Monday, May 23, 2016

The Indian man and his love affair with his boxers


Also published here - >

Not so long ago the Indian Aunty discovered an unhindered, unclasped and drawstringless existence in her nightie. In this stifling world of patriarchy that’s constantly trying to suffocate her with its custom-made list of do’s and don’ts and only-meant-for-her morality, she found liberation in this one piece wonder garment. She boldly turned it into a cool daywear that smelt mostly of sweat and spices.

What the Indian woman does today, her male counterpart thinks of tomorrow. Even as she was outgrowing her fascination for this tent-like apparel and switching over to no-nonsense tracks and tee, the Indian man went ahead and found boxers. True, the lungi discovered him much earlier. But a garment that parts willingly at the slightest hint of a gust or lust can have hazardous consequences for the beholder, especially female. Unlike the male that gets excited at the slightest show of limb and imagines the rest of the anatomy, the female is more horrified than filled with desire as she espies upon his lush Amazonian foliage on his limbs and upwards.

The boxer in its cottony soft splendour is its perfect substitute. It comes with cute fly buttons that do a fairly competent job of containing his excitement. Unlike boring trousers, boxers come in bold colours, graffiti, floral and cartoon prints that let him express his naughty side. Its dangerously short length ensures it keeps the beholder’s pulse racing. You never know which part of his appendage will pop out this time.

Understandably, he fell for it hook, line and sinker and like his female counterpart set out to conquer the world in it. While mankind elsewhere continues to wear it as a roomy undergarment, the Bhartiya bhaisahab has turned it into a versatile pair of shorts that can fit into any role he wants. One day it’s a cool gym wear as he huffs and puffs on the treadmill in it. Never mind the incredulous look a certain lady named Purba running on the machine next to him continues to give. Perhaps he mistakes it for adoration. Ever since he was a baby boy his mother made him believe he was the best thing to have happened to womankind. And mothers are always right.

As he prowls around the gym constantly checking out his imaginary biceps and rotund belly, he realises the boxers need to travel more of the world with him. He turns it into resort wear, evening by the pool wear, ‘let me have breakfast in it at a public place’ wear. He knows his good looks and charms can turn even an ordinary chaddi into a fashion statement.

Don’t know why Adidas, Nike and their ilk spend millions on Climacool technology. The Indian man doesn’t need any technology sheknology. He can keep his cool in his boxers. No wonder he’s not scared of global warming. He’s ready to face it in his chaddis.


Once you’ve experienced its comfort you’ll know why he refuses to part with it. Like the elusive true love he has always dreamt of, his boxer is accommodating, always at his bidding, and accompanies him wherever he wants without a murmur of protest. Its love is unconditional regardless of his expanding girth, shrinking memory and cluelessness about ‘you don’t love me anymore’ outbursts. It definitely gives him more space than his relationship. What’s more, he can lovingly caress his posterior and scratch his interiors without hindrance.

Too bad he can’t wear it to office.


It has yet to occur to him that gambolling in public spaces in your underwear is highly ‘inappropriate’. And doesn’t the term ‘inappropriate clothing’ apply only to women! Ever since the dawn of humanity, womankind has been entrusted with the responsibility for men’s behaviour by mankind. So, when a man misbehaves with her, it’s obviously her fault. Especially when she’s attired skimpily. A woman who looks and dresses sexy is invariably looking for attention. When men, unable to control their excitement, leer and lunge at her, grab her butt and sometimes more, she obviously enjoys it. This is how the civilized male appreciates beauty and only a demented woman will reject his advances.

So, a man in his boxers is doing his bit for equality by dressing skimpily. Dear women, he’s begging for your attention. He wants you to appreciate him the way he appreciates your beauty and expects you to treat him like an object.

Unfortunately for us, try as we might, we are unable to return the favour. The specimens in boxers that really make our inner goddess do a salsa usually know what to wear and where. It’s a terrible tragedy for womankind that they are not around for public viewing. Unless you are their bai or partner who cohabits with him, there’s no way you can gaze longingly at his limbs and drool a bit for added effect.

The ones that wear boxers at the gym, pair knee-length socks with capris are gorgeous, handsome hunks but only according to their Moms. They are as sartorially challenged as they are lacking in the looks department. The only way you can appreciate them is by looking for their inner beauty.

No wonder an underwear brand’s tagline is ‘yeh andar ki baat’ hai. Rupa gave up on outer beauty long time back.




47 comments:

  1. I find it awfully uncomfortable to walk around in my 3/4ths outside my home. I would rather wear jeans even if the temperature out there is 90 deg cel, not that I just have only jeans with me.

    The problem with 'yeh andar ke baat hai' is not many can see and if they could, that would be rare.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. But shorts are a lifesaver when it's a searing 47 degrees!

      Delete
  2. Good Lord Purba, you took the humble boxers to another level. This one is another gem in your lungi, nightie and sleeveless blouse series. Delightful read. Hope your gym buddy gets to read this.

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    Replies
    1. If they do, they'll make sure I never enter the gym again :p

      Delete
  3. What a laugh riot this was! About time we give them back the looks, why should boys have all the fun? Only, the looks this time will be of disgust.

