Wednesday, June 17, 2015

Yoga-to Be Flexible To Salute The Sun

Image Courtesy - Google


Ever since Narendra Modi took oath as PM, he’s been jet-setting, trying to convince the world that India and selfies is the best thing to have happened since sliced bread. In an attempt to promote India’s ancient cultural heritage, Modi persuaded United Nations to embrace Yoga, India's biggest contribution to mankind since zero. 21st June will now be observed as International Baba Ramdev Day thanks to his initiative.

While BJP and its sibling outfits are vigorously practising ‘hasahasana’ and rubbing their palms in glee, celebrating this as yet another assertion of Hindu superiority, minority religious groups have planted their feet firmly on the ground in Tadasana, opposing its compulsory imposition in schools.

Some Muslim Groups have expressed anxiety that saluting the sun (one of the asanas to be included in the mass drill) will turn them into beef-hating Hindus. Their fears were further fuelled by BJP veteran Murli Manohar Joshi, who declared that Muslims do yoga five times a day and that the Prophet had been a great yogi.

These Muslim Groups have now renamed themselves as Ray Ban and can be spotted wearing burqas to protect themselves from the un-Islamic rays of the sun.

This has sent ripples of fear in the US, one of the first countries to adopt Bikram and his hot variant of Yoga. They are now attributing their new-found love for vegetarianism to Yoga and its ghar wapasi after-effects. The beef lobby is urging New Yorkers to boycott Yoga guru Sri Sri Ravi Shankar’s session to be held at Times Square. They are afraid that the asanas will trigger a craving for paneer and make the participants shun beef.

Jersey Cows association has welcomed International Yoga Day with much enthusiasm and are hoping that Mother’s Day will now be observed as a day to honour their valuable contribution to increasing American girths. India TV in its 65th breaking news of the day has reported that a Texan farmer refused to butcher his cow, insisting he could hear his dead Mom’s voice in her mooing.


I feel the fears are as justified as renaming Christmas to Good Governance Day and Valentine’s Day to Matru-Pitru Diwas to counter its corrupting effects on our youth. If celebrating Christmas can turn us into Christians, surely Yoga will turn its practitioners into Om-chanting devout Hindus!

I’m surprised that the Pope hasn’t appealed to the United Nations to observe 21st December as World Aerobics Day, the surest way to becoming a Christian. Missionaries can certainly do with a break from converting poor tribals and dalits to a new faith.

Meanwhile the saffron brigade, the true upholders of our culture have started looking at the Moon from a new angle. They are now insisting married women who break their fast looking at the moon on Karvachauth are lunatic and anti-national and should be packed to Pakistan.

Their husbands are aghast. With no wives, how will they crack the same wifey jokes again and again and convince their friends that they are not afraid of their better halves?

Modern turned Behenjee, Yoga Didi is befuddled. If she can straighten people’s spines, help them extricate their foot from their mouth, squeeze out their excess gas, surely, she can rid the world of gasbags hell-bent on saffronising her? Don’t these fools know, the more they force people to love her, the more vehemently they’ll reject her?


39 comments:

  1. We will not worship the sun but only the moon. If you don't worship the sun go drown in the sea.....
    So much idiocy going on in the name of yoga and religion.
    Loved the punch line" If celebrating Christmas can turn us into Christians, surely Yoga will turn its practitioners into Om-chanting devout Hindus!"

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. And now Ministry of Ayush spamming and telling us how much we should love Yoga!

      Delete
  2. How inane are the times we live in? While my parents did not fear that saying The Lord's Prayer and singing Christmas carols was not going to make me convert, I wonder where all this intolerance is stemming from. We can't look beyond our parochial thinking. As a Yoga enthusiast, I can only pity this thinking. All that they are doing is keeping themselves closed to what is good for them.

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    Replies
    1. I think the keyword holding many back is compulsory.

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  3. I think we have nothing better to do than use yoga and religion to create a ruckus ...Why can't we just grow up I wonder... Sometimes I feel our teeny tiny brains are good for nothing as we try and find issues in ,well, non issues...We just can't seem to look beyond religion!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Good for us bloggers! We are never short of issues to outrage about :D

      Delete
  4. One doesn't have to be a pagan to salute the sun. Any sensible person would do that in gratitude, as we know that all life on the earth exists because of the sun. There would be no moon in absence of the sun...
    Your write up is absolutely wonderful, as always, Purba:) The greatest thing is that it is without malice...
    The 'Ray Ban' and 'Karwachauth' parts had me in splits:):) Thank you!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. And thank you for reading, Amit :-)

      Delete
  5. You make us laugh at our collective idiocies--great social service Purba.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hehehe...not many will agree.

