Monday, June 29, 2015

Death by Fashion

Image courtesy - Google images


Recently a Melbourne based woman collapsed in her skinnies because it had cut off the blood supply to her calf muscles. What took me by surprise was the flurry of headlines decrying the fad of skinny jeans being bad for health. It’s pretty obvious these ignorant fools haven’t had the pleasure of wriggling themselves in jeans two sizes too small and experienced its health benefits. It’s only after you’ve spent 20 minutes huffing and puffing, trying to stuff your curves inside these drainpipes designed for women sans a butt and thighs, that you experience its cardio benefits. Not only do you burn calories, you also get to spend the rest of the day standing because you feel stiff as a stick. Since your jeans have also managed the commendable feat of bringing your stomach closer to your heart, you also end up eating almost nothing.

Breathlessness is but a small price for looking breathtaking.

Most of us would rather die than be seen in loose and comfortable clothing. Just the other day when I draped myself in a sack and tied my hair in a tight bun for an Iftaar foodwalk at Jama Masjid, I refused to get myself clicked. And when someone did manage some candid clicks, I promptly disowned myself.

We are willing to brave back problems, bunions, fall flat on our faces as we totter on impossibly high heels. We’ll gladly walk half step at a time in pencil skirts, give up breathing in corset dresses, all for the sake of looking fabulous. So, when a woman lies sprawled on the floor, unable to move her legs because her skinnies sucked the life out of them, she has rightfully earned herself the label of a martyr and definitely not ‘aww, poor thing’!

If people can give up their lives fighting for justice and freedom, why can’t we give up comfort, maybe a limb or two, carbs, sugary treats, peace of mind for the sake of looking hip and fashionable? People die all the time, don’t they? Rather die trying to look gorgeous.

Women, who dress in skin-tight jeans in the searing heat and wear the skimpiest of outfits in freezing temperature, while ordinary mortals choose to shiver in layers of woollies, are the ones who have truly achieved Nirvana. It is they who have understood the concept of Maya and have readily discarded bodily comforts for the greater good of mankind.

Only an evolved soul will go through unimaginable pain getting rid of hair, layers of fat, frown lines and all that they have deemed ugly only because their beauty makes others happy. Yet, we choose to call them fashion victims!


Imagine if we women chose to flaunt our beer bellies like a badge of honour, scratching our bums as we lay on our couch, surrounded by discarded wrappers of crisps and packets of nachos, unmindful of the filth and unwashed stack of utensils in the sink, we’d end up letting go of the excess baggage we carry and end up being like men!

Ironically while on one hand we try our best trying to overcome patriarchal mindsets that constantly restrict our movements and dictate our choices, we choose clothes and styles that don’t even let us breathe freely!

But then, isn’t being a woman all about setting unrealistic standards of perfection for ourselves, be it physical or the many roles we play at home and hearth and then wondering where the hell did happiness disappear?



49 comments:

  1. Can't imagine a woman reveling in her beer belly and scratching her bum...ha ha.
    Realistic expectation and moderation go a long way. I'd go for comfortable fashion.

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    Replies
    1. Which is why me and my palazzos are inseparable during summer.

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  2. "Breathlessness is but a small price for looking breathtaking. " What a line ! Some big brand should see this and pay you for putting this line up in their skinny jeans section !
    By the way I am certain that lady had some other health issue . One just cant put a blame on skinny jeans.

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    Replies
    1. Apparently she was helping a relative with moving and was squatting for long hours.

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  3. Very witty. I'll just say poor women -- we are slaves of fashion. I love a well-fitted pair of jeans but not of the killer kind. :-)

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    Replies
    1. I love my skinnies but only in winter.

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  4. Yes,some fashions are truly breathtaking.Shivering in cold or being squeezed in tight clothes all for looking good!What about feeling comfortable?

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    1. I feel like an Eskimo at Delhi parties. Apparently, I am the only one who feels the chills.

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  5. I would prefer dying in loose and comfortable clothing than a skinny jeans...hehe.. for I am for comfort any day :)

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    Replies
    1. Loose flowy skirts, palazzos are ideal for Delhi summer.

