean my poor parents and siblings had to suffer. Now I've gotten better! Phew.

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    Replies
    1. Agree, it's from our mistakes we learn but in this case we have to eat them.

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  13. I bake excellent cakes and I make horrific cookies....this is the story of my life!!

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    Replies
    1. I. Don't. Bake because calories.

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  14. Today truly experienced 'RoFL'..pictures would have made my day :) Loved reading your baking experience.

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  15. I bake cakes and breads. Thanks for demotivating me to try baking cookies :). But first let me laugh out loud :D.

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    Replies
    1. You are an amazing woman, Rachna.

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  16. yayyyyyyyyyyyyy to that .. so now tell me how did they taste ..
    come on give it a try again , i am sure you will enjoy it for sure ..

    you cant be as bad a cook as me .. i once tried to bake and insted of using MAIDA in cake i used BESAN .. so think of that and give it another GO

    Bikram

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    Replies
    1. They taste like Atta :p

      Lol..the choice of besan is very interesting.

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  17. The Hammer Test is the true test of cookieness. Simply put - do you need a hammer?

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    Replies
    1. Naah...my canines are still intact.

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  18. Now this is what we call "Baking News", ....:)

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    Replies
    1. Hahaha...Prasad. That was brilliant.

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  19. hehehe.. We need a picture !!

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    Replies
    1. I would have if I had more that two hands :p

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  20. Laughed out loud and then had to stifle the laughter because everyone in the house are sleeping peacefully. But hilarious to the core and yes pics would add more punch to it.

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    Replies
    1. Well, you asked for it, milady.

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  21. hehehe.....you should have got the ready made dough na....wud have been simple...oh to finish your butter..now I get it :P

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    Replies
    1. It's only after I read your comment did I discover you could get them from the supermarket :/

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  22. The photos would have been the icing on the cake... oops.. the butter in the cookies :P

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    Replies
    1. The funny part is, my family is still eating them :o

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  23. hahaha oh dear god :P you on your knees covered with wheat :P I am sure your husband had a laughing fit... if you failed, then I am never gonna try it. I make a disaster of simple simple dry :P

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    Replies
    1. Err..he was in office and THANK GOD for that.

      You should try this recipe, the cookies are healthy and tasty.

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  24. love ur blog...please join my blog
    http://9shonalimukherji9.blogspot.in/

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  25. Only you can sound baking sound so hilarious....this reluctant cook bows down to you!! :)

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    Replies
    1. Here, have a cookie. They will be good for your teeth :p

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  26. As you bake so shall you reap! In this case a hardened batter leads to leaden cookies,Purba:)

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    Replies
    1. Wah,wah Rahul - this is what I call Baked Poetry.

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  27. Once it comes to kitchen,I can hardly comment.

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    Replies
    1. You should learn some cooking and surprise your wife.

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  28. Ha ha lol ! Electric mixers can blend super fast. The mess done is also super fast

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  29. I learnt the hard way :/

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  30. Ho ho ho...me too have binned many a baking experiments when they failed to delight anyone..thoroughly enjoyed reading this one..which gives hope - 'you are not alone' ;-) :P

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  31. I could picture you on all fours........LOL

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