Tuesday, February 3, 2015

May the Most Beautiful Face Win the Delhi Elections


The keenly fought Delhi Assembly Polls are proving to be the Bigg Boss of elections with each party stooping lower to conquer. Just a few weeks back, Kiran Bedi, BJP’s brahmastra against Aam Admi in muffler, anointed Modi as the most beautiful face and leaving Amit Shah heartbroken.

Ironically, gushing about your leader’s beauty is far from a foolproof way of towing away your electorate’s heart, especially when it belongs to form

Image courtesy - twitter.com
er Press Council chairman and retired Supreme Court judge, Katju. After a close inspection of Kiran Bedi from all angles and a round of questions grilling her on world peace and her beauty regimen, he declared Shazia Ilmi as the most beautiful, hence deserving to be BJP’s CM candidate.

He said “If Shazia had been made their C.M. candidate BJP wud(sic) have definitely won the Delhi elections. People vote for beautiful faces, as in Croatia. Even a person like me who does not vote wud(sic) have voted for Shazia.”

He further added that almost all Indian politicians are rogues and scoundrels, so, it makes more sense to elect a beautiful face to betray the electorate’s trust.

This is yet another milestone moment for women who are solely judged on the basis of their looks, irrespective of their achievements and the accolades they win. This comes as a great relief to the Australian journalist who in writing the obituary for the bestselling author (and neurophysiologist) Colleen McCullough, chose to focus on her lack of looks and ample weight and how she, despite these shortcomings, managed to attract men.

It’s hoped that Katju’s counsel will have many takers since “90% of Indians are idiots” (and most of them in Delhi).

Interestingly, much before Katju came up with this well-meaning advice, Indian voters elected the ‘most beautiful face according to Kiran Bedi’ to show them achhe din.


This development brings unexpected joy to beauty contestants who are mostly unemployed even after winning beauty pageants.

Since we are not only pathetic but have telepathic powers as well, it’s safe to call ourselves a telepathetic nation.

It is learnt from reliable sources that Congress, the nation’s most hopeless party, has approached Sunny Leone to lead them to victory ‘under her able guidance’ and make them rise to the occasion.

Unfortunately, great thought leaders are mostly misunderstood and jeered by lesser mortals. This time was no different with Katju being slammed as too sexist even for an Indian male his age. Justice Katju begged to differ and claimed he was just a lover of ‘phools’ who was simply admiring beautiful flowers from a distance and not plucking them.

It may be noted, this is not the first time Katju has been slammed for his unconventional views. He had on previous occasions decreed that ‘women who remain single are prone to have psychological problems’. He had also said that gay relationships and gay marriages were "all humbug and nonsense".

With great age comes the license to say outrageous things and passing it off as senility.

Thanks to his fabulous sense of humour, Justice Katju is now being hailed as the Chief Jester of India. In his new role as CJI – Shri Katju extolled Indians to develop a sense of humour and not take any of his statements seriously. In fact they should add a dollop of chaat masala and a generous squirt of lemon and go haha and not gaga over them.

Many regard this is as a populist gesture by Markandya Katju to endear himself to the masses by becoming as idiotic as them

Meanwhile, Mr Kejriwal leader of AAP who is seen as a strong contender for the CM’s post has tweeted that he’ll stage a dharna outside Shahnaz Hussain’s salon and demand fair and lovely potions for all Delhizens. Once cured of unfairness they will surely vote for the most deserving candidates. 


50 comments:

  1. Lol....fair vote for lovely faces...
    Katju needs to develop his sense of humor....you are the best person to teach him.....

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. And be labelled as an idiot? No thank you.

      Delete
  2. Lol....fair vote for lovely faces...
    Katju needs to develop his sense of humor....you are the best person to teach him.....

    ReplyDelete
  3. Mr.Katju's latest comment on not giving the post of Judge to someone who is in a live-in relationship itself makes you want to consider the way of appointment of our esteemed judges. The collegium method is bullshit it feels.
    Only you could come out with a post this good.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Esteemed Mr Katju is simply behaving like the 90% men who think a woman's primary role is to marry and procreate.