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  6. Thanks to our government's inane ability to botch up everything in the name fo culture and Hinduism we have made a mockery of something as wonderful and fabulous as Yoga !

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    Replies
    1. You bet, Ruchira!

      Our government thinks we have lost the ability to decide for ourselves what's good for us.

      Delete
  7. I just loved this post! At the same time, I have no choice but wonder what have we become? We don't even need a reason to fight with each other. This is not the India I want to live in, this is a circus.

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    Replies
    1. Hehehe...But I missed it so much when I was away.

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  8. This information is quite useful, I truly enjoyed.

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  9. Loved reading the post. You write so well. :)

    Being a Muslim, I don't have any issue with Yoga or even the asana. Personally never tried yoga though coz of laziness. However, just don't understand the concept of making something like this mandatory. It is just about diverting issues of governance and creating unnecessary a situation of "Us v Them"!! If it wouldn't have been mandatory, lot many including Muslims, would have joined without fuss.

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    Replies
    1. I completely agree with you. Equating Yoga with Hinduism and national pride and the refusal to submit to this rule being construed as treachery is what has put so many communities off.

      Delete
  10. Why didn't you put this up on Faking News? It's a great piece!

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  11. Celebrating a festival and practising some exercises are two different things.
    You can't compare Christmas with yoga though.

    I agree that these politicians and some educated illiterates are making issues with all these things.
    I am not against any such culture or tradition.

    But Yoga is neutral thing and far from religion. Its just the Maharishi Patanjali is the father of Yoga, who is of course a Hindu, many lunatics say Doing Yoga means you are Hindu. If Maharishi Patanjali would have seen this day, he might have dies of heart attack :P that how people are politicizing over it.

    I respect Narendra Modi for this decision and to make everyone aware of Yoga, its an awesome step (though just the beginning)

    C'mon Doing Yoga means you are much more towards knowing yourself and much more able to listen to your soul.

    Yoga means to join, to unite, to attach (where hindu and muslim things are here?)
    Moreover Whatever we do is just Asanas. Raja Yoga has eight limbs known as:
    1. Yama : Universal morality
    2. Niyama : Personal observances
    3. Asanas : Body postures
    4. Pranayama : Breathing exercises, and control of prana
    5. Pratyahara : Control of the senses
    6. Dharana : Concentration and cultivating inner perceptual awareness
    7. Dhyana : Devotion, Meditation on the Divine
    8. Samadhi : Union with the Divine

    Where it states that follow some Hindu religion thing?

    Read the meaning of Yoga in simple words here: http://www.theayurveda.org/yoga/yoga-definition-types-in-simpler-words/

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Perhaps the government should issue a gag order on specimens like Yogi Adityanath who are equating opposition to certain asanas with anti-nationalism.

      We have nothing against Yoga but we are against factions who are hellbent on imposing it with heavy nationalist, religious and cultural overtones.

      Delete
  12. Came here after a long time. Really witty take.

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  13. Well, get set for tomorrow. The big day is here. I have set my DVR to wake up bright and early at 6 am and record the Yoga with Modi session live from Rajpath. I plan to watch it over a pancakes and sausages breakfast when I wake up around 11 am.

    Oh, and I didn't know Valentine's Day had been renamed to Matru-Pitru Diwas. Finally, then, a special day for "Loving your Parents" that KJo has been fighting for all his life!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I practiced Shavasana and made Modi proud.

      Delete
  14. lol! The brouhaha around yoga day provided so much fodder for jokes. Although I love yoga and not a day goes by without my practice but masses of people lying on streets synchronising their gas release ...thanks, but no thanks!

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    Replies
    1. Still ROFLing @ masses of people lying on streets synchronising their gas release ...

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  15. Imposing something will always bring resistance. Yoga is something I failed to practice for a year and now that NaMo is urging, I need to go back not because he said but since I've been planning to get back soon. Loove the post, Purba:)
    I am planning for an International Vodka and beef day, will they heed to me or send me somewhere else, with the tag traitor?!

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    Replies
    1. These days its very easy to be called ant-national - just say you love beef, hate yoga and find Modi's fixation for selfies funny.

      Delete
  16. The contemporary sequence we know has its origins in the ancient Vedic period in India when the Sun was worshiped as an intense image of health and immortal life.This connection with the Sun and all that it speaks to lies at the heart of the Sun Salutation –we can smoothly tackle this energy over all levels of our being whether we remember this thought while practicing.

    ))Kathy Brooks.

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