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  6. Ohh I absolutely loved the last lines ... I mean I could actually hug you for that line on setting unrealistic expectations.
    You posts always hit home and this one surely did... I remember avoiding eating more on the days I wear skinnies, fearing that the button would rip out of the jeans :P Ahh the shoes, the men in family do not understand why I have to balance my world on a pointed heel... for that matter even I don't understand why I do it :P
    To me the perfect look is the one that puts in lot of effort, but looks effortless. There you go, unrealistic expectation again :D
    Enjoyed reading your post :)

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  7. Well said Purba! I couldn't help grinning when I read about that Melbourne fashion victim. Living dangerously huh?

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    Replies
    1. More like drop dead, gorgeous :D

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  8. "Breathlessness is but a small price for looking breathtaking" the best line describing fashion consciousness :)
    made me smile, as all your posts do!

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  9. Fashion is something people die for ..so death by fashion ...no big deal eh? Whatsoever happens to the commonsense, I wonder. You have so aptly said it Purba that Breathlessness is but a small price for looking breathtaking.

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    Replies
    1. We all put Baba Ramdev to shame when it comes to sucking in our bellies the moment we spot a camera :D

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  10. A-musing made me A-vaak!!!!

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  11. True, wriggling into a slim fit lowee is an exercise by itself ! No wonder GAP understands Indian women and have setup a shop in S Delhi with clientele bee lining , Purba:)

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    Replies
    1. Yet to visit the Gap store :/

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  12. Is this the same incident, where the TV channels went on discussing.. how jeans is not good for health??

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  13. A post full of Quotable Quotes :)

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  14. Men are catching up too! There's no limit to human stupidity!

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    Replies
    1. Nobody thinks they are stupid.

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  15. Hahaha. Been there, done that. The last line was bang on. We like setting unrealistic expectations, either work towards it or ignore it, and either way stay unhappy even if the result is good. Sigh! Where did all the happiness go? :-)

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    Replies
    1. Been there, done that and writing about it too :D

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  16. She is definitely a martyr!

    But yes, we do put a lot of effort to look fabulous and, that really succeeds when a man says "looking gorgeous". We consider similar compliments from other fellow competitors as trifles.... :-P

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    Replies
    1. You don't have to look gorgeous for men to say 'you look gorgeous'. I think most of us dress up for other women.

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  17. “The most beautiful makeup of a woman is passion. But cosmetics are easier to buy.”
    -Yves Saint-Laurent
    Your write up is mind blowing as always, Purba :)

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    Replies
    1. In my opinion it's contentment.
      Thank you, you are too kind, Amit.

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  18. Dear Purba, when we men see a woman in a "Supreme Contoured" outfit, the feeling is a mix of pity, respect and confusion. Pity for her man who must endure; respect for her risk taking ability; and confusion about what is more difficult: her getting into the dress or the molting?

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    Replies
    1. Damn, just when I thought jeans clinging to our contours was neighbour's envy and owner's pride!

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  19. Right! Have been tortured with the sight of women managing to dive into skinnies a size or two too small and the excess amount settling into ungainly sites. Like you said, I always wonder ' how do they breathe?' ...and in this heat?

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    Replies
    1. To look hot, you have to feel hot - Maa Fashionista

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  20. You know what I am reminded of when I see an adult woman in clothes presumably bought at Kids Gap? Veal. The meat produced by keeping cattle artificially young and diminutive by confining them in tight, enclosed spaces. No scope of body movement equals perennial youth!

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  21. Wearing something where the skin is comfortable matters and I've seen people wearing stuffs on the streets where the spend their time-uneasily-to pull them straight. As you rightly said, it's not the jeans that causes casualty but how one's wear it.

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    Replies
    1. I guess, for some, comfort is a small price to pay for glamour.

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  22. Skinny jeans and I are a far cry apart. My thunder thighs can't wiggle in there, anyway ;) Thanks for the laugh, Purba. This was hilarious!

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    Replies
    1. Good for you, Shailaja!
      I have always felt we women look our gracious best in saris.

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  23. very witty indeed...really, i cant even bend my legs more than half when i'm in skinny. love this post and the idea behind it!

    http://randomscribblific.blogspot.in/

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  24. to wear skinny jeans, do exercise daily, It take time but you will wear skinny jeans.

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