      Delete
  4. Katju for sure has a sense of humour.....Lop sided ,though

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. It's just that he doesn't know it yet.

      Delete
  5. Another pearl of wisdom from an important personality-we need to make an anthology of these priceless quotes.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Katju jokes will easily outsell any Chetan Bhagat book.

      Delete
  6. “90% of Indians are idiots” ???????
    Which side is he on?

    ReplyDelete
  7. He is just giving proof in support of his theory that 90% of Indians are stupid! He is one of them

    ReplyDelete
  8. My comment is missing!!
    Anyway, the man is an habitual offender when it comes to controversial comments. His brand of humor does not go down well with 90% fools.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. So sorry about that! Somebody else complained too.

      Delete
  9. If he has his way soon the election results will be decided on cat walk....... Long live LookOcracy ... Rest in peace Democracy

    ReplyDelete
  10. Hilarious - 'Sunny Leone to lead them to victory under her able guidance'. It is interesting to note that women are still measured in terms of their looks rather than talent. Ironically, Khushwant Singh too had made somewhat similar comparisons, between Indira Gandhi and Maharani Gayatri Devi, something like this, “Indira could not stomach a woman more good-looking than herself and insulted her in Parliament, calling her a ....and a....doll"

    Anita Desai

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. It's pretty clear, a woman who's not attractive has no business doing well in life.

      Delete
  11. Absolutely ridiculous! There's a petition doing the rounds against this. Hope you've signed it.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Which petition are you talking about?

      Delete
  12. superb take on the boiling pot. Hilarious :)

    ReplyDelete
  13. Nice take ...loved the last line on fair n lovely :) .

    ReplyDelete
  14. Hoping for fair & lovely elections & may the most beautiful win :)
    Beauty lies in the eyes of the voter!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. May the lambi race ka ghoda win.

      Delete
  15. I am looking forward to Sunny leone standing , I for one am going to vote for her PAKKA ..

    but on other thought .. the best way to be in news these days is to say something against women .. easy peasy media and all will have him on the front page :)

    Bikram's

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Sunny Leone for President! What say?

      Delete
  16. Wondering whose cute face is going to adorn the throne this time. Loved the last line. :)

    ReplyDelete
  17. Problem is most of the political parties have seriously contrived mandates and the aam junta is too busy to be interested in what hogwash the netas are doling out in their political bhaashans......

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. The Aam Janta wants a corruption free administration and a government that looks out for their interests.

      Delete
  18. May the best face that can deliver win! Best faces do manage to be subject of discussion and be in news not to to mention in Madame Tussaud;s wax museums:)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thankfully, Katju Jee will never be in running for any public post thanks to his looks.

      Delete
  19. A magic wand is what we need. The campaigning this time indeed crossed all barriers. Shameless bunch we have as politicians.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I am so bored of the mud-slinging, constant propaganda and counter allegations.

      Delete
  20. What will happen to Kumar Vishwas ...who will hear him now . Even Kejri baba is at Shahnaz's dwar .Amchi Desh is going to the dogs . Shiela ki jawani will be our national anthem. You may never know someday when we wake up from sleep we all are in remote siberia clueless what had happened to our nation the night before.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. We will continue the way we always have - Bhagwan bharose.

      Delete
  21. Our politicians and leaders certainly seem to be vying as to who can make the stupidest comments!!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yet they position themselves as upholders of morality!

      Delete
  22. Nice covered Purba. May the best candidate win Delhi elections, who think for people and do something.

    ReplyDelete
  23. Hahaha! Why don't we give an old man the liberty to go gaga over beauty? Lovely post, Purba!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Of course, only if he accepts he's as stupid as us!

      Delete
  24. Suddenly there is a new found meaning for the term 'Fair and Lovely' in Indian politics :D

    ReplyDelete
  25. Chief Jester should endorse the new lovely products. His comments are uncalled..haha..I'll call it his 'second hand Jawaani:)

    ReplyDelete

Psst... let me know what you are thinking.

LinkWithin

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...