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    Replies
    1. Should we organise a candlelight march in boxers to protest?

      Delete
  4. Hehehe You know l want to turn around and tell them that this is underwear. What's wrong with you? Do you know that a lot of men think that they are shorts! They Titan around in tee and boxers. I seriously want to throw up. This was a laugh riot! Thanks for writing this. :-)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Maybe throwing up will help :p

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  5. This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

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  6. Absolutely hilarious! I so hate men strutting in public in boxers and as you astutely observed, doing unmentionable acts to contents within!
    Andar ki baat ko andar hi rakho na! Seriously overgrown mama's boys!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Considering how expressive women are, I'm surprised they have yet to take the hint!

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  7. Thanks for a brief look at boxers and this one comes with a paunch line. On the positive side there are no hipsters in the gym.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Oh dear! Now you're scaring me.

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  8. So funny! Never thought that the humble boxers can be so riotous! :D

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I believe in gender equality. If I can make fun of women in nighties, why should I not extend the same privilege to men?

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  9. That is what happens when an imaginative mind works hard to pin down the boxer:) I endorse your views and find this 24X7 convenience apparel nauseating at places it was nver meant to be !

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    Replies
    1. I think wicked is the word :p

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  10. It would have been better if the girls had embraced the boxers :)

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  11. What words ! What Words... some of these sentences are real gems -- But a garment that parts willingly at the slightest hint of a gust

    and this one makes me laugh again and again: lush Amazonian foliage on his limbs and upwards.... This post will be read again and again by me :) . A post that will make me laugh and think alike

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  12. Never before has anyone so carefully (and eloquently) analysed the boxer shorts. Another laughter riot from A-Musing :)
    So very true, Purba. There are times when I want to (not so politely) remind them that 'yeh andar ki baat hai' - not for public display!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Now I'm feeling like a perv, Sid :p

      Delete
  13. Lol.. still laughing. This one is a must read for all men (in case they are tempted to overuse their boxers) and all women for the best of laughs.

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    Replies
    1. Yes..yes..I'm hoping this post will come flashing in front of their eyes every time they step out of the house in their boxers.

      Delete
  14. I have decided that if I need to keep my job I shall not read your posts at work. The first para, I read the first two paras and I was laughing out loud. What sparkling wit Purba !

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    Replies
    1. Too bad the man in boxers will never get to read this piece :-(

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  15. Good Lord! This is too good. If this was inspired by a gym encounter its fabulous to see how that has translated into this hilarious piece.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Truth be told, this was years back.

      But we Indians have the propensity to walk into the gym in our nightwear. Have seen as many women in their PJ's as I've seen men in Bermudas.

      Delete
  16. Haha someone is being inspired by Sunny not Leone but our dhai kilo ka haath with Rupa ad. That's an epic post making this under garment a national icon...lol On a serious note, I've never worn one and don't think will ever.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. WOmankind is thankful to you for your sacrifice, Vishal.

      Delete
  17. I pity that poor guy who was in the treadmill next to you ;) Never knew what was in store for him. Heh heh.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. What!!! It's me who's in dire need of sympathy.

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  18. Knowing what we look best in is a very tough decision :).... Better wear what mummy thinks we look good in :D

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  19. I have seen Google guys wear crumpled shirts (off the clothes line) to office. It is allowed. So boxers are not far off.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Too busy to iron their clothes, I guess!

      Delete
  20. Boxers are saviours for men when the temperature is soaring. If women can wear short khakis or capri and roam freely in shopping malls, why cannot men wear boxers at home or in pool or even in gym. I don't understand why it bothers you to see men in boxers. It is our life, our way. At least we are wearing something and not like lungi clad people people who don't wear anything beneath and accidentally showcase their andar ki baat. If you have problem with men in boxers at gym, either you change gym or ignore the men in boxers. I am open to your viewpoint.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Boxers is underwear meant to be worn at home and inside the trousers when you step outside.
      Also, nobody is stopping you from roaming around in malls in capris and short khakis.

      Delete
  21. Seeing hairy legs of men is not attractive): ... but they don't bother

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. But our hairy legs do bother them a lot.

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    2. Yes boxer are little bit awkward to wear in public but believe me a knee length is best thing to wear on earth. So comfy in wearing and when needed to take off.

      As far as hairy legs are concerned, you can't expect us to shave or wax them. We can't do it, we won't do it.

      Yes, if you see a guy in boxer, go in a group of 3-4 girls, toggle at him, pass the comments and make him uncomfortable. Take the revenge ☺☺ .

      Delete
  22. Can't wait to get a sighting of this when I visit!! :P
    " You never know which part of his appendage will pop out this time" equal parts blech! and guffaw!!

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  23. I realized that girls must always beautiful, whether in any circumstances. I am the man towards perfection, in fact, as in the picture
    b612 , b612 , b612 , b612 , b612 , b612 , b612 , b612 , b612 , b612 , b612 , b612 , b612 , b612 , b612

    ReplyDelete

Psst... let me know what you are thinking.

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