Sunday, January 15, 2017

An Open Letter from the Short Skirt to Upholders of Women’s Morality

Image courtesy - DragoArt.com



Mitron,

Of late you’ve accused me of so many sexual crimes I have yet to commit, I’m contemplating suicide so that I can be reborn as a petticoat. I get it, my lack of length makes you deranged and you end up doing bad bad things. But must you always transfer the blame for your misdeeds on me, you nincompoops?

There was a time I used to fancy myself as just a skirt, hanging in front of a girl, asking her to love me. Fall in love she did, hook, hemline and zipper. Our love was as perfect as described in Hallmark cards and as deep as a Bengali boudi’s neckline. I fancied myself as the wind beneath her legs, goading her to own her body and embrace her sexuality. She often whispered to me how liberated I made her feel. I hugged her tight, fluttered around her waist, as she set out to conquer the world, looking like a million bucks. It was a smooth ride for us till some dick-head with no control of his dick pounced on her and then conveniently claimed it was me that beckoned him. At first I dismissed as a joke. A single male of the species with limited intelligence refusing to take responsibility for his pawing ways. I was so wrong. Before I could say STFU, it became a chorus with repeat performances year after year. It cut across demographic barriers uniting men and men alike, hell bent on absolving the molestor, the rapist, the sexual aggressor who needed to resort to violence to feel like a man. I have borne the burden of their blame for so long, my shoulders are stooping lower than these men’s self-esteem. These days I feel like Ganga whose sole purpose in life is to wash off the sins of these paapis.

Hey Ram, beam me up, will ya?

After much introspection I have arrived at this conclusion; my biggest crime is being born a skirt. And I am never allowed to forget that. I was told that the only way I can hope to lead a long unfruitful life is by covering myself with layers of plastic and shutting myself in the cupboard and wait for death. In the meantime, I was free to do whatever others wanted me to do. The rules set for my impeccable conduct by upholders of my morality read longer than the terms and conditions that no one reads but clicks on ‘I agree’ anyway. Interestingly, the rules apply only to me and not the ones who set them. While my male ‘counterpant’ is encouraged to be whatever he wants to be – loose character or a tight assed aggressive prick who demands, raises his voice, pushes, shoves, to climb the ladder of success, dare I do the same, I am promptly labelled as a bitch.


Her colours are too loud, she shines too bright. Is she trying to be a slut? She argues too much, has opinions that clash with my ego – my god, she needs to get laid!

Alas, I am that black sheep skirt that refused to conform and reached for the knees and settled somewhere near the thighs. Since I’m obviously up to no good, I must be taught a lesson. And what better way to do than trample all over my dignity and soil me with the filth that resides in your head! Yet, you try to justify it by labelling me as the mini nymph that messed up your poor innocent head.

You have long convinced yourself that you’re the helpless victim of the girl in heels who flaunts her curves, sways her hips as she walks. She does it to catch your attention. So, if you pinch her butt, grope her breasts and tear her clothes off, she should collapse at your feet with gratitude.

I mean, isn’t this what every woman wants, despite men claiming they have no idea what she wants.

She simply wants his attention, dammit! Yes she does, you moron, but the one who is man enough to appreciate her sensuality. And definitely not the one that leers and jeers and treats her as a plaything who will entertain him.


What perplexes you is when she rejects your advances! You just cannot believe that the woman who looks sexy and beautiful just so that she can ensnare you has the audacity to kick you in your groin and push you away. You fume – the jalebi of your mother’s eyes, the prince whose wishes can never been denied. You are after all the realiser of your parent’s dream, their insurance for old age, who will be sold off to the highest bidder in the dowry market. In the meantime you decide to show these pesky women their real place.

How brave.

It unsettles you that she defies the many diktats you set for her good conduct. The more you threaten her with violence, the more determined she gets to fight you back. It scares you that it is your stiff resistance to let her surge that fuels her determination to succeed. The more you shame her for voicing her sentiments, the louder her voice becomes. Sometimes she becomes shrill, her ways militant. But after trying to silence her voice for centuries, can you blame her? She’s not asking you to pick up cudgels for her. Learn to listen, empathise and accept that there’s something deeply wrong the way women are treated instead of fighting her with whataboutery! Instead of telling her she needs to change to keep herself self safe, change that thinking of yours.

And you know what, I have made up my mind. I do not want to be pants, petticoat, salwar or whatever shit you want me to be. I am proud to be who I am.

Cheers,

Proud to be a short skirt.





34 comments:

  1. I hope this post is shared again and again and reaches the Dinos who want to continue to live in middle ages. .... Keep them coming....

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  2. A lovely expression of femininity Purba! Am sure it will be loved many times over

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  3. when i was kid,i used to hear that women live between 4 walls.these days both the genders live between 4 virtual walls without knowing or understanding culture/civilisation/society.am not going to write lengthy comment or give a meaningful explanation on what's wrong with your post cuz it takes years of experience to understand society in real.it looks like people never REALLY LIVED. i dunno when people(both genders) who call themselves as educated will think beyond 4 walls. to be honest ,your post is very conventional and it doesn't explain or deal reality.after reading your post and many posts on similar topic by many women are unidimensional and any intellectual will think that people still live between 4 walls.OK I WILL GIVE SIMPLE EXAMPLE,

    A YEAR BACK I WAS ON DELHI FLIGHT WHILE RETURNING FROM DARJEELING,THERE WAS THIS GIRL WHO WAS WEARING MINI SHORT ADJACENT TO MY AISLE SEAT.I CAN'T TURN MY HEAD FREELY,EITHER I HAVE TO KEEP MY HEAD DOWNWARDS OR I HAVE TO KEEP MY HEAD STRAIGHT CUZ THIS GIRL FEELS UNCOMFORTABLE EVEN IF MY HEAD TURNS 5 DEGREES TO RIGHT.I GOT NECK PAIN THAT DAY.i felt like shouting,"WHAT KIND OF STUPID ARE YOU TO WEAR SUCH DRESS IN PUBLIC WHEN YOU ARE NOT COMFORTABLE".SHE WAS HIDING HER THIGHS WITH tray table though i did not had any intention to stare and the other guy sitting adjacent to me was staring. i have one simple question for all girls and feminists,WILL YOU FEEL COMFORTABLE IF SOMEONE SITS ADJACENT TO YOU WITH ERECTION IN HIS PANTS ,IF YOU FEEL COMFORTABLE AND IF YOU DON'T COMPLAIN,THEN MEN TOO WON'T COMPLAIN ABOUT YOUR SHORT SKIRT OR CLEAVAGE SHOW.TO KEEP SOCIETY SAFE AND SECURE, CULTURE AND CIVILISATION TELLS PEOPLE TO DRESS APPROPRIATELY BASED ON HUMAN OR GENDER INSTINCTS .BUT PEOPLE JUST WANT TO VIOLATE CULTURE AND CIVILISATION TO FIGHT FOR THEIR SENSELESS AND STUPID RIGHTS CALLED RIGHT TO DRESS.DRESS CODE IS NOT FIXED BY GENDERS OR GOVERNMENT,IT IS FIXED ACCORDING TO HUMAN NATURE.

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    Replies
    1. Speechless. Pls spread it. I'm not sure people who are meant to read this will understand the little tough English still they will get the idea.

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    2. Dear Mr Superman,

      You are the reason I write. Makes it worth it.

      Delete
    3. dear purba maa,you don't understand that indian society is a eunuch society,it is neither modern nor conservative which sticks to culture of origin.in a eunuch society, cultureless people can't co-exist cuz the very definition of culture is mutilated. i hope women like you will start living beyond 4 virtual walls of social media, electronic and print media(12 walls combined :-)). i don't write to just criticise people, truth must win always. i don't feel happy if i hurt someone with my comments/writings,so you need not consider this as some kinda attack.

      being superman i can't speak earth's language english to perfection but my conscience/wisdom is flawless,if anyone wants to find flaw in my english,then you have ran out of wisdom/intellect.

      if you are daring and dashing woman,why r u deleting my comment.i did not use any unparliamentary language or did not insult you.

      Delete
  4. Scathing! Sigh. I just hope this piece reaches those it is aimed at.

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    Replies
    1. I doubt it. The gentlemen who calls himself Superman is hellbent on educating me.

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  5. This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

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  6. I doubt if they will get the biting satire. The mindset is hard to change.

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    Replies
    1. I'm hoping parents will exercise as much caution, dont's in bringing up their sons as they do for their daughters.

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  7. Loved it, as usual.

    It made me think seriously too. The short skirt, much as I love it for aesthetic reasons, is a sinister weapon too, isn't it? It teases men, tantalises, and then walks away flaunting curves and swaying hips.

    If only men could stop at the aesthetics behind the curves and hips!

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    Replies
    1. I don't think it's sinful to be aroused as long as the reaction is civilized.

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  8. I am amazed how you unleash your creativity. Since I am new I am reading your past posts almost daily. I have started my own satire blog. Would appreciate it if you add my site t your blog roll. Even you dont no issue!

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    Replies
    1. I don't add blogs to my blog roll on blogger's requests :-)

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  9. The way Ms Skirt began her commencement speech is a killer! Strange though it may seem —and it has been shared on the Unsocial Media already— the burqa seems to have had a similar experience somewhere in a galaxy much, much closer home. Moral of the story: "ladke, ladke hain… galti ho jati hai! (His Excellency Soft Lion Milkman)

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    Replies
    1. Ha ha...soft lion milkman.

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    2. Moral of the story - whatever you do, say, wear, someone somewhere will have a problem. So, go ahead and do it anyway.

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  10. "...my god, she needs to get laid! isn’t this what every woman wants, despite men claiming they have no idea what she wants." Exactly the words I have heard some so called modern, educated, enlightened and progressive men speak. You hit the nail on the head Purba. The man who needs to push his desires on to a woman regardless of her consent, using her dress as an excuse, her anything as an excuse, needs calling out. So glad you wrote this no holds barred piece. All of this needs saying, needs shouting out at every social and familial interaction.

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    Replies
    1. Not sure whether it will impact the way certain men and women think. They will continue with their blinkered existence.

      But as you mentioned, that should not stop us.

      Delete
  11. Poor little skirt :D She is getting misunderstood for being slutty! That itself is so mean!

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    Replies
    1. Time to start a 'save the skirt' campaign.

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  12. If it was men wearing skirts...oh wait..they do have their lungis & boxer shorts that they see no harm in wearing outdoors, in the name of comfort..
    Hypocrites!
    And an excellent write up as always :)

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    Replies
    1. The only difference, we don't lunge at them when we see them in boxers.

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  13. Haha as tongue in cheek as you can get ! Hilarious